Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Is 40 the new 30?

Remember when "middle aged" meant mom jeans and dickies and station wagons and appliances in god-awful colors like mustard and avocado? When it meant Ogilvie home perms and noodle casseroles and Christmas sweaters and truly enormous glasses with decorative gold rims? It was stirrup pants and cat sweatshirts and Jello salad and the easy listening station and Matlock.

Well, not anymore. I'm 33, and a good handful of my friends are edging into middle age and they are savvy and stylish and switched on and Jesus H. Christ I'm going to be middle aged in not too terribly long and I've done approximately nothing with my life. Fuck.

Which brings me to Nanny Goats in Panties, my reviewee for the day, and a self-professed middle ager. She's a working professional with no kids and a dishy (I suspect -- she doesn't talk about him much, but I like to imagine he's twelve kinds of hot) husband, so she's living my dream at least. She's also bi-cityal. Wait. That can't be right. Bi-citurnal? Bi-citified? Either way, she lives in two cities, which seems both excessive and completely awesome. She says, "I'm a non-conformist. Just like everybody else."

The blog is white, white, white with more white for good measure. Now, I'm a fan of simplicity in general, and white space in particular, but it could stand some jazzing up. It's your standard tweaked Blogger template with random changes in font size and barely passable functionality. The banner, though, is nice. But where are the panties?

Her sidebar is way too cluttered. NGIP, you've obviously got the hang of adding pages to your blog, since you have an "About" page, so why not corral those other bits and bobs into separate pages? Pull all your writing links onto one page, especially. Having your blogroll with links to the most recent post by the blogrolled is overkill. And I don't really get why people want to have recent comments emblazoned on their sidebars. Someone explain? Also, roll up your archives. The MyBlogLog rollover crap is tres annoying, just like randomly using French.

NGIP has been blogging for a while, and I've read all of 2008 thus far -- that's got to be a good sign. She's dry and silly and self-deprecating; I can relate and she makes me laugh. Ms. Kendrick could learn a thing or two. Oh, there's some filler, but it's generally funny filler. This is a humor blog, for the most part, but there's some depth here, too. Most of the time I prefer personal blogs that happen to be funny rather than blogs where getting laughs is their raison d'etre (there goes that annoying French again). I like a little more back story, a little more exposure, a little more grit. I want to be entertained, but I also want to feel like I'm snooping. Is that so wrong?

There is quite a bit of shameless self-promotion going on, an open quest for readership and linkage and numbers and rankings, which makes me uncomfortable. Yes, I know, that's kind of the whole point of a blog -- exposure -- and heaven knows I want all that, too. It just seems... tawdry? This from a woman who blew her fiance in a parking lot the night she met him, but I can't blow my own horn. I should speak to a shrink about that, shouldn't I? That and the oral fixation.

But back to Nanny Goats in Panties (How much do I love that title? Kind of a lot.), I gotta say I dig it. She's talented and she makes me laugh and she writes well with little humorous interjections and asides. I wish I knew more about her, though. I wish I knew if her husband really is dishy, if she likes reruns of CHiPs or Magnum PI, if she wishes Glen Beck would fall off the face of the earth or contract a virulent strain of laryngitis rendering him permanently mute. I just want to know more. Also, sex please. Come on, people. Do I have to ask all the time? I need you all to endeavor to write about sex at least once a week, k?

Nany Goats in Panties (there, I wrote it again) gets three stars from me. I might fucking love her if she'd clean up her blog, get a better design, stop the pimping, and scratch the surface a little more. That may not be what she wants her blog to be, but it's what I want, and for the purposes of this review what I want is all that matters.

20 comments:

  1. I got tired of my posting time being ganked, so you get two reviews today. You lucky, lucky fools.

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  2. I don't think this is going to shock anyone, but I like NGIP. She's funny, and she's into shameless whoring.

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  3. I'm really sorry that I fucked you around on the blogging schedule. I've been in the midst of a mini-meltdown yesterday and today. I really am sorry, again.

    We are lucky.

    I like this blog, but I agree with all of your feedback, hands down, write it in the bible.

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  4. p.s. From one girl with an oral fixation to another girl with an oral fixation, there ain't nothin wrong with a girl with an oral fixation. Men are lucky to find girls like us.

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  5. I love NGIP. Just something about her... maybe the title. But I agree - where are the panties???

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  6. Are you implying that 40+ is middle-aged? I'm not sure I can handle thinking about myself that way.

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  7. I'm saying that Nanny implied that 40 was middle aged and if so things have changed a lot since my mother's day.

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  8. Glenn Beck should catch a virulent strain of my foot in his dick hole. Fucking Glenn Beck. A loud mouth, chinless jackass of galactic proportions.

    I'm sorry, there was a review?

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  9. Thank you, Calamity, for your thoughtful and honest review. I appreciate everything you said. I've always felt constrained with the limits of Blogger and hope someday to do something about that. And I WISH I could talk about sex with my dishy husband, and I WISH I could talk about my damn family, but privacy issues are currently preventing that. The second they're dead, though...

    Thanks again for the review!

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  10. NGIP speaking as the proud owner of a saggy set of tits, I love that you don't talk about middle aged sex...

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  11. I agree about everything. You go to a blog and the first paragraph makes you add it to your Google Reader. Cool.

    And there's something evil about that Humor Blogs thing. But maybe it gives a person direction, too. Maybe that's what I need to stop myself writing random stuff and becoming the Joe Jackson of bloggers.

    Where was I? Yes, good stuff.

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  12. NGIP is funny. She's also getting pretty popular in the Sacramento area...I wish she'd dig a little deeper too, but I think she does that in other places online.

    I thinking the shameless pimping is absolutely in character for the tone and tenor of the blog...but, I usually skip over those "so and so added me..." parts.

    She's been on my blogroll for a while!

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  13. Pah! 40 is so NOT middle aged and I refuse to go there.
    But I do love NGIP; she's my original inspiration to blog. I want to be like her when I grow up. : )

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  14. I really like NGIP, but I get tired of the same old goats. Can't they wear hats or something?

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  15. oooh sex, I think not. Isn't the image of Nanny Goats in Panties titillating and tantalizing enough? And, um, I haven't met the husband, but I think I've seen a picture and he's hawt.

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  16. I'm a huge NGIP fan. She's great, but I would like to know more about HER! I'm nosey like that too.

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  17. I'm a new fan. As far as I can see, she nails the important stuff- the writing. Its not hard to tune out the website clutter when the writing is this good!

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  18. This will come as no surprise but I am a HUGE fan of NGIP-her title alone had me hooked before I read one line of a post-I literally sat there and cracked up and thought my blog title is soooo 1950's

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  19. I think NGIP is hilarious, in spite of the author's wildly biased pro-Nanny Goat elitist agenda. I wish her continued success.

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  20. I LOVE NGIP! I'm especially fond of the goat that pop up in her comment box...maahhhhh!

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Grow a pair.