Sunday, June 03, 2007

Shenanigans and Monkeyshines

I've been in a SHITTY mood lately. I mean downright pissed off. I missed this review deadline by two days because I really couldn't bring myself to trash this. I may come off like a total prick here, and if so, well, you submitted, and I'm sure your cronies will all say "What a dick that guy is! He doesn't get how cool you are AT ALL!". I may even provoke a response from you, I don't know.

Where do we start? The title. "Asara's Mental Meanderings". Really? Seriously? That's the best you could come up with? Random thoughts. Musings. Ramblings. JUST STOP ALREADY. No one, and I mean NO ONE, truly cares about your random thoughts or mental meanderings. Put away the thesaurus and come up with something original. This isn't only directed at you, by the way, it's directed at EVERYONE who thinks they are clever with these cutesy titles. JUST STOP IT. STOP. IT.

The template is really pedestrian and quite plain, with no title splash or header image. The sidebar has an image, which I guess is supposed to indicate what this is, but the fucking sidebar is so cluttered with shit, it's almost impossible to tell. Why a chat box? You can't get enough of your friends through comments? Those chatboxes are basically spyware/adware laden anyway. So thanks for putting my MacAfee through it's paces, really. Rent My Blog, Blogshares, some other shitty blog review site button (hey, we're the only ones left in business these days, or so it would seem). Blog of the day award. What the hell is all this?

The posts are meaningless. Meme's. Buttons advertising Fairy Day. Thursday Thirteen. Is there one original, thought-provoking post on this blog? I can't see any on the main page, although the thought at the end of the post with the picture of a kid with the soldier was the only thing close to moving me. Other than that, this blog flat sucks ass. I don't care that she's a Mommy. She could be motherfucking Anne Rice and this blog would still suck balls.

My recommendations. Get a new template. Re-title this blog immediately to ANYTHING not containing meanderings, ramblings, musings, etc. It's trite and stupid. In your new template, show your new title. Lose the 50 billion buttons, or find a way to roll them up so that if people actually want to see all you support, they have the option of clicking on the button to see said causes. Roll up your links. Start actually writing in your posts. Show something of yourself and your creativity. Thursday Thirteen is an easy way to post pad, but ultimately useless. If you must continue blogging, become more than you are, because quite frankly, this thing is a fucking horror show. Hate to be so blunt, but you asked for it.


  1. Why the shite mood? My blog is way better than that poor excuse for ejaculate.

  2. Fairy Day? A list of all THIRTEEN of her role-playing characters, all of whom have some kind of druid/warlock/Stevie Nicks vibe going on? Is she eleven?

    You were kind.

  3. This is a sad state of affairs in blogland. It's good we have you to set things straight.

  4. No problem.
    I appreciate your thoughts and honesty. You should have seen my blog when it was purple.

    I never claimed to be cool, and I never claimed to have anything important to say. There are a few honest "me" posts in there, like this one and this one, but I understand if you hated my blog enough to not want to brave more than the first page.

    I apologize for wasting your time.

  5. Hey hey hey now!

    You did not waste his or our time--afterall, this is a blog review site and to review we need blogs. Unfortunately, not all blogs are our cups of tea. It doesn't mean you don't belong in blog land, nor does it mean that you're crap. Let us not forget that a blog is subjective and the construct of an individual who uses that blog for whatever purpose they see fit. If you like your blog, then that's enough to validate your blog existence.

    We just offer our opinion for fun. That's all.

    [Sorry if that makes no sense, I'm seriously shaking from the lack of caffine I've had this morning.]

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Grow a pair.