Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea

I can't fucking hear anything. Nothing. Not a thing. And for some reason I'm guessing that this is the price I pay for going to see my friend's band play live last night and lying to my girlfriend about it, because for some reason "I'm going to get a drink with Dipshit after work" is much more acceptable than "I'm going to go see Benny's band play at Blarney Star." So, because she's a nonsensical nitwit, I'm now deaf to anything but the high pitched ringing in my ears. Fun.

That, of course, has nothing to do with Neurotic in Ashburn other than the fact my girlfriend is also neurotic, she just prefer to be neuritic at the Caldwell building.

I do have to say I feel bad for Ashburnite. She had a 60% chance of getting one of our lovely female reviewers who would most likely appreciate her template, hell I think even Atomic Fireballs would be ammenable to her template. Unfortunately, she won that 20% chance of getting me, the hater of all things pepto bismal colored. That is the way the cookie crumbles, and unforunately, that's the way shit is going to go down in this here review.

GOOD FUCKING LORD WOMAN! Is adding another color to your blog that hard? Is it way too painful? Are you the primary shareholder for pepto bismal? Would it kill you to add at least a background color that isn't pepto pink? The header is cute, the description is pithy, the sidebar is pretty well organized, her profile picture makes my dick twitch, but the pink makes me want to run for the sake of all things having to do with my balls not ascending.

She writes pretty well, minus her spelling of the word "chode" in the possibly inocrrect and seldom used "choad. The content isn't horrible, but it's not the train wreck that Kitty, Bitter Mistress, and Love Bites usually pounce on. I have to say I enjoy the train wrecks too. Not that what she writes about is bad, and it surely would get her bookmarked for a weekly look, but I, like my lovely leading ladies, like to see a whole lot more of the blogger exposed. I want to see the human condition finding existence on my laptop screen, or I at least want to be reading something so outlandish I laugh my ass off. This doesn't really fulfill either of them.

Thus, I give it for pretty much everything, in particular the profile pick that made my dick twitch.

You also get a for that pepto bismal pink color that you seem to love, and that has caused my manhood to question it's existence. It hurts.


  1. I read her almost daily and I like her, although the pink is a little much. I must say, as a regular reader, she hasn't had much time over the holidays to blog. Anyways, I like her blog, that's all I can say about that!

  2. I don't mind her writing at all, but I hate the bright pink background behind the black words. VERY HARD TO READ. And yes, I realize I'm older than fuck (and soon to be even older), but please...put either a paler shade of pink or somewhite behind the text...PUHLEEZE.

    I'd probably have given her 3 stars.

  3. I'm not the biggest pink fan. Being the resident grammar/spelling asshole, she needs to spellcheck once in awhile, at least on the top post.

    Other than that, yeah, it's not too bad. She has a future in semi-erotic photography, too.

  4. I think I vomitted in my mouth a little with all that fucking pink.

    Otherwise, not bad. I'm with you GNVP-she needs to put more personality in it.

  5. I think the picture is of Marilyn Monroe, but I may be wrong.

    And I liked the sugar daddy post...now I know how I'll be spending my afternoon.

  6. Thanks for the review! It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I knew no one would like the color, but I've been working on that. I used to reveal a lot more about myself, but after the psychotic "chode" in question (sorry, Blogger didn't pick up on that misspelling) decided that he was going to "burry" me (his misspelling, not mine), I scaled way back on the personal stuff. As soon as the psycho stops harrassing me I'll post more personal stuff.

    Oh, and the picture is actually a copy of the Marilyn photo. I look a lot like her, so a photographer friend and I decided to re-create that photo. Some of the details are a little off, like the graininess and a few differences in the hair and positioning, but I guess it's close enough that people mistake it for her photo.


Grow a pair.