Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Short and Not Sweet

You know what I hate more than breaking a chip in the salsa? More than mechanics who think I need help filling a tire? More than the fact that the fat bastard that lives above me takes his morning shower at the EXACT SAME TIME as me, thereby using all of the hot water? Emo feminist bloggers who only have one or two posts on each page. Way to ensure that I'll never read your missives about consumerism, love, the service industry, or stress again. Oh and how about a blog post that's one big, fucking giant ad? I don't care if you're goddamn Mark Twain with a vagina, I despise one-post-per-page blogs and ad-like posts. I hate how this blog is nearly impossible to navigate due to the fact that, even if I had the desire to click "older posts," it took me 20 minutes to figure out how to get to the home page (click on her name). I hate this blog so hard right now. I hate that I'm missing I Love the New Millennium: 2002 to write about how much I hate this blog.

The writing? It's obtuse and pretentious only in the way a 20-year-old with "thoughts" can be, with only the fear of my cats eating my face off to prevent me from stabbing myself in the eyes repeatedly until I'm dead after reading them. Her posts are grammatically correct, but that's about the only visceral response to them that I can muster. Maybe I'm old and jaded, but I just can't get excited about 2 dozen posts that essentially boil down to "OMG, who am I? Where am I going? Why is the world fucked up? Get a free computer!" I'm not trying to be mean, but these are thoughts that every college kid has before they are brutally crushed by the weight of the real world. Yawn.

The blog design is nothing special, I've seen it used several times before, so the bottom half navigation thing doesn't blow me away like it did 2 years ago when I first saw it. It's minimalist, even a little beautiful, and I'd like it a lot more if post navigation wasn't such a goddamn clusterfuck.

You get a . Resubmit when you graduate and start working a soul-crushing office job where everyone's sleeping with each other and your cube neighbor has chronic flatulence.


  1. "Averal Lim is a Business Undergraduate who examines the consequences of economy on the people that traps them in an invisible race for a “greater being”."

    Huh? I don't get it.

  2. This is the funniest blog I've read all week!!! Wait, what do you mean it's not a humor blog? Then why am I laughing so hard???

  3. After reading this blog, don't any of you fuckers EVER call me pretentious again.


    ~ Driz

  4. omg i got so seriously fucking owned.

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  7. Bollocks to blogger.

    My 2 attempts at comments were fucking hilarious.

    But now I can't be arsed.

    go read and laugh..

  8. Oh lord, I give up.


  9. xBox, dude, this isn't half as bad as what I used to write at some point, many years ago. Then I read some Sylvia Plath and realised that maybe there was a reason she killed herself.

  10. I'm all for depression, it's character building.

    But depression in the form of a frosty winter's morn and a frozen tear upon my breast...

    I can't keep a straight face.

  11. yea i am a depressed abused little girl, talk to me about that.

  12. Oh my fucking god.

    She writes alot, but doesn't really say anything. I am having a really hard time reading rather than skimming.

  13. Even when we don't get a preview of the week's upcoming blogs, I still click on the blog link in the review and go read at least some of it before I read the review itself.

    This morning, I clicked on the blog link, saw where she has posted her review, and looked around at the page for about 45 seconds before I realized I'm never reading this blog. The navigation got on my nerves that bad.

    Upon reading the review, I was happy to see that not only was I right about the navigation being a bitch, but apparently I'm not missing anything by not reading any of it.

    OH Driz darling, just because someone is more pretentious than you, it doesn't make you any less of an ass! Perhaps just less noticable. (And I say this with tons of affection. Honest.)

  14. Just another kid who thinks she knows it all when she hasn't even stepped out of her comfort zone. It's amusing, isn't it? I bet her parents still pay for everything.

    "After realizing she can't draw, she decided to pursue writing as an outlet of expression. She looks at the world in a childlike wonder in every single waking moment of her life. "

    Time to find another outlet of expression, hmm? Her writing makes no sense, even if the emotions that make her write as such do, which I seriously doubt. Writing isn't all about stringing a bunch of beautiful bombastic words together.

    Her blog displays narcissism, ignorance, and most disgustingly, a warped obsession with self pity.

    If the world really sucks the way she sees it, and nobody cares about her, perhaps she should start asking herself whether the problem lies with everything around her or simply, herself.

    She's just another one of those types who puts the blame on everything but themselves. Self-righteousness and self-love at its worst.

    P.S It's amusing when initially all the wonderfully positive comments on her post were by her boyfriend alone. Well, a partner's gotta do what a partner's gotta do, no?

  15. Would I fuck her? Yes. Probably twice.
    Would I let her read her poetry to me afterwards? No. Unless she does anal.
    Av: You're in college. Do college things. Write when you have something to write. Also, prozac. It has done wonders for my outlook.

  16. My life is a dank pit of darkness from which there is no escape but for the encouraging thoughts of suicide...and though self-mutilation is most certainly in my future, have you guys seen the new HP laptop?

    It's crazy awesome!

  17. I kind of want to slap her, this girl. She's sounds like an unqualified and unsolicited commentary on a Fritz Lang movie.

  18. Just wanted to add that Ghost came really close to a Vogon reference there, and my geeky little heart swoons at that.


Grow a pair.