Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Goodie! More fucking mommybloggers

So, today, I'm reviewing another mommyblogger. Oh, she'll probably protest, and say that just because she drops the f-bomb occasionally or writes a post about her husband once in a while, she isn't one.

But 90% of her posts involve her child. This obsession with the "mommy self" to the exclusion of all else is the EPITOMY of mommy-blogging. Please, can't ya'll just join club mom and leave the rest of us alone? Please, can't you develop a fucking identity outside of your child? Read a fucking book once in a while. Get politically active. At the very least, DRINK MORE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES.

Okay, so the review...

Contentwise...you lost me at the first post.

I have serious decisions to make this week, i.e., which of the delicious 30-something men who wants to fuck me should become my next sexual bitch. Why on earth would I find your inability to discipline your child interesting?

I've been through the terrible twos with my own kids. It sucked ass. But I didn't fucking spew my misery all over the internet. I sucked it up, disciplined my kids, went to work, cooked dinners, and worked like a fucking mule without whining constantly about it. I didn't fucking have time for this self-indulgent infant navel-gazing.

I'm sure "the poo" is adorable. To you.

But, hearing about your inability to manage your child's behavior, to the point that no one else wants to spend a day with you in Disneyworld...THAT, I don't enjoy hearing about.

A personal note to this blogger:

As one mom to another mom, a word of advice. You have got to start setting boundaries for the poo. She NEEDS those boundaries. She is testing you to determine where those boundaries are. She needs to know that the structure of her life is solid and unmovable and trustworthy. If you don't give her those boundaries, and make them consistent and real for her, you are creating a scenario in which the poo is going to have problems all of her life.

Professionally, i work with the after-effects of no-boundaries toddlers in the teenage years. I highly recommend Cline and Faye's "Parenting With Love and Logic." Buy it. Read it. Live it.

Your child NEEDS you to step up and socialize her properly. Shoving cookies in her face because you don't want to deal with another temper tantrum is teaching her that there is a reward for acting badly. You are creating a hellion who is going to make your life (and her own) miserable. I don't say this to kick you while you are down, but because you need to realize there are serious, longterm ramifications to your failure to set and enforce these boundaries with your child. Reading your blog was literally painful because I know exactly where the poo is headed if you don't grow some cojones and start being the adult in the household who is in control of her life. And trust me...you do not want the poo ending up on my caseload.


Template: WAAAAAYYYY too much stupid busy shit in the sidebar. I do like a white background, but the spacing for the main column is screwed up on IE, pushing the right sidebar down to the bottom of the page.

Mommybloggers of the world...please, for the love of god, stop child-navel-gazing. As a general rule, post about your darling only one post in every 4-5 posts. Force yourself to reach outside the insular world of your child's life, develop some other interests (for the love of god, NOT scrapbooking), and think about something new. Read books that expand your mind, keep up with world events, get involved in something that can make a difference. Believe it or not, your child will actually benefit from learning, at an early age, that she is not the center of the known universe.

That is all. Oh, and a flaming finger for good measure.

p.s. why can't more mommybloggers be like Kristi? (aka: people I would drink with?)

12 comments:

  1. I hate to say this, but I think we're going to have to turn on the ol' "type in a crazy series of letters so we don't get spammed" dealio. Goddam spammers.

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  2. yeah they suck don't they?

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  3. Or, we can just delete the lovely spam. I hate trying to figure out what letter is what, and the fonts they choose are fucking insane.

    Now, did this mommmy actually give her child the codename "Poo?" I thought my parents were harsh by calling me their little hedgehog [in Hebrew, not English by the way.] because I refuse to open up to anyone, but I now know they could have called me "Shit." I mean she could have at least called her "Pooh" or something, right? But, I'm glad she's not goin to tolerate Poo's little attitude, and I'm glad I know that. I may now die happy.

    Unfortunately not everyone can be as awesome as Kristi, let alone all the mommy bloggers out there. *sigh* Sad, sad, sad.

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  4. OH! and way to IM me and then sign off right before I sat in front of my computer, Balls! WAY TO GO!

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  5. Now, you know I'm biased toward all the mama bloggers of the world, right? That being said, reading mommy blogs is an acquired taste. Most mamas don't find the need to write about other stuff because being mamas is what connects them to their readers. Like political bloggers aren't going to waste time writing about their knitting or secret Nascar driving aspirations...they're writing for a political audience.

    Some of us want a wider audience. Elaine and I do. Some of us are more interested in building up a like-minded community, and couldn't care less if people are bored with our baby stories. I fall in that category every now and then as well.

    That being said, I like Chicken and Cheese. She's good at what she does. So is Drama Mama, Minivan Mafia and a few other bloggers I frequent. I enjoy reading their stuff. I'm kooky like that.

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  6. PS - I'd probably drink with Hitler if the situation was right. I'm really not picky when it's time to get my chardonnay on.

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  7. I wrote about my kids today...ones raised with discipline, boundaries, and love if not always endless patience. Believe me...it would have been way easier giving in, but then, I wouldn't be doing my freakin' job.

    I've been reading a long time--had a review and survived.

    This is true public service and about the kindest thing I've heard here, though truly, ya'll ain't as bad ass as you might think. I hope she listens.

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  8. Ixnay on the Hitler-Ay in the presence of the Jews--me and GNVP.

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  9. Strike that. Reverse it. I'd have a drink with GW if the circumstances were right.

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  10. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ...

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  11. It's so trendy to hate on the GW.

    BUT! I shall spare this blog of the political mumbo jumbo I so desperately despise!

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  12. I know I asked for it, but wow, this was mean.

    My kid has boundaries, trust me. Judge my blog, yes. But judging my parenting from one post, written in a moment of total frustration?

    Walk a mile in my shoes, yo.

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Grow a pair.