Monday, June 18, 2007

I Suck Something Fierce!

What's worse than being a lawyer? Having to spend a week with a bunch of other lawyers while you do re-certification and learning bullshit. It. Is. Pure. Hell.

Once you take a look at this blog you'll understand why I just stayed as far away as possible from it while surrounded by such "good-mood" conducive conditions.

Once in a while you find a blog that is the bomb diggity, and Feeling Pink just ain't it. Why you ask? Well besides the template being the most horrendously cluttered mess I've seen in blogland thus far, I feel like I'm looking into the diary of some thirteen year old pre-pubescent little girl. In her defense, she's a Malaysian living in Egypt, but in my defense this blog is a train wreck and I'm not sure what tragic thing I did to make my karma warrant the shitty experience of reviewing her.

I give her a , and am now promptly moving on.

Spandex and Hairspray. It sounds so promising doesn't it? I mean it's a blog about coming of age in the eighties, and who doesn't love anything having to do with the 80's? The problem is it's a memoir, and when you finally scroll down long enough to find the end of the first post, let me know will you? CHRIST! Is that post fucking long enough? It's the third installment in what should have been a fifty-two part series.

I digress. The template is decent. Could be a lot more outrageously 80's, but at least it's not the horror of the above reviewed blog, right? Sidebar is organized and neat, and I do have to give her props for actually tweaking a blogger standard edition craptastic template into something that isn't more horrendous than the original and/or screaming for help. Widgets blow. Mark my words. But, I realize most people are too pussy to convert to the old blogger template, so, kudos to you Pimpstress Teresa. Well implemented, well implemented indeed. A word of advice, though. If you insist on having insanely long posts, which you seem to, make your blog area wider. People are less daunted by width than by length, and let me tell you I scrolled down your blog as a preliminary run through and I rolled my eyes, groaned, and cursed my fellow verbose bitches for insisting on not learning the essence of paraphrasing.

Now, back to content. She has two blogs: one for her memories and one for reflections on her current life. That's a whole hell of a lot of musing. Moreover, that's a shit ton of living in your own head. I'm all over introspection, but Christ on a bicycle! Sometimes it goes from being thought provoking and warranting of a reader's own introspection to being whiny bitching that indicates you're just stuck in some kind of dimension that you can't get out of. Just go with me on this dimension thing, I assure you I've been there before and I assure you that you're stick in this alternate world you've created and you can't seem to get out of. Trust me.


I don't know this woman in real life, but based on these two blogs I think it's time to pack up the reflection, introspection, and re-living of memories, and start living in the now. No offense, of course, but it just seems you're holding onto things that are a bit inconsequential to the now. That should be fifty-two week series on Scott could have been a single longer but-not-so-long-it's-scary post if you left out all some of the details. Nostalgia is great, but it seems you're bordering on remorse. Once again, no offense.

I give it .

And just 'cause it cracks me up:


  1. Where's all the snappy repartee?

    I'm so disappointed...

    Would it help if I were able to produce a dildo-helmet, no questions asked?

  2. Scratch that; questions were asked.


Grow a pair.