The Douchebag Movement Spreads On

Have you ever met someone and though they may be slightlyh amusing, you can't help but look at them and think "Wow, they are trying way too fucking hard."? Or, perhaps you'd like another analogy! You know what friend you have who is amusing in their own right but just has a habit of taking things too far?

Yup! I assure you my spunk ain't that funky. That funky aftertaste is what A New Random leaves in your mouth. With "Random thoughts...spewed forth effortlessly on the little of substance currently happening in my life, most of which is clearly made up and never actually happened. Plus other crap." sitting on the top of the header [in a font that ever so effortlessly blends into the header image] pretty much lets you know that whatever smile you have on your face while reading will purely be a result of pain. And, before I go on, methinks that description has a glaring gramatical issue. Shouldn't it be "spewed forth effortlessly on what little substance currently happens in my life"? I ask for your help, beloved readers, for my english as a second language skills leave me skeptical of my blatant awesomeness.

The template isn't horrible, but it's not eye grabbing. It's black, gray, white, and various shades that fit between the awesome spectrum between black and gray. That's right. The header is black and gray, and the fonts he chooses to use in that header are, coincidently, black and gray. How's that for your reading ease? Not to mention the header is grainy and pixelated, and makes me kind of motion sick due to the lack of pigmentation. It all just melds together. I'm all about searching for things-food, jobs, the notorious clitoris-but when it comes to something that is purely for the purpose of being read, like, ohhhh I don't know a blog! I would generally avoid magic-eye stylings at all costs.

The sidebar is neat, but I would suggest using a drop down menu for the archives because those are just super sweet, dude.

The content goes back to what I started saying: he seems to be trying too hard. His personal description specifically states that he is "willing to share his idiocy on a daily basis with friends and strangers alike. I'm thoughtful like that." Of course you're thoughtful like that. Everyone who has a fucking blog is thoughtful like that, because that's the point of a blog! Sharing things no one really cares about is the brass tacks of blogging, but I thank you for stating the obvious. And I think the correct word is idiocracy. Idiocy is the state of being an idiot, which I think you can't share. Idiocracy, on the other hand, is like the STD your momma never told you about.

Again, I doubt my obvious awesomeness so readers help me out.

Not convinced homeboy is trying to hard? Read the Dannon Yogurt post and you'll see what I mean. He starts out with the traditional commuter guy telling another guy dressed as a giant fruit to fuck off and keep his fruitiness away, which is amusing and plausible. But then he goes too far and makes the man in fruit fashion fail to get a homeless guy to try his yogurty and fruity concotion. Not funny. At all. It's just beating the poor joke to death, which he started to do when he went past the commuter woman.

That's just how this blog rolls. Painful smile included with each and every post.

A and a is how I roll. Contrasting colors aren't the antichrist, consider using them, and having a template that shows a bit of personality is a good thing unless you really are the human equivalent of toast. Also, I've said it before-I think every reviewer has said it before-and I'll say it again: blogging does not make you cool, introspective, or funny. Having a sense of humor makes you funny. Just an FYI.