Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Baby mix me a drink

The day they handed out the baby cravings, I was probably skipping class, smoking dope, and steaming up windows in my boyfriend's car. I'll be 33 this year, and aside from those youthful generalized 13-year-old expectations of motherhood, where it just seemed obvious that I would have kids--as it seemed obvious I'd have a fleet of nannies and the excessive funds to pay them--I've never wanted kids. I'm selfish, messy, and irresponsible, and though I enjoy children in small doses, they mostly scare the everloving shit out of me.

So, it isn't any wonder I don't get mommy blogs. It's not so much that I don't like them--although most of them I don't (Blogs full of sunshine and cuteness and rainbows and PINK! and holier than thou platitudes about the end all be all of motherhood, I'm looking at you. And I'm making a rude gesture.)--it's just there's a serious disconnect in terms of life experience. For me, searching for a baby shower gift is like that dream where you're late for an exam you haven't studied for. And you're naked. And maybe on fire.

Imagine, then, the whine and sneer I emitted at seeing my blog to review today is, indeed, a mommy blog.

But wait! What's this? A nice design, a cool title, and the very first post, right up there at the top, brimming with snarkitude.

Yes, folks, it's that rare breed of mommy blog: one I'd read.

The design is pleasant, elegant, easy to read, and organized. Look, y'all! The shiny things and clutter are all collapsed in the sidebar so we don't have to see them if we don't want to. I'd suggest rolling up the archives into a drop down box with the individual months accessible from there, but other than that, excellent design.

And even better? Jayna knows exactly how to use a comma. I mean, exactly. Do you know how rare this is? For my editor's eyes, it's a treat to see a post with appropriate paragraph separation instead of huge blocks of text, proper capitalization instead of cutesy chat-speak, correct use of punctuation instead of a complete unawareness of the mere existence of a semi-colon, and holy lord she knows the difference between "its" and "it's."

This is a well-written blog, and Jayna is funny and has a wry sense of humor with enough sarcasm to satisfy my jaded sensibilities. And she's a mother with a realistic and human view of her situation and her child, without gumdrops and jasmine-scented poop and Stepford wife-like aspirations toward a smudge-free existence.

But what really gets me about this blog, as a woman who is so attached to her fiance (sometimes desperately so), I recognize the heartbreaking reality of being without that person who you turn to for support and laughter and love and common ground. But being without them for over a year? And while caring for a new baby? It isn't to be borne.

So, Jayna, well done. And chin up. Hug this little precious close and hang on tight.


  1. I like this blog, and I loved your review. :)

  2. Why is hardly anyone commenting on this EXCELLENT REVIEW AND GOOD BLOG???

    WTF, people.

    Talk. Or I'll bite you.

  3. Whoa!

    (By the way, that's a Keanu Reeves "whoa", and not a WHOA "whoa"...and now I've written "whoa" so many times that it looks wrong.)

    I tried to access this site yesterday and it gave my computer a tummy-ache (read: wouldn't load without problems).

    Calamity's reviews are fucking rad - that's why I'm crushing on her - but you don't just tell the girl you like you're crushing; you're supposed to, like, punch her in the shoulder or something, right?

    Or is that why I got in so much grade-school trouble?

  4. Are you sure it's not more of a Joey Lawrence "whoa"?

    Aw, now I'm blushing. Or I would be if I could. I'm virtually blushing.

  5. I was going for "cyber-blushing", but a virtual blush is better than a slap in the face...believe me.


Grow a pair.