Sunday, March 15, 2009

Fuck the World, or at least the U.S. and Canada

Baking nude is dangerous when possessing dangly bits. - Mia Watts

And yes, I am either a very brave bear. Or a very stupid one. But when you're a bear you can get away with a lot of 'stupid' since no one really fucks with a bear. - Pos

Unlike other people, I don't want GoK's semen in my keister. - Betsey Booms

She's only appearing gracious because she has to make a flow chart to see how her robotic heart feels about being called a bitch. - Dirty Pirate Hooker

Talk about supercilious. Heh! We are all, like, exhibits A-Z for that. - Calamity

Keeping track of hits is like watching the People's Choice Awards and hoping that Rosie O'Donnell beats Ricki Lake for Best Daytime-Talkshow Douchebag. - Ryan, the Lawson


Collaborative quotes:
Fuck India. And Arkansas. And your mother. - Keywork

Having actually fucked Vermont and Oklahoma, I can only say that you should look for a state with softer earth. Less painful. - Pos

But if you fuck Oklahoma deep enough, eventually you'll hit oil. - Rassles

35 comments:

  1. I loved that bear quote so much I was actually dorky enough to use it in conversation with a friend who doesn't even know what the blogosphere is.

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  2. I vote for Cal - "supercilious" tickled me right in the thesaurus.

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  3. Yeah, I'm gonna have to vote for myself here. Second choice? Ryan, the Lawson: cause the name kicked ass.

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  4. I liked the bear quote as well. I'm gonna vote for DPH, mostly because I was surprised that she possessed the vocabulary to pull that off. Love ya, skank.

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  5. Swimming nude makes all the sense in the world. Doing so many other things that way looks like an invitation for trouble to me. But don't we all have "dangly bits" somewhere?

    I can't really imagine having sex with states or countries. I could easily imagine having sex with houses or cars - they have nice, tight drain and exhaust pipes and some of them are quite beautiful.

    Oh, was I supposed to vote for something here?

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  6. And that there, my friends, is why you should do your own oil changes.

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  7. I don't do much nude baking, but I've ironed my dangly bits before. Naked ironing should probably be avoided, that is my scientific finding, at least.

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  8. I do wear an apron when things start going in the oven.
    LB: This didn't happen over the weekend by any chance?

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  9. I vote DPH. That comment alone would have made a good review of that blog.

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  10. No naked ironing has occurred at my house for many years. I don't think it removes wrinkles, thus it is pointless.

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  11. I ironed clothes that were on me. Not the brightest idea.

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  12. I'll not vote. It's just an honor to be nominated.

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  13. Also, never attempt to feed marmots when nude. Seriously.

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  14. GoK, wearing and apron for oven work is wise. Brings to mind, "Swing looooow, sweet chariooot".

    Dick Whacker- swimming with dangly bits also not recommended. Shriveled up wobbly worms are prime bait for large preditors. Perhaps in your case, a clown fish?

    My vote to the bear. Am sure that bear fucking is quite vigorous and brings about lustily growled exitement and slobber... but indeed, even I would not proposition one.

    Thanx for the nod.

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  15. Okay, Mia, we get it. If it has a pulse, you'll fuck it.

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  16. Yeah, I don't even care that she'll fuck anything. I don't care that her comments look like the spam I get (re: teen fuck horse donkey loads). I just don't want to read about it. That's right, there is sex that I don't care to read about.

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  17. LB, I have a little more of a selection process. GoK, yeah, didn't much care for the comments there either. Hence I've been searching a better template to play down the "panting whore on coke" theme going on.

    Annoys the shit out of me.

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  18. Huh? You're South African royalty, aren't you Mia? I fucking knew it.

    Side note: I almost married a panting bisexual whore on coke.

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  19. Me, too. And the best part was his thin, delicate wrists of death.

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  20. Shockingly enough, there is peen I don't want to see (it's glowing, blue, and tastes like doritos cool ranch tortilla chips), and sex i don't want to hear about (anything with bears, for starters).

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  21. I like these, but I was really hoping to vote for rachie! with:

    "Own yourself, like GoK does, except without being an asshole."

    Instead, I vote for DPH or Ryan, the Lawson.

    And LB, too right about ironing naked.

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  22. Right. I shall remember to talk delicately for the little ears in the room.

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  23. My vote is with the hooker too.

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  24. Mia:

    Please stop being a fucking drama queen. We talk about fucking all the time, but even I wouldn't fuck anything all the fucking time.

    Show us you have some standards, and that you can talk about something besides bear penis, okay?

    Thanks,

    the local delicate little flower

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  25. Not that anyone asked -- specifically -- but we bears have evidently gotten some sort of rep. Not sure how. While there may be bears that have earned it, I don't personally know any.

    The ones I know have been known to nod off during ... the act (sorry, delicate ears). The only drool coming from accidental somnambulant mouth breathing...

    Sorry.

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  26. The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain. Have no idea if true, however there are bears and wolves present in Spain.

    And they have lovely little delicate flowers there, certainly.

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  27. First "supercilious", now "somnambulant"?

    Holy Christ - alert the grammar police, 'cause we're in line for a motherfucking gold star!

    High five?

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  28. Pos fits in well here, I think. He has bear drool and a large vocabulary.

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  29. Mia - In all honesty, that actually happened once. I was swimming naked in Lake Mendota and a fish started nibbling on it. It didn't have any teeth so it might have been a pleasant experience if I hadn't been so shocked.

    True story.

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  30. Hell hath frozen over. Advantage, DPH.

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  31. RW-Lake Mendota? You're in Minnesota aren't you.

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Grow a pair.