Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Pussy Sanity. Is That Possible?

It's two for one patron shooters at happy hour at the local bar, and there's two reviews for me to do today. Coincidence? Who the fuck cares. There has got to be some kind of benefit for being on Kitty's personal bitch dial other than getting an "I love you!" after she badgers and guilts my ass into doing things. But, people have disappeared are slacking in review land, and I guess it's up to me to make up the slack.

Fuck obligation!

First up is Sake of Sanity. It's very purple. Not that I hate purple or anything, and not that it's one of those purples that makes your eyes go on strike, it's just very purple. The header is neat-miskeet, but I just have issues with there being a Goth girl sitting there looking all forlorn and, well, gothic amidst a sea of lavender. If that girl is the author, I'm going to extend a personal invite to two for one Patron day to her, and thank her for spank bank material. I'm super classy like that!

The sidebar is clean, the template is neat, I have no idea what all the shit under the "Under Construction" heading is, I think the tagboard is a little gay, and I really have no clue why the drop down menu for the categories is accompanied by a "view" button when none of the other drop down menus have one. To all that I say the world may never know!

Now for some content. I have to admit the member that gave me my namesake was rather excited to read the post title "Gag, cough, repeat," but it turns out it's just a post about her being sick. It's a mommy blog of sorts, which I can't relate to at all because I'm not a mommy nor will I ever be a mommy. It's a blog in every sense of the web journal definition.

I give it for being a decent read, having an organized and purdy template, and for giving me something to add to my spank bank (which would be the chick in the header, not the family photos you sicko's!). Oh! And feel better doll.
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Next up: The Kitty Kat Lounge. Well, this blog puts me in a sticky situation. If I berate the shit out of it I'll have Kitty all up on my shit screaming that I only did it because I'm pissed at her for making me do two reviews, and if I am too nice I'm going to have her yelling that I didn't have to be sweet as pie just 'cause the blog has her name in it. You women are fickle little creatures.

(Before she does actually call and verbally bitch smack me for painting her as some kind of psycho hose beast, I should probably say that Kitty wouldn't do either of those things. In theory. Should all her hormones be a in order and the stars align in total perfection. Yup. )

The template is pink. Very pink. (Are we seeing a theme here? Yes, I think these two blogs are yet another attack on my balls) The blog description, or at least the start of the word "sarcastic" kind of gets lost among one of the many pink flowers in the header. I know it's a freeware template, and I kind of have to ask: of all the templates in this world, why this one? It's not horrible, but it's not fantastic. To each their own I suppose. Outside of the "sarcastic" blunder, everything is spanktastic! Neat sidebar, not too long, rolled up archives. The only thing I can suggest (other than contacting Kitty for a new template design) is to center the shit under "Credits and Random Crap. "

Content time! Now, if I didn't know any better, I really would say that Ms. Aliecat and Ms Kitty Kat are the same person. Really, I would. Both have love issues, both are closet bitches, both are witty and humorous, both are perverted, and both are walking contradictions. Though one is a feminist democrat who's all over the death penalty, the other is a gun hating republican who thinks same sex marriages are constitutionally guaranteed. The only major difference is that one has me on bitch dial and can make me do two reviews, the other is just a hapless pawn in this torrid game of fellow reviewers sucking and not blowing me in the process dropping the proverbial ball almost habitually, now.

There's a reason Kitty has been my best friend and most favoritest person for over twenty-years, so this is a no brainer really.

Ms. Aliecat, for simply being you.

But you get a few 's for pink flowers and pink swirlies popping up in my mind every time I close my eyes. It's going to be a long subway ride, but the Patron should help.

I also give a to the people who have disappeared been slacking and have forced me to waste a chunk of my Tuesday doing two--TWO!--reviews.

Alright. There's a R train with my name on it. First round is on me! See you there!

18 comments:

  1. Ahhh...I knew I'd get my ass spanked about the pink, but the other free ones didn't jazz me or had those slutty toon girls, so I just picked this one. And thanks for the great review...I was a-skeered! I'd be happy to bitch dial you anytime, but I'll most likely be drunk when I do it.

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  2. Oh, and that thing about Sarcastic getting lost in the flower is bugging me too, I've just been too laz...er, busy to figure out how to fix it.

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  3. Purple though it may be.. I appreciate the review. I try to not be too mommy-overdone and be open about my life and shit.

    You rock. I loved the review. And the creator of the template liked the comments. Dont ask me about the view thing on the sidebar, I am as clueless are you are.

    Cheers!

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  4. OH DUH!! I forgot to mention.. the Under Construction stuff is my cross stitching projects that I do.. LOL I realize that you would have NO clue about it , but those that read me know what Im working on by the % of what is highlighted.

    MUAH.. thanx again!!

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  5. The view thing on the categories...

    I'm not a php coder and I went looking for codes to make both the category list and the monthly archive list into drop downs so that they didn't take over the world.

    They were all I could find, and well, I'm not a php coder and I might figure it out eventually, but I can't get the two to match without breaking them in the most spectacular manner.

    You probably didn't want to know all that, but there you go, there's your explanation, it'll either help you sleep tonight because you won't lie awake trying to figure out why why why, or it might just put you to sleep out of boredom.

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  6. Dude, there so are other perks to being on my bitch dial, like going vibrator shopping for your fucking girlfriend because you can't seem to walk into a sex shop without turning some ungodly shade of red. Oh! What now, bitch?!

    I happen to like the purple, and you're right. Aliecat and I are rather similar, huh? Interesting.

    I like both blogs. Arguably I'd like anything right now seeing as I've got another three hours of work to do before I can think about going home.

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  7. Kitty Kat- maybe we were separated at birth?

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  8. Oh! Purple! How I love it. Honestly, I really do love this template. So purpleriffic. And the content is nice, too. I'm going to Bloglines it.

    And Aliecat is a good one, too! It goes on Bloglines as well. And Aliecat, I think your blog deserves a better template. :)

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  9. It could very well be that we were seperated at birth. YAY! I have a twin!

    I can help with the template, if you want. I'm decent enough at the shit.

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  10. I'm with you Gypsy! I like the purple!

    GNVP is just too much of a chauvenistic ass. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go hide before he sits on me again.

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  11. I like the basic design of my template, but it is a lot of pink. I just don't know alot about html coding and all that jazz. I can send you the template if you want and you can look at it if you have time. Thanks!

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  12. Sure, not a problem. I have this sick affinity for doing css, html, and javascript shit.

    Plus, why do actual work when there's no real reason?!

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  13. Approval from the masses on my purpleness!! YAY! I am blessed!

    As for being bitchy and seperated at birth, Id vote ... very possibly.

    and GNP did a fair and honest review, based on HIS likes. I took it as a HUGE compliment, even if he doesnt like all aspects of it.

    Now... about that drop down thinger, I may have to talk to my designer to see if she and I can make it work. Ill pass the code along to her that GNP found and left for me on my blog

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  14. Kitty, I'll let ya know, first I'm going to do some more poking around the internets to see if I can find something a little less pink.

    Gypsy, thanks! Ill check ya out too!

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  15. I think Alie meant the flowers sarcastically, as in "I fucking hate flowers so much that I'm going to be all ironical about it and plaster my template with them." Right? She's just too cool, see.

    I like the flowers actually.

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  16. Sandra- hmmm...that's a good cover! I really just kind of like pink...but it's really a lot of pink...

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  17. Hey, if she likes the pink she likes the pink. If she likes the purple, she likes the purple. Who the fuck cares what some douche thinks? I'm a guy, and I've spent the better part of the last five years playing Mr. Mom to a girl, and I still can't deal with pink or purple that well.

    S'all about the personal preference, ladies.

    Glad you liked the review Theresa, my spank bank is glad too ;)

    Scared I might sit on you again, huh Kitty? It wasn't the sitting that was so bad, as the fumes from that chili dinner huh? I foresee a replay. Hoo-hah!

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  18. Oh god. Can we never bring up that entire situation again? I almost puked on my paperwork just thinking about it happening again.

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Grow a pair.