Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Vomiting Out Of My Ass. Literally.

What's worse than breaking up with your girlfriend, getting back together with your girlfriend, breaking up with your girlfriend yet again, getting back together with your girlfriend one more time for good measure, and having to spend the weekend with a guy who has the most noxious gas I ever had the displeasure of smelling? Going to Vietnam and nearly shitting out your fucking colon! I do, however, now have much more compassion for you women who have to endure the dutch oven nightly. I really do.

Lunatic Biker on the other hand will not only dutch oven you, but he'll make sure your head is right next to his ass under the blankets when he does it. I almost feel like Lunatic Biker and I have known each other in a past life. I say almost, because whenever one of the dude's passes out drunk we do much more to him than stand on him and take a picture. Think Garden State, just make the penises much more large and in charge.

Template is the totally shit-tastic blue blogger template. I know I can't hate on someone for using the given template, but christ does Blogger need some template revamping. Things are so neat and so organized, wooooo-hah!

I would go look through his other posts, but I'm afraid I've been off the toilet for more than twenty minutes and it's time for my ass to explode in rapid machine gun fire style thanks to the wonderful food and water available here in Vietnam. It's a sick sad world when the water purification tablets don't even save you from the shit crawling in the water.

I give it for not being a girly as fuck blog, a mommy blog, and actually being rather testosterone laden. God bless ye! Oh, and hope your mom is okay.


  1. Awwwww. Someones ass is exploding.


  2. Hey, I'll have you know that I've seen his ass on HNT (I think), and it's a damn fine ass.

    Poor GNVP.

  3. And, about the blog...I have to say I dig it, but maybe that's just because I'm a soccer mom. ;)

  4. I like it...it's weird...plus he's from the same town as me...definitely a plus...

  5. Perhaps it's my turn to be the monkey in the wrench, but I think it's dumb. No template, and it barely makes sense.

    Oh well. To each his/her own, right?

  6. It must of been the life where I was the Vegas hooker and you were my pimp.

  7. It sounds like you have dysentery. I had it twice; first time in Burma and second time in Syria.(I shat and puked my way across 4 continents in less then 48 hours the second time). Get yourself some metronidazole; they probably sell it over the counter in Vietnam like they do in Thailand.
    Trust me, it's not something you want to have twice. Good luck, and soon you'll have more energy to do things other than pray for death.

  8. Do I ever love the piss out of my blog being described as not making sense. If you knew what went on in my head you'd run away and enter the witness protection program. The template blows because my computer skills are severely limited. Of course it's fucking dumb. Ha ha 200 hits a day. Shows how starved the world is for entertainment. Thanks, now stay out of my way when I'm out on my bike.


Grow a pair.