Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Everything is Wonderful Now.

That old adage of not adding fuel to the fire seems to completely overlook those situations where the ones starting the fire and smacking you on the effigy block really have nothing better to do than go around and nitpick away, even though the group they are nitpicking hasn’t done a thing in retaliation or affirmation. Yes, I’m aware that the site that we shant refer to for fear they may think that we reciprocate the crush they have on us *gasp* used our icons. I can’t access the website so I’m trusting the few people who told me what appeared to be going on and how they think the terms and conditions submitees assent to is being violated by--heaven forbid--us! Now, I could bust out my shiny law degree and explain that terms and conditions, as well as an acceptance to those terms and conditions, does not natural law supersede. I could try to explain that you can’t contract away rights you don’t have, and thus it logically flows that no one has rights in those things that bear no legal protection to begin with. But? It would do absolutely nothing. Pity. I do so love being a litigious whore, too.

Also, one last bit of house keeping. I know we’ve been kind of “slacking” with the frequency of our reviews. Between the school year resuming, new jobs, vacations, medical issues, Nazi employers who forbid blogging at work etc, we’re regrouping. I’m thinking the “order” we have going on at the moment is going to go straight out the window. Certain reviewers may appear more frequently, but that’s just the way it goes.

And now, it’s review time. The Wonderful World of Des isn’t so much wonderful as it is tolerable. Honestly, the only reason I say this is because the pink template is the equivalent of walking in on your own parents making whoopee, it hurts your eyes and leaves the world looking a little less shiny and bright.

Occular assault aside, the word “sigification” is either misspelled and should be signification, or it’s her attempt to pull a Beyonce and put a word that really has no business in the dictionary into the dictionary. We all have our causes. The sidebar would be fine; however the maps are fucking huge and extend well beyond the sidebar and, depending on the resolution your screen is, well beyond the screen itself. I have nothing against horizontal scroll bars, but when their existence is to see a map of the places your readers come from? That’s one of those “no one gives a shit but you” situations, so at least make it fit in the sidebar.

Writing wise, she’s a bit all over which my ADD self is rather fond of. She even talks about one of my favorite movies “Big Fish” in the middle of a post that starts with an introspective look about God via XTC lyrics and her view on how fate works. She’s from Brooklyn, I love Brooklyn for reasons I won’t go into other than to say “Sheepshead Bay represent!” and she makes cool jewelry.

My only complaint is it seems like she’s trying a bit hard to be callous. Could just be my perception.

I give it for the writing. I'd go three, but that template really does leave me in pain.

I also give it a for the Beyonce move. Sorry, I really can't let it slide.


  1. doh.
    damn spelling retardation. I'll fix that before anyone else notices.
    As for the pink, well, I'm too lazy to change it.

    Thanks for the jewelry plug!

  2. Sorry, I felt it was my duty to point that out. What's funny is I didn't notice until the third or fourth time I read it. Something seemed wrong but I couldn't tell what, so I don't blame you for not really noticing :)

  3. eh. I never look at it. Hence the pink. Doesn't bother me!

  4. Then pink-on! Who cares what some unoriginal review site says, right?! :)

    I really think I'm just hypersensitive to bright colors. I'm the douchebag in the sunglasses during a rainy day because the haze makes my eyes go nuts.

  5. Purple sunglasses are the best for that.

  6. Wow, Des, you've really buggered your blog design in IE. i think it's those maps, they are far too wide for your sidebar, and as a result, are kicking it down below your blog entries. I personally find those maps incredibly stupid, but if you want to have them on your blog, I'd suggest doing one of two things:

    1) Shrink them to about 250 pixels in width.
    2) Put them into a blog post and link to the post from your sidebar.

    But that's just me.

    I don't mind the pink, it's not the color of pepto bismal, but it is the same as a million other blogs.

    That's the only thing that would bother me.

  7. p.s. I think y'all spend way too much time worrying about them. You spending time worrying about what they say about you would be like me spending hours and hours wondering what the local middle schoolers think of me.

    They really aren't worth the time.

  8. I think I will take the maps down. I'm not tech-savvy enough to shrink them, nor to create my own backdrop / color scheme.

    And, shangri-la, do mean I spend too much time worrying about what the reviewers say? Because I don't really care. I just thought it would be fun. And it was, besides pointing out the visual flaws and spelling mistake.

  9. I think she was referring to the whores over at italk2much who keep posting about us, Des.

    If you want help resizing the pictures, I can probably help. Let me know.

  10. oh.

    As for the pictures, I took them down. If you can help me with the backdrop, that would be cool. Yours is really pretty. You can email me if you want. My email's on my site.


  11. No, she really IS callous. But charming as hell.

  12. I think you should refrain from mentioning "those of whom we do not speak."

    Some may argue that, "If you talk about those of whom we do not speak, have you not spoken of that about which we do not talk?"

    To which I say, "Do not speak of that about which we talk of not speaking...about."

    (My apologies to Scary Movie 4)

  13. Sorry for any confusion, Des. I wasn't talking about you in that second comment. But yeah. What squid said.

    My daughter and her friends play what they call "the whisper game," where they talk to each other while looking meaningfully at the pre-pubescent boys, and act like they are talking about them. It drives the boy crazy.

    The antics of the bitches are about as mature. Or interesting.

    Fun in middle school? Sure. But as an adult, I have better things to do with my time than hear what a bunch of bitter bitches who haven't gotten laid in months have to say about anything.

  14. They are exactly like middle school kids. But Squid is right: "If you talk about those of whom we do not speak, have you not spoken of that about which we do not talk?"

  15. Uh, you can't seem to ever STOP talking about them. Who's the middle-schooler's here?

  16. Uh, why don't you grow some balls and not post anonymously?

    Now there's an idea, huh? Actually representing something, other than nothing?

  17. Fight! Fight! Fight!

    Sorry, got caught up in the whole middle school thing.


Grow a pair.