Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Imagine my chagrin

So I pull up this blog to review it, and lo and behold, the blogger is approximately my age, perhaps a year or three older, and he lives in the town where I spent my sluttiest years.

Yikes. This is almost as bad as finding out that the love of my life, the guy I had to break up with senior year because he had a seemingly permanent case of the summer snow sniffles, has been browsing my classmates profile (he has).

Anyway, back to the hip suburban white guy (nice matrix imitation, btw).

I love this blog.

Well, I mean the template is SHYTE. Complete and utter shyte. It is my least favorite basic blogger template, HANDS DOWN, and that's even considering the pepto bismal pink and the pond scum green. And the way he has done his sidebar? THE WORST...EVER. Please, dude...I cannot have slept with a guy whose template is this hideous. Go to freshblog, IMMEDIATELY, and learn to do drop down sidebars. Clean up your header (put all that text aside from your title into your profile, for starters). And while you're at it, get a hip suburban template. Your content deserves it. As it is now, your ugly template makes you look like everyone else out there. And you're way too cool for that, yer dudeness. What I would recommend is a template that actually has easy buttons on the top or side, so you can put your disclaimer, manifesto, etc. behind a button. It would be much cleaner, and I (or probably any of the other ask folks) would be happy to help you do that.

Speaking of content, the content rocks. It totally, totally rocks. I almost hope I might have slept with him because, although he is missing all his hair and sports some wrinkles in places I don't have them yet, he is smart, funny, profane, and never takes himself too seriously. Exactly the kind of guy I prefer.

Go read him. You won't regret it. And if the template and sidebar were brought up to speed, this blog would be totally fuckable. In the purely verbal sense, of course. ;)

I give the content

And the template? I had to come up with something new that was bad enough to fit a template this crappy juxtaposed behind content this good, and I think I found it:

<Free Image Hosting at>


  1. I humbly prostate myself before you in gratitude for your kindness and your generosity.

    I will begin experiments immediately in my Top Secret Blog Lab and work on the changes you suggested.

    Oh, and being a life long slut myself, I have no doubt that we totally bumped uglies. Probably more than once.

    Was it good for you?

    Ciao, baby!

  2. I have changed. You may want to give me another visit. I believe I may have shed some unwanted suckage.


Grow a pair.