Monday, January 22, 2007

I Have A Case of The Mondays--Everyday.

Unlike Atomic Fireballs, I don't need a coin to tell me whether to bring on the venom or the tea party. I'm sure you all knew that.

But did you know that the new vaseline commercial containing all the hands in the screen is perhaps the most frightening thing I have ever seen?

Yea, think about that for a minute while I ask the powers that be what blog it is I'm supposed to be reviewing.

Alright! A Beautiful Mess is my victim, and guess what? I do mean victim. Is there a reason I get the blogs with the most hideous color schemes and background images imaginable?

No, seriously. Do you see that? The blue squares in the background that seriously have sent me on an acid flashback? Yea, it sure is a mess but there is nothing beautiful about that. Add in the orangey-red tone of the blog border and the hideous peach fuzz color of the background, and that is only righteously disgusting looking blog. No offense.

I'll say it once, and only once, so listen up Mrs. Kiristi: CHANGE THE ENTIRE FUCKING COLOR SCHEME YOU GOT GOING ON. Get rid oif that god aweful background, and if you want to keep the orange-red and the peach fuzz, then choose a background that MATCHES those two colors. You may be asking yourself: "Self! What is matching?," and I'm going to break it down for you. Matching is when things don't look absolutely hideous. Get it? Got it. Good.

Otherwise, everything looks okay. The side bar is well organized, not exceedingly long. I'd recommend making the header the same size as the blog/sidebar area. I'd also suggesting making the font stand out more. Not that brown on peach fuzz isn't a fantastically awesome combination, but it's not.

In other new, it's a mommy blog. What did we learn last week about mommy blogs, kids? I will say that this one, though not my cup of tea in the content arena due to it's lack of movie-like trainswreck stories, is well written, doesn't have any pictures of children on the post page, doesn't mention children in every single post, and actually has a few pictures of "Cock flavored soup mix."

Basically, I can completely understand why she has readers, and admire her ability to balance mommy and wife duty with being her own person and having, dare I say it, a personality. In fact, I'm adding her to my weekly reads.

Fuck it, I'll admit it she is a cool ass momma. Much like my own Momma [scary to think that there's a 53 year old version of me running around somewhere, isn't it?].

I give it for the content.

As for the template? Well, I give it a . Not that an acid flash back is a bad thing, afterall I did the acid on my own years ago, but it makes patent work a lot harder.


  1. Peach? PEACH???? I HATE fucking peach! You don't see khaki or SAND, as in beach, not peach? No, no, no, no, no, no peach. I was going for a seashore patriotic look, not rotten fruit. And what is wrong with my blue squares? If you were happy tripping on acid once, you could be happy tripping again, no?

    Alright, MAYBE since I am like totally flattered to be added to your weekly reads, I will think about changing the "ENITRE FUCKING COLOR SCHEME" so you don't trip outta control one day. Being responsible for something of that magnitude would make me sad. Now I just have to remember what confusing piece of shit HTML code needs to be reworked. You have just sent me on a bad trip, my dear.

    Thanks for the review, I think.

  2. A Beautiful Mess rocks out. The title is about as good as I've seen.

  3. Peach? It's sand. Please adjust your monitor.

  4. Sorry sweet cheeks. It's peach on my home laptop and my work computer.

  5. Kristi rocks! I don't see the peach thing going on. Looks like beige to me


Grow a pair.