Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I'm not listening la la la...

Has Joe the wind-up cynic barman shut the fuck up yet?

This was the most painful review I’ve had to do yet. Worse than the dummy spitting medical student even.

Jesus Joe, we get it, you can write. A lot. Every fucking day you shoot out a gallon of blog jizz like a top notch porn star. Unfortunately it made me groan through obligation to my job like one too.

Cheeky chappy Joseph only started blogging in June, so I decided to start at the beginning and work my way forward. By independence day I had lost the will to live.

Here is the problem for me, you talk too fucking much. You are intelligent, observant, even funny-ish, but you ramble on and on. Every entry is about 3 times longer than it needs to be.

Do you ever read back over anything you write? I bet you don’t. I bet if you did you would end up skipping over 85% of it. Just like I had to.

I admire your enthusiasm for writing, you have a lot of work under your belt, but it’s misguided and bored me to tears, it’s too big, too much, and too dull.

Quality over quantity:
-Too many posts, some are ridiculously inane, worthless and pointless. Honestly, not posting them at all would be better.

-The quality of each post suffers due to you writing so often just to get them ‘out there’, this for example could have been much better if you had real time to work on it but due to the rate you knock them out at, the result was a rushed job and it was dreadful.

-The quality of posts suffer also from the length and unnecessary wordiness of them, edit for the love of God. Re-read them.

I got a good vibe off your tone, I wanted to read you, but just couldn’t. You’re a (fellow) united fan, I wanted to read you, but just couldn’t. You’re an enthusiastic writer, I wanted to read you, but just couldn’t.

On and on and on and on you needily fucking droned like some sugar filled orphan on open day.

Go away, slow down, edit, and come back with less words and more writing.

P.S. Your template is cat shit.


  1. Gene,
    Thanks for taking the time.. Can't complain..I asked, i received, and it's probably just what the doctor wuda ordered! So, while i am egoistic enuff to be a bit miffed bout the rating, i'll take it as a how-to guide and start working on ur feedback!

  2. Ouch. I actually like molasses. On my pancakes. Fuck, I'll eat molasses off an elephants asshole. I like molasses. Blog Molasses? No thanks.

  3. I like molasses only with biscuits.

  4. Please, keywork, you'd lick an elephant's ass with NO molasses.

  5. Cat shit's a pretty low blow.

  6. For AAYSR, cat shits a veritable compliment.

  7. As soon as someone writes ur, I am outta there. I don't know, it's like kryptonite to me.

    When I see someone who is exploding with words that just keep going and going, I think, well, at least this blog has just saved some poor soul on the bus (guy in the next cubicle, grocery store clerk) from being talked to death. But words breed words. At least we can click out and we don't have to ride for twenty minutes with him.

  8. jesus, my ears get masticated enough in real life with a bunch of bastards talking at me ad nauseaum, blogging is supposed to be my escape. Last thing I need is for a blog to read like that. But looks like the guy took it well so I´ll keep an eye out and see if he does anything about it. Funny review, especially the cat shit part.

  9. Joe,
    Honestly, I love how eager you are and you are worthy of a much better rating.
    But through your eagerness to get stuff out there, it makes it VERY hard to get to the crux of your posts.

    Carve them a little bit (Okay, a lot) more and you'll reap the benefits.

    Read your own posts, what do you think of them?
    Do you enjoy reading them from start to finish?

    Good on you for taking it on the chin.

  10. Gene,

    I enjoy writing them far too much to bother reading them.. looks like that's where I fucked up...Will definitely try and make your suggestions work!

    P.S Hitchin me up with the mad doc? that's below the belt. Even for Ask!

  11. Well then think about what you want.

    If all you want is to enjoy writing, then continue as you are, and good luck.

    If you want people to enjoy reading, that's a different matter.

    Write what you would like to read.

  12. We're talking about one charming motherfucking elephant, LB, I don't just rim anything.

  13. Wow, you went to cat shit. That's bad. You're right though. That's the worst blogger template ever. Worse even than the virulent pink one.

  14. Calamity. In Cynic's defence. The template, though pretty boring, doesn't really hurt the senses.

    If it's of any help. One of India's more popular authors/columnists uses the same template for her blog. Not that that's any justification for using this template, of course.


  15. Crowley,

    You say this like India is some bastion of taste and culture.

  16. Not anymore than the US of A, Lovey ;)


Grow a pair.