Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Canada is the New Black

Confession time: I hate sugared cereals (well, except for Frosted Mini Wheats) and am lactose intolerant. If given the choice between a bran muffin and a gigantic bowl of Fruit Loops, I’d choose the bran muffin every time. There’s just something unnatural about eating that much sugar before 10 in the A.M.

Which is why I was leery when I was assigned “The Surprise in My Cereal Box.” I was afraid I was going to have to review one of those “theme blogs” where the author reviews kids cereals and obsessively collects the prizes at the bottom of the box (BTW, are those even offered anymore?). I instantly relaxed when I noticed the author, Sugar Smacks, is from Toronto. For some reason, I really really love Toronto blogs. They’re usually really well written (or so crazy-cool that you can’t help but love them) and often full of pictures of hip concerts and beautiful Canadian boys with manicured beards and cute glasses. As a matter of fact, there isn’t one Toronto-based blog that I don’t like, and this blog is no exception.

Even though I wish Miss Sugar would post more pictures (because she’s so damn cute), her writing style is exactly what I like about the blogosphere (gawd, I can’t believe I used that word). She writes without being too serious or like she’s trying too hard. She writes in a janky, fast, easy style that seems similar to how she talks (or how I would think she would talk). She uses funny little metaphors, slang, and plenty of swears that transport you into her mind. This is actually one of the few new blogs that I’ve come across in my time as a reviewer that I read EVERY SINGLE POST from the present day to the first day she began blogging. I never do that. Not even with the blogs that I’ve been following for 2 years. As a matter of fact, I loved this blog so fucking much that I’ve decided the only way one can become a better blogger is to move to Toronto. Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200, just get on a fucking plane and become a Canadian (especially now with the exchange rate).

I give it a rare double because what else is there to say, other than “will you be my best friend and sponsor my citizenship?”


  1. OK, anybody who has a tag label "am I Italian? I hope so." is all right by me.


  2. I like this blog, too. ALOT. I was excited that she submitted for review.

  3. Bitter Mistress, I read your review and the first thing I thought, selfishly, was “oh my GOD, now I have to write something back, what'll I do?!” as in what could I say to this totally surprising review - it is quite the embarrassment of riches. I mean every post I write, I have anxiety before clicking “Publish” and neurosis after clicking “Publish.” Pressing "submit" to your review mercy was an act tinged with fatalism. I was expecting - almost hoping - to be torn apart (not that I would want to "top from the bottom" though, of course).

    A DOUBLE “I Fucking Love You”? I’m happily stunned.

    And on behalf of Torontonian bloggers: we fucking love you, Bitter Mistress, for being willing to go the distance to be with us.

    Although it is recently a lot more difficult to get work visas in Canada, the marriage deal is still done on the not-so-down-low. So if mine is a “blog you want to marry,” Bitter Mistress, let’s talk…;}

    I recently got exposed to a zillion Canadian blogs, many from Toronto, when I joined a Canadian blogging group, and I think you’re right, Bitter Mistress, about bloggers from Toronto, though I have no idea why there's a consistency of quality there.

    Thanks a gazillion for taking the time to read my posts.

    I'm going to go be giddy now, and do my giddy dance throughout my apartment...



Grow a pair.