Another Man's Opinion

It’s confession time, folks.

[deep breath]

My name is Nutjobber, and I am a Canadian.

I know, I know; don’t feel too badly for me - I’ve long ago accepted my Candianism, and for those who’ve had their blogs reviewed by me, just know that I did so as Americanly as possible.

The impetus for this revelation is the subject of today’s review, The Foothills Opinion Post, a distinctly American-themed blog brimming with extremely American subject-matter.

Did you want to know more about 9/11? Well, there’s a two-part series of fresh information right on the front page...well, not fresh information, really. More "regurgitated and opined-upon" information; it’s the kind of information that is qualified with the phrase "butt hurt", as in "Now, before you get all butt hurt and think I’m siding with the terrorists calm down." This is followed by, "I most certainly am not!"

Clearly, we know where this man stands.

Yes, everyone’s entitled to their opinions, and I couldn’t give a shit one way or the other whether you’re with or against "the terrorists" when I’m reviewing your blog; what bothers me is the following:

1) Unless starting a sentence, the following words need not be capitalized: "motorcycle", "hospital", "high school", "mother", "black", "city". These are excessively unnecessary, and, in fact, act as multiple speed-bumps when driving over the text of one’s post.

2) Inexplicable italics make it seem as though there’s a director’s-commentary going on within the post itself. I understand that sometimes one wants to make a point, and using italics is a fabulous way to do so; however, when every second paragraph is followed by an italicized-phrase, it lessens the effect entirely, and, in fact, makes the writing seem like breathless reporting. If one were giving us "the scoop" like old-timey entertainment-journalists, fine; if not, well, it’s quite painful.

3) The title against the tree-heavy background of the header hurts my eyes.

Oh, did I mention that the author’s wife saved him from AIDS? No? Here, you read about it. The logic, I guess, is that since the timing of his union with his wife coincided with the beginning of the AIDS outbreak, and since he’d been trying to wear-out his sexometer like a sixties/seventies super-stud, well, thank fuck he met his wife when he did!

Hey, look: it’s sweet that he loves his wife, truly, but I nearly had a stroke laughing at the incongruity of the AIDS-thing with his wife being a hero; it’s like me saying that my girlfriend saved me from getting crushed by my house collapsing because it did so while I was picking her up from work. That’s more of a coincidental thing, isn’t it?

Whatever the semantics, I know this guy means well; I just don’t have any desire to read his blog. Sure, there are some writing issues to deal with, but if you DID want to read more about 9/11, or how Karl Rove’s totally fucking with the Democratic party, then this might be your bag.

It’s not mine...then again, I am Canadian, aren‘t I?