You Ain't Been Funny In a Coon's Age

Keywork, here again, reviewing another blog for the people at Ask.

Well, there's things I know, and there are other things I don't know. I know this, Redneck Bar and Grill is not the worst blog I have ever read. Look, fellas, don't get all excited to the point of drinking lighter fluid, that wasn't meant as a compliment. While Redneck wasn't the worst, it's on my list of 'Blogs I Won't Read Again'. See, as an American, I am slightly more accustomed to a different brand of redneck. Not to say y'all ain't rednecks, I'm sure you are. Things are just different in Canada I guess.

Ok, the blog. Simple enough, easy to navigate, no widgets! Y'all musta known I'sa comin. I hate me some widgets. Really. I didn't really find anything to dislike as far as your template goes. So you get points for that. Unfortunately, I found the content to be simple as well. Look, you guys make beer, and I have great memories with beer. So it's hard for me to tell you this: if you brew the same way you blog, you guys are fucked. Apparently, you don't, from what I've read, so kudos. But, what I'm saying, in short, is stick to brewing. You know the type of humor that is appreciated at Ask, you knew before you submitted. What in the name of hockey were you guys thinking? Tim, Ernie, you guys need to tell us who's writing what. I don't know who to direct my verbal katanas (that's the ninja sword word you were looking for) at, so you're both going to hear it. Remember, I'm trying to wake you guys up, so take this shit to heart. One of you is funny. I don't know which one, but whoever wrote this, you have your moments. I'm guessing you would be the same fella that wrote this, please correct me if I'm wrong. Here was the high point, I really thought this was funny enough to italicize:

'This stuff isn't rocket surgery'

I enjoyed your observations and you showed hints of hilarity. I enjoyed the information on DIY Hydrogen Generators. There's your positives.

Let's glance at some things you should never do again.

1. The Ninja Post. This is what we call literary suicide. Never, ever, ever, ever, claim to be a 'pretty good' writer. Don't fucking do that. Let someone else tell you that. Believe me, if you're not a good writer, someone like myself will call you on that shit. Humility: please have some.

2. Bird Squeezing. One of you missed out on a great opportunity to really entertain the masses. Jesus, if you ever feel the need to post something this bland again, send me an email. I will tell you not to.

3. Have unprotected sex. Not that you have, I just felt like it needed to be said.

So, Rednecks, I must tell you this: grab another Blue Beaver, build some generators, and don't post again unless you're reaalllly fucking drunk. Spelling errors are funny. I don't really have a star rating for you, and I can't toss a flaming finger your way, it wasn't all bad. Hey, Love, give these guys one of those 'meh' things. Yeah.