Suckered, Doggy-Style

Let it be said up front that I love dogs; I love dogs like ears love music, like scabs love itching, like cheeseburgers love camping-out in your colon. I have dogs and I love them, and if you have dogs, I love them too.

Now that this is out in the open, take a walk on over to Why Are You Stalking Me? and read what I just read.

This woman could be writing a to-do list that includes murdering handicapped-children & setting fires to abortion-clinics, and all I would be seeing in my mind’s eye is that picture of her sweet, recently-deceased dog looking soulfully into my eyes.

Fortunately, she is writing about none of the horrible things mentioned above...in fact, the writing itself is not bad in general - I‘ll call it "Borat Writing": interesting enough to read once, probably not much fun on the re-read.

I don’t know if the template is blue and filthy with snowflakes because it’s the holiday season, but I’ll just go ahead and assume so; otherwise, yikes. The "about me" section mirthlessly states that the author’s name "doesn’t matter", but then, with mirth aplenty, that her husband is a "fickle bitch"...a phrase which I would like to test-fire, even once, as a description of my girlfriend just to see how many cyber-punches in the face I’d receive. There are little link-type-dealies that update the uninitiated when moused-over: "10" is revealed to be "ten year old daughter", "I write this a lot but I never say it" is what, annoyingly, pops up to explain "AnyWay", and "The Man" proves to be her "husband of 211 years", which is a really long time to only have eight- and ten-year-old daughters + a blogroll the size of a surfboard to show for it...but I digress.

I deplore seeing "WTF" anywhere, at any time (is it really that time-consuming to just type "what the fuck"?), but she one-ups me by having the link from the acronym say exactly that: what the fuck. I actually laughed out loud at that, and that’s something...especially considering that I keep seeing her fucking dog when I close my eyes.

I was really looking for something to beat into the ground for my first AAYSR foray, and I’m on the fringe with the omnipresent "BlogHer" link, what look to be hieroglyphics peppered throughout her posts, and title-fonts that require some sort of decoder-ring (see this for proof; it looks as though she had a strange dream before she took the LSD, which is odd), but even if I discount the fact that that one picture of her puppy has me hugging my dogs like they’ve got cancer, I still can’t tear into this woman’s writing: it’s fairly solid. The content isn’t to my taste, even remotely, but I’m almost positive that it isn’t geared towards me, either.

I shall declare this blog "boring with extenuating circumstances", one of those circumstances being a sucker of a dog-lover as a reviewer.