Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Two Of Hearts-Come On! Come On!

It's catch up week here at Ask and Ye Shall Receive. The way we do things around here is similar to the way homework assignments are done in university: You get a list of all your assignments for each week, and you refuse to do them. Only major difference is that we are actually obligated to do our assignments. So? Consider this week that week before finals where you do an entire semester's worth of shit in a matter of sleep deprived days, except it's only like that for us and not you.

Oh, and what the shit is with everyone going comment crazy whenever GNVP posts, and not for anyone else? I realize he's a sexy biatch, and I realize I'm playing the part of jealous hating bitch, especially in light of him kicking my ass at online trivial pursuit this morning, but there are some things that make you go "Hmmmm" and that, as well as the popularity of that C&C Music Factory song, is one of them.

So, yea-reviews. Last week we prayed for Atomic Fireballs' sanity, today we are interrupting all sanity with, surprise surprise, Sanity, Interrupted. I will say that watching that bitch dance has seriously fucked with my sanity and the ability of my eyes to stay in focus.

I will also say that this blog had me at it's little letters of love to none other than my uber guilty and dark secret-America's Next Top Model. That show is a skeleton in every woman's closet because, despite how much we all deny it, we all wish we were gorgeous models and we all secretly delight in how plain and not extraordinary the girls on this show are until an entire staff of make-up and hair artists get their hands on them. Add a touch of airbrushing, and we simple, plain looking women all marvel at how gorgeous they look in their photo all the while resting assured that with all that bullshit done to us, we too would look FIERCE!

Total aside--I find it hilarious that all the girls look down on Natasha for having a 40 year old husband when every other bitch in that house is a gold digging whore. It's just the fact they're American and gold dig old American dudes that makes it okay for them to look down on the Russian broad who's gold digging on their territory. Oh, and I swear I'm going to hunt Jaslene down and kill that bitch--whenever she talks I can feel my blood pressure and anger rising. It's something about the combination of horrid Latina accent, ugly broad, and transsexual aura, I think. Someday I'll send in a video for that show, and you all will cheer me on!


It's not just the mutual ANTM love that rocks about this blog. This blog's content rocks enough that I'm willing to not just overlook the orange sherbet background color, but I don't even feel the need to vomit every time I see that orange sherbet background and that is saying A LOT. She's just fucking cool. There's no other way to explain it. How can you not love someone who writes "*re-applying chapstick* ass kissing makes my lips ever so dry" period, let alone while talking about auditioning for "Deal or No Deal." She's snarky, she's witty, she's pithy, and she writes fantastically and captivating-ly well. Be sure to watch the YouTube video posted on April 6th to witness the transformation of a young boy into a flaming homosexual with the use of nothing more than a Beyonce song and dancing.

And a word to all you mommy-bloggers out there, she too is a mother. So, we don't hate mothers who blog, we hate mothers who blog solely about being a mommy.


You also get a for the Google ads. I may be able to overlook the orangcicle hues, but some things are too much to simply turn a blind eye to. YOU KNOW BETTER!


  1. I love, love, love ANTM. I don't know why, I just DO. I love the pictures, especially.

    I don't mind this blog, at all, except for the color behind the text (argh).

  2. Agreed.

    But it motivated me to go get an Orange Julius.

  3. Gah, got me on the ANTM as well.. hubby thinks I'm nuts. But then, I watch Beauty and the Geek too. I think I'm just a sucker for bad TV.

  4. I loves Elaine. She's my sistah from another mutha. Great review.

  5. Work is a serious bitch right now, but I promise to post tomorrow. And frankly, with the mood I'm in, the blog better be really fucking good...I'm just sayin'

  6. The orange vomit background reminds me of college and the bathroom floor in Tijuana, Mexico.

    So it stays.
    I'm quite the sentimental sap.

    But the google ads..(head down)...I'll take them down.. I'm going to miss my 2 cents a day though. (sniff)

    Thanks for the great review guys. I officially fucking love you too. ;P


Grow a pair.