Thursday, September 04, 2008

Once bitten...well, I'm not sure you can recover from the first time.

Oh, Jillie, Jillie, Jillie, where to begin?

First off, your template. I don't hate it, I like blue. And that's good, because there is a lot of blue. Okay, I don't grok the vox. WTF is a vox anyway? Vox apparently gives you a lot of widgets to use, and I don't grok widgets, either. Here is what I think you need more of:

1) About you. Please give me more. Are you really a widowed lesbian? C'mon, girl. You know you're going to be doing nekkid twirls on trikes at burning man, and you can't give us more than this? I'm very put out with you.

Speaking of putting out, try it. You might like it. (insert salacious leer here)

2) I don't think you need: Neighbors, links, recent comments, maps and videos on your sidebar. All of these can be accessed through the buttons at the top of your blog, which kind of defeats the purpose of putting them neatly behind a button, if you let them sprawl all over your sidebar like that.

So, clean that shit up.

3) Effing? Seriously? You're going to Burning Man, and you write fuck as effing? Do I even need to raise my eyebrows at you, meaningfully?

Okay, content. I like the photos. I like your mad gardening skillz. You know these are zucchinis or yellow squash, right? And, this is very pretty.

But, you need to write more. With, frankly, more depth. Like, I think it's awesome that you're going to Burning Man, I totally want to go myself, at some point, but how dare you throw that tasty little morsel there and then stop short without all the good juicy bits? Why did you decide to go? What do you hope to do/see/experience there? Have you been before? More details, sweetie.

Often, we tell people to remove about 2/3 of their words and trim their content down. In your case, you need to bolster it up. Your content needs to eat more fiber. I want more, goddamn it!

When you do write, you have a charming, self-deprecating voice.

You just don't do it enough.

So, Jilly, I give you . I like you, but you need to stop being such a goddamn tease.


  1. This is exactly what I was talking about earlier this week. Nothing too spectacular this week.

  2. I can't hate on Jillie, but for me, it was a bit of a meh.

  3. I kinda felt that way about all the blogs on this week's list. But, to be fair, I'm shallow and driven by sex and humor. I found neither of these in any of the blogs this week, hence, my boredom. I do like fresh produce though.

  4. I like the typography, and I approve of her use of grammar, and she seems like a neat lady.

  5. Yeah, I'm not knocking her as a neat lady, I'm sure she is one. Most of the reviewees do seem like great people, don't get me wrong. But would I look to them for entertainment? I don't know, what else is on?

  6. I dunno why, but I kind of expected more 'something'.

    I do quite like the template though, plenty of writing space.

  7. Points all well-taken, Sweeties, uh ....bitches. However, my red-state, tight-assed conservative family members would consider my blog a Wild Ride. Time to loosen up.
    Come here and let Jillie give you all a big hug.

  8. I'd rather have oral than a hug.

  9. I'd take one off the wrist instead of a hug

  10. One at a time please. One must proceed at a graceful pace.

  11. the pace will need to be a bit more than 'graceful'

  12. So Jillie's dishen out hugs, anyone offering spankings?

  13. I was going to e-mail you directly with a HUGE thanks for the review, but my left toe is numb from standing all day and the kids laughed at me when I got marker across my forehead. So I gave up looking for an e-mail address and decided to thank you here in the comment section. Of someone else's review.

    You + Me + a few other bloggers + Burning Man *woo hoo*

    Come on... think of the huge crocheted hyperbolic plane we could make and display at our math-themed vampire camp. ; )

    Thanks again for the awesome review - I realize how time-consuming it is wading through a blog and writing this stuff up.



  14. Wait. I thought it was oral, now. I wasn't told there would be math.

  15. If reaching senior citizen-hood means younger people are going to start calling me "neat" ... Let me die now.

    I don't suffer lesbian's blogs well.

    But, she sounds like a neat lady.

  16. People in the sun, Honey;
    If I was Misus Madrigal, I wouldn't gotten a "Meh" rating. I'd be scorching your little wooley ears off.

    Ghost of keywork...
    Sic 'em.
    Because I'm neat.

  17. Well, while you are technically very 'neat', I can't comply. The last time I took orders from a lesbian, there may or may not have been an orgasm involved. So, while I don't care for People in the Sun much at all, I can only sic when I want to. I still think you're a neat lady, I just keep strange company.

  18. it's late. i shouldn't be here. because i know my shit storm -- it cometh. and i am apparently boring, except to that retired dude. HE approved.

    i like this broad anyhoo, and it beats the GOP crap on the teevee.

  19. Dude, where did you see nekked trike twirls? She seems nice and cute and I'm a fan of plants, but I dunno.

  20. Photos to come, Captain Steve. Busywork, here trying to strike the correct balance between thong/depends couture

  21. Would a leopard print make me look gay?

  22. only if you were also smoking a pipe...

  23. Please, Jillie. We women "of a certain age" have to preserve some dignity. NEVER leopard.

    Now, camo...

  24. Um.. I'm so suckingly boring I got skipped.



Grow a pair.