Monday, April 07, 2008

Another Man's Opinion


It’s confession time, folks.

[deep breath]

My name is Nutjobber, and I am a Canadian.

I know, I know; don’t feel too badly for me - I’ve long ago accepted my Candianism, and for those who’ve had their blogs reviewed by me, just know that I did so as Americanly as possible.

The impetus for this revelation is the subject of today’s review, The Foothills Opinion Post, a distinctly American-themed blog brimming with extremely American subject-matter.

Did you want to know more about 9/11? Well, there’s a two-part series of fresh information right on the front page...well, not fresh information, really. More "regurgitated and opined-upon" information; it’s the kind of information that is qualified with the phrase "butt hurt", as in "Now, before you get all butt hurt and think I’m siding with the terrorists calm down." This is followed by, "I most certainly am not!"

Clearly, we know where this man stands.

Yes, everyone’s entitled to their opinions, and I couldn’t give a shit one way or the other whether you’re with or against "the terrorists" when I’m reviewing your blog; what bothers me is the following:

1) Unless starting a sentence, the following words need not be capitalized: "motorcycle", "hospital", "high school", "mother", "black", "city". These are excessively unnecessary, and, in fact, act as multiple speed-bumps when driving over the text of one’s post.

2) Inexplicable italics make it seem as though there’s a director’s-commentary going on within the post itself. I understand that sometimes one wants to make a point, and using italics is a fabulous way to do so; however, when every second paragraph is followed by an italicized-phrase, it lessens the effect entirely, and, in fact, makes the writing seem like breathless reporting. If one were giving us "the scoop" like old-timey entertainment-journalists, fine; if not, well, it’s quite painful.

3) The title against the tree-heavy background of the header hurts my eyes.

Oh, did I mention that the author’s wife saved him from AIDS? No? Here, you read about it. The logic, I guess, is that since the timing of his union with his wife coincided with the beginning of the AIDS outbreak, and since he’d been trying to wear-out his sexometer like a sixties/seventies super-stud, well, thank fuck he met his wife when he did!

Hey, look: it’s sweet that he loves his wife, truly, but I nearly had a stroke laughing at the incongruity of the AIDS-thing with his wife being a hero; it’s like me saying that my girlfriend saved me from getting crushed by my house collapsing because it did so while I was picking her up from work. That’s more of a coincidental thing, isn’t it?

Whatever the semantics, I know this guy means well; I just don’t have any desire to read his blog. Sure, there are some writing issues to deal with, but if you DID want to read more about 9/11, or how Karl Rove’s totally fucking with the Democratic party, then this might be your bag.

It’s not mine...then again, I am Canadian, aren‘t I?

30 comments:

  1. I'm AMERICAN and this isn't my bag. I can only wonder why a political blog even submitted here, but you did a great job reviewing.

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  2. Also, self-proclaimed renaissance men usually aren't. Just my take on it.

    Now, I'm going to sit back and wait for the whining to begin.

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  3. I'm kind of expecting a wave of shit, but who knows?

    MWAH!

    [kiss before the wave hits]

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  4. ;) me love you long time.

    Seriously, though. No sex. No gratuitous nudity. Long ass posts about politics. No drunken stories. No details about his previous bare-backed sex. Bah.

    zzzzzzzz.

    I post and help to moderate a political forum, but seriously? You want US to review this shit? Ummm....

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  5. Seems like a bad match, doesn't it?

    Fuck, between you and Calamity, I'd write a porn-script on my blog before submitting here...

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  6. [singing] Blame Canada!!!

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  7. It is an endless point of pride that South Park keeps picking on Canada; the only travesty is that the Oscars had fucking Robin Williams sing that song at the awards...I mean, come on.

    Robin Williams?

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  8. You guys (and girls, sorry, not being sexist here) are amazing. Truly.

    I mean you slog your way through boring posts to give a really fair review of blogs that I just look at and say "meh" without even reading beyond the first paragraph. Because really, why would I voluntarily waste that much of my life?

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  9. Listen, Canuckistan is not that bad. Seriously.

    There are some hot-ass guys up there, at the least.

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  10. I know, Lara. And seriously, THERE WEREN'T EVEN BOOBIES. I don't, for the life of me, know how Jobber did it.

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  11. Commitment, ladies.

    The more I read, the more ammo I have; I'm not going to lie, however, and pretend that a nice bever-shot right in the middle wouldn't have been a sight for sore eyes...

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  12. Oh, and for the record, hot-ass Canuckians love us some Yankee-broads.

    Rowr.

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  13. Nutjobber, thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I believe you didn't care for it, though it's hard to tell by your subtle remarks.

    I appreciate your taking the time to critique the Blog's look, my style and of course the content.

    I will make the changes you advised about Italics. It's a pain in the ass to do anyway.

    Also I will cool it on the capitalization of words not beginning a sentence.

    I agree as well about the title page and have changed it numerous times to make it personal yet readable. I will continue my quest to achieve my goal.

    I guess you had to be there in the 60s to understand why I believe my wife saved me. I get if from your review you weren't.

    I am thankful as well that you were saved by your girlfriend but sad to hear about your house.

    Do they have carpenters in Canada?

    As to my asking you to review a Political Blog; it's simple. You only get better from honest criticism and that's what you guys and girls here deliver.

    I am a fan of your site and am learning from your reviews the dos and don'ts of blogging.

    Thanks again,

    Rich

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  14. How can anybody be that nice?

    I don't think I've ever said this unironically before, but, um, you're welcome?

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  15. Know what? I give Rich a great big "I Fucking Love You" for taking it so very, very well.

    Best of luck to you on your revisions, Rich.

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  16. Also, and I guess I should've worded this better, my house didn't ACTUALLY collapse; it was just an example off the top of my head.

    Either way, thank you for your concern, Rich.

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  17. This may be the classiest guy we've ever reviewed. Hands down. Although George and Avitable did give him a run for his money.

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  18. So, if you're in Canada, does that mean that beaver shots are furry? because you know it's cold as fuck up there. And beavers would get cold, I'd presume. Without fur, I mean. Doncha know.

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  19. You haven't heard our slogan?

    "Canada: Home of the Fuzzy Beaver"

    I'll tell you, tourism SPIKED when we introduced that baby!

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  20. Perhaps at some point in the future I'll post the story of my love affair with the Woman Marine and Canadian Lesbian 1n 1970.

    It will have to be at one of my personal blogs and not the political one.

    Rich

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  21. Dude, THAT'S what I'm talking about!

    Or, sorry, "aboot".

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  22. Not to say I like the reviewed site, but Black & White are both capitalized when referring to social groups now, according to APA & others.

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  23. Fair enough...except that only "black" was capitalized, as far as I could tell.

    Also, that stipulation seems kinda strange: does EITHER need to be capitalized?

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  24. I think it's awesome that he took it the way that he did. That's really respectable.

    So much more so than twats that come back and try to be online ruffians because they can't handle what the fuck they asked for.

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  25. Wait, wait - I that back.
    He's from Hickory, NC so he must be an ass. My husband grew up there. It's all they produce on that side of the state.

    :p

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  26. This is off topic (Rich is real nice) but are you guys going to list the upcoming blogs again? That was kind of fun. Nerds like me like to study up, you know.

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  27. A blog that reviews blogs? I like. There's a post in that somewhere.

    I should get around to it some year. Meantime, bloglines for you. Hope it's not beneath your dignity. (I suspect you're a professional writer yourself)

    J.A.P.

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  28. Of course we can, Maggie. But only for you, darlin.

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  29. On board a little late on this one, but I kind of liked this site. Not the crap grammar, punctuation, capitalization or writing - the pure political wonkiness of it. That's my sort of thing, though.

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  30. Holy shit! I just discovered that we have a T.S. Eliot character commenting. AAYSR has achieved the hardcore English major creds.

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Grow a pair.