Friday, May 15, 2009

What, the curtains?

Have you ever seen the poncy prince from Monty Python and the search for the holy grail?

All he ever wanted to do was burst into song!

This week's blog put me in mind of that. Our author is a 22 year old physiotherapist who only wants to don his leotard and trip the light fantastic.

The look is nothing new, basic blogger template, but at least it's been kept white and tidy. Nothing to write home about.

Kid, you are good at this writing lark, technically at least. You craft and shape posts, they are structured and paced, and read well. Almost methodically.

I bet you line your shoes up according to lace length outside your bedroom door of an evening too.

The thing is, while it's nice to see, it gets boring. You need some flesh on those bones.

You lean heavily on quotes and lyrics as the seed for your entries, too heavily. I'm not bothered what Gary Barlow thinks of things, if I read your personal blog I want to know what you think.

You write a lot there when you are bored, or fed up, which accumulates into one big whine. Regardless of what you write it's to a certain standard, but it would make a huge difference if you wrote more about what excites you, the things you love, your passion. Have a look at the difference between this and this. Or this and this. Which posts are better?

When you write, you pass. When you write about your real interests, you excel. Write about dance, write about the redhead.

I think you blog because you think you should, not because you are driven to. You have capabilities that help you pull it off, but over time you will be found out if it's not sincere.

Personal blogs need a heartbeat, yours is there, but it's faint. Forget the moaning and the 'I-don't-know-what-to-write' rubbish. Live and write, or don't.

For making me chuckle at the campness & ditzyness, and for being a good post crafter, one of these. More? That's up to you.




For the whining and run-of-the-millness:

156 comments:

  1. Honestly, I had a different perspective. I felt like a lot of the posts were all about buildup and sort of just trailed off.

    I found that there was a journey, and it was an excellent one, but the destination, the "point" of the posts, was often missing or just sort of haphazardly thrown in.

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  2. I just couldnt find anything about this guy that made me want to keep reading.

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  3. It is the rare 22 yr old who has anything to say that I am interested in reading. Not saying it doesn't happen; it does. But only slightly more often than winning the lottery.

    I might care more if I was less distracted with my own thoughts, but whose fault is that? I propose that if this writer were slightly more forceful my thoughts would be compelled to the nethers and I would HAVE to pay attention to what he/she (I assume guy, but honestly wasn't interested enough to find out for sure) has to say.

    He/she turns a phrase nicely, but that is far from enough. You can spray paint a turd gold, but it's still a turd.

    (Side note: looks like I chose an interesting couple of days to be overly preoccupied with real life.)

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  4. Truthfully, I'd rather read teh blog of a teenager than that of a 22-year-old.

    A 16-year-old is old enough to have interesting thoughts, but not old enough to feel that they have great wisdom to spill on you. A 16-year-old is sharing their journey with you, asking some of the big questions about life, and that's intriguing to me.

    A 22-year-old is just finishing college, and has been pumped full of information. He/she thinks she knows a lot of stuff, but hasn't been hoisted on his/her petard often enough to realize that he or she is really, in the scheme of things, a complete fucking know-nothing with no real wisdom to share with anyone.

    I'd enjoy 22-year-olds more if they realized that.

    Yeah kid, that's great, get back to me when you're 40. You'll be interesting again then.

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  5. Yeah, I remember being a Sophomore in college and calling everything I disagreed with 'esoteric bullshit'. Because I thought that was a cool way to talk. Because I was all grown up.
    Honestly, telling my roommate it was a bunch of esoteric bullshit for her to fuck my boyfriend was just stupid. I should have shoved a very sharp pencil into her ear canal and just blogged about it 20 years later.

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  6. Esoteric bullshit sounds like something I'd have said while stoned, thinking it sounded like I was one of the campus intelligentsia.

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  7. I think Chris was in a band called Esoteric Bullshit in the 80's.

    And I know for a fact that as an English major, I was responsible for the foisting of a ton of "esoteric bullshit" on the world.

    Sometimes that can be a good thing.

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  8. Wasn't my cup o tea either

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  9. Some of the posts I thought were good. Most of them I didn't like. As a 22yr old myself, I will admit there is lots of whining, haha. It's because we want the world to be just so. But I'm an idealist and get mad when things don't go my way. I'm sure when I'm in my 40's I'll look back at my 20's and wish things were that easy again.

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  10. Fox -- if you can remember your twenties when you are in your forties then you probably did it wrong.

    :)

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  11. Well shit. I've been doing it wrong then. I still have lots of time left to create voids in my memory. Although, my crazy days were when I was in college and that lasted two years. I'm more of a weed smoker than drinker. No amount of intoxication makes me forget. I've never passed out and woken up in a ditch. The universe has screwed me over, lol.

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  12. I once got very drunk, dropped a bunch of acid, and then tried to hitchhike down a major interstate highway. I ended up passing out and rolling down an exit ramp.
    I highly recommend this kind of behavior in one's 20's.

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  13. I had some good times in my early 20's. Now, I'm an old woman, well, not really...but I feel it.
    I hardly ever get drunk anymore.

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  14. I'm not that much a fan of booze. Like I said, I'm a stoner and I've had some amazing stoner times. One of my favourite experiences, I was really stoned and there was a piece of plastic on my coffee table. I was sitting there staring at. My friend asked what I was doing and I told him to be quiet because I was watching a movie. Yes, I could see a movie playing in a piece of plastic. I hallucinate like crazy while stoned. He still makes fun of me for that night, haha.

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  15. Also, there was the time when I was drunk and stoned and tried to climb a tree. I fell out and sprained my ankle really bad. Good times.

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  16. Ya'll have some crazy weed over there dont you, Fox?

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  17. I spent my early 20s handing in research papers on time, and headbanging. Shameful behaviour, which, thankfully I've gotten out of the habit of indulging in. The being on time bit ie.

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  18. I like the writing. It's pretty. I agree with SciFi Dad. I was waiting for all the pretty words to have some kind of pay off and they just didn't deliver. But there is definitely potential. And I'm with Rassles - I thought I was smarter in high school than I did in my early 20s. But I didn't go to college, so maybe that's why.

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  19. I thought I was smart in college, getting all A's. Then I went to grad school and found out I was dumber than a rock.

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  20. I have like 3 identities on blogger, and some days, I can't tell if I'm coming or goiong.

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  21. I need a cool alias. Using my regular name is such a bore.

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  22. Given that I'm 25 and supposedly past college habits, I still find it hard to read blogs by 40 year olds. In fact I avoid a blog if the writer has a kid. It irks me that most of these blogs turn into parenting experiences even if the writer isn't a self confessed mommy/daddy blogger. You would think people could string at least 2 consecutive posts without mentioning their precious progeny.

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  23. Thanatos - I'm kind of laughing at the 40 bit. That just doesn't sound that far away to me anymore. There are plenty of bloggers with kids who I would not consider in the mommy/daddy blogger genre.

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  24. Oh Sarah you have no idea. We have such awesome weed here I love it. There are all sorts. I like my crazy hallucinogenic weed. Then you have the weed that gives you the mad munchies. I try and avoid that stuff at all costs. You can't feel your stomach at all. So you eat and eat. You honestly can't stop eating. My highs always last around 5 hours plus. Also, it's cheap. I can get a quarter for only $40 because I have connections. :P

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  25. Blues, I was using the "40" bracket since LB mentioned it. In general though, every blogger that has a kid, talks about the kid. And I close the tab.

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  26. And I'm not trying to offend anyone here, just saying there's a demographic for every kind of writing.

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  27. I got sick of smoking weed years ago. I dunno, I guess it just lost its appeal.

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  28. Thanatos - it's weird because I have a kid and I still understand you. If I didn't have a kid, I don't know that I would want to read about other people's kids. So no offense taken here, at all.

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  29. Thanny, why do you hate me?

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  30. I will take a percocet over weed or alcohol any day of the week. I don't get the appeal of weed so much anymore. It just makes me tired. And I sleep quite enough from the Xanax.

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  31. Aw, Sarah no way I hate you. I'd totally hit on you if I saw you in a bar.

    Well, I'd at least think of hitting on you while hiding in a corner since I'm shy like that.

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  32. I close the tab when the first thing I read about the blogger's kid is positive. Especially "unique," "unusual" or "special." Unless they're being sarcastic.

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  33. I was kidding Thanny. But hey, thanks! I'd totally let you buy me a drink.

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  34. Gwen, I have like 20 percocets left over from my last "procedure" turns out I'm really fucking allergic to them! Vicodin and dilaudid too.

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  35. Cool, just ignore the fuzzy pills at the bottom of the drink, ok?

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  36. Lost the appeal for weed? This makes me sad. You have probably just been smoking really shitty weed. Come to Canada and I will let you smoke the finest weed I've found. I've actually been seriously contemplating growing my own personal plant so I don't have to buy it anymore. Oh how that would be nice.

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  37. I try not to write about my kid constantly, but it's tempting because there's always a lot of material there. But I never liked kids before I had one. Actually, I still don't like kids. Even my own irritates me half the time.

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  38. Thanny, as long as its not a pain killer, I'll just take it OK? Save you the trouble of trying to slip it in the drink unnoticed.

    Fox, no love, I only smoked the good shit. I just grew out of it.

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  39. Yeah Gwen, glad you understand. Wish my cube neighbor understood I don't want to hear about her 5 year old.

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  40. I don't mind reading about kids. As long as it's entertaining. Kids are just funny. I read a post on Ghosts blog about his kid pissing on a wall and getting in trouble. I thought it was hilarious. That's why I love kids. They do awesome shit like that. But if you want to tell me how perfect your child is and how they win the Spelling B and crap like that, no thanks.

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  41. Also, Gwen, I loved your post about your little one giving you a twig smile. I thought that was so fucking adorable. Things just seem so simple at that age.

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  42. No one here's tried Salvia? It's legal and awesome. I had an out of body experience with it. I should write about it sometime.

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  43. Sarah - I'll be happy to take those babies off your hands. Mmmm Dilaudid.

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  44. I post about my son occasionally. But based on most of my readers, I tend to leave the talk of kids out. I'm fuckin nice like that.

    My kid is awesome. Awesome like he referred to his 3rd grade teacher as "princess". I had to hide my laughter, whilst telling him it was inappropriate to speak like that.

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  45. Gwen, unless I want to stop breathing I have no use for percocets. Is it legal to mail pills to someone? Heh.

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  46. Foxglove - yeah, the twig smile was cute. But it's out of context. I think she hurled about a hundred "I hate yous" at me that day. I tell all my friends without kids, "Don't do it!"

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  47. Jesus see see see? This comment thread turned into kid talk!

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  48. Omg, salvia. This is something I wish to try but can't get my hands on. Not that I've looked that hard for it. Also, I will never do shrooms again. Only did them once and they fucked me up.

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  49. Yea, but Thanny, we're still talking about percocets, weed and date rape arent we?!

    Geez, man, ya gotta give a little to get a little.

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  50. Sarah - ummm, I've done it. But it isn't legal. I'm such a rebel. It's funny you say that about the "stop breathing" because I used to have a bottle of pills I kept "just in case". Crazy. But my husband would kill me if I killed myself with all our painkillers. He'd be like, "Dammit, Gwen! None left for me!"

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  51. I don't know how my husband could kill me if I killed myself. But you get it, right?

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  52. I don't like to talk about my kids much, but sometimes it just sort of happens. Generally I try to just talk about stuff that I'm thinking about, and sometimes my kids might be involved, so they might get mentioned.

    Y'all will tell me if I start writing like a mommyblogger, right?

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  53. I'm sorry Gwen, I love you. You cant have my percocets.

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  54. Thanny - you're right. I'm sorry about that shit. How come I've never heard of this salvia?

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  55. I remember being prescribed oxycotin when I had my wisdoms pulled when I was like, fourteen. I ended up getting a dry socket, thus the oxycotin. That shit made me so stoned. My mother refused to let me take anymore and took those pills away from me, damn her, lol.

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  56. Heh, I'm at work where I can't even get a beer. Raw nerves on a sunny Friday.

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  57. I had a hard time typing salvia. It's too much like saliva.

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  58. Pos, I'll make a deal with you..I'll tell you and you tell me if I ever become one of 'those' mommybloggers?

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  59. Pos - I will tell you if you sound too much like a mommyblogger, if you will tell me.

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  60. Sarah - jinx. But me some coke.

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  61. Salvia gives you an intense trip that last for just 5 mins. It's not a social thing, but you're advised to have a "sitter" around. I personally found it rather spiritual, and that's pretty surprising.

    Also, check out salvia inspired artwork. Wicked!

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  62. Than - One of the reasons I never tried acid is because I was afraid of being "out of control" for a long period. This salvia sounds like the answer to my prayers. A quick, mind-blowing trip is just what I need.

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  63. I know salvia is a short high. But doesn't it feel like it lasts forever though? That's what I've heard, not sure if it's true. Also, yes you are suppose to have a sitter for it. A lot of shamans would use salvia to induce trance for spiritual purposes. This is why I want to try it so bad. For the spirituality of it all.

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  64. I dont want to take anything that requires me to have a "sitter". I like to be in control of myself.

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  65. Sounds like whippets to me. What I always liked about whippets was the exceptionally short duration of the high. I just can't be out of it for more than a half hour at a shot. Freaks me out.

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  66. Spiritual, smiritual. I just want to get high.

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  67. I always loved the feeling of helium as well. I would suck back at least two balloons and be so light headed and dizzy. Never tried whippets. I couldn't justify leaving all that creaming goodness in the can.

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  68. Sarah : then you don't want to do what I did. Alone in a tent, midnight in the middle of nowhere.

    Gwen : Salvia should be available in most pipe stores. Start with 10X go on to 25X, good stuff. Side effects including sweating, drooling and post-trip anger.

    In other words, a typical Saturday night.

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  69. In regards to the whole "type of blogs I read" business.

    In the end, I don't give a shit if you're a parent or a hooker or both, it's just about the writing.

    Sometimes I wish I could find blogs written by people that are like, my demographic equivalent. But they're usually such fucking douchebags that have nothing to say. Recycling is hip and all, but really? Don't you have any interesting thoughts of your own that you didn't hear somewhere else?

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  70. Um, Thanny, a little something about me...I dont do nature. You would never find me alone in a tent, at night. Fuck that noise.

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  71. Drugs are bad. Nothing like scotch.

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  72. and by "my demographic equivalent" I mean "brilliant, hilarious, and can fly."

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  73. Damn, I fit until you said 'can fly'.

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  74. As for hard liquors, I'm a tequila girl.

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  75. See, that's the problem. Where are all the fliers?

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  76. Your expectations are to much for me Rass. I just cant fly. Not for lack of trying though.

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  77. I believe I can fly...

    Ok great I got that song stuck in my head. Have to listen to some death metal to clean out my brain.

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  78. I like Sarah. Straightforward. No bullshit. Three words that carry the weight of the world:

    I. Like. Beer.

    Me too.

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  79. I enjoy beer as well. I like Budweiser, Blue and Canadian. they are my top three.

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  80. Rassles - I'd be hard-pressed to find a blog like yours. You have a way of talking about everyday things and making them seem fresher and more interesting. In a word, it's amazing.

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  81. I prefer wine. And whine.

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  82. Oh, it's all about the Trois Pistoles.

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  83. I wish to crap I'd kept a blog or a journal when I was 22. I can't remember so much of it now.

    This kid's blog, though, is all accomplished and thoughtful and well-executed on the outside. But the inside is just meh.

    Nicely done, Father.

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  84. A good Chardonnay or Zinfandel are always nice. Plus, a good bottle of ice wine. :P

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  85. Hmm, never had it. I'm a simple girl with simple pleasures. Budweiser is fine by me.

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  86. Fox, I am totally unimpressed. You still need to do a 120 shock or something.

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  87. Foxglove - I've heard of ice wine. It's when they harvest the grapes after they've frozen, right? I've never had it though.

    Sarah - I'm a pretty simple girl, too. But beer is just too bubbly for me.

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  88. Gwed Dear, thats what big ass burps are for!

    Yea, I'm a lady alright.

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  89. I know. I am ashamed. I am abusing my youth by not getting arrested and other fun things. I think getting drunk and getting hit by a car would suffice. Because rolling down hills just doesn't give the same impact as a car going 80 down the street.

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  90. Feckin Whiskey. Kidding me? I bleed the stuff.

    Mongo, Shock 120? This isn't 1997. Malort. Malort is fucking hardcore.

    (kidding, Mongo, love you.)

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  91. If I ever own a bar, I'm buying boxes of Malort. And I'm making unsuspecting customers do shots of it, just to see if they can hang.

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  92. Sarah - "ladies" are boring. You are awesome.

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  93. Yeah they freeze the grapes on the vine and harvest them. It's very potent stuff. If you are not one for sweets I do not recommend. It is very sugary, but so very tasty. To get a good bottle though, you are looking at like, $60. The cheap stuff isn't too bad either. I once had a bottle of ice wine/brandy mix. Not bad at all.

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  94. Rassles - I can't do shots ever. Because I get drunk off of just one. It's not pretty.

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  95. Oh, you'll drink my Malort and you'll fucking like it. It's rancid. God, I'm shivering just thinking about it.

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  96. I do shots, but only after I've finished a pitcher of beer.

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  97. Sarah, you're going to want to save that beer to wash out the taste of the Malort.

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  98. See, I'd rather pop pills. No hangover. How do you deal with the hangover?

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  99. That good huh? The I would really need to be drunk beforehand.

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  100. If I do shots it's either Jameson or Red Breast.

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  101. Gwen, I typically dont get hangovers from beer. Its when I try to be girly and drink the sweet stuff that the hangovers ensue.

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  102. I have severely low tolerance to alcohol. One beer gets me pretty damn buzzed. So when I break out the tequila or my four horseman shots. It's time to party. I just have to make sure i have the next day off because I need a full day of recovery. I would very much like to try screech and absinthe. My home made absinthe just isn't like the stuff you buy. But when you see the sparkling blue butterflies, I know I've done well.

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  103. Well, first you kick things, and then you fall accidentally. Drink a lot of water. Drink a lot of coffee. Explain to your coworkers that your friend turned thirty last night and you tried to pump air in your bike tires with a corkscrew, which, coincidentally, is counterproductive.

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  104. sorry. That's how I deal with hangovers.

    And eggs. I need to eat eggs.

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  105. I'm hangover proof. Don't get them.

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  106. mmmm...eggs. I always need eggs when I'm hung over too. I also need to sleep for about a thousand hours straight to eradicate the headache.

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  107. A full glass of water and 4 ibuprofen before bed also help.

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  108. I always get terribly hung over from booze. This is why I fancy weed over alcohol any day.

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  109. Foxxy, I never had this ice wine you speak of. Is that the new trendy thing to drink? I need to tell the hipsters.

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  110. Well. If I drink cheap vodka/rum and don't drink water I feel like shit the next day. But I don't so no hangovers.

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  111. I can't believe you've cured the hangover.

    That'll pass. I think I lost my ability to deal with hangovers in like a week. One day, I had a bad one. And now I always do.

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  112. Isnt that kind of a hangover?

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  113. What say you? Never had ice wine? Oh dear me. You must invest in a good bottle. Ice wine is a product of Canadian winters. This is probably why some may not have had the pleasure. Here is a nice info site for ice wine.

    http://www.winesofcanada.com/icewine.html

    I can't figure out how to make it link, so a copy and paste will suffice.

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  114. So it's 2 pm and I get to leave my shitty job for the day. Yay! I'm going to go get drunk tonight so that I can be as one with Rassles. :)

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  115. I've never had Ice wine either. But you said its really sweet so I may have to avoid it.

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  116. Ooooh, maybe I'll get my drink on tonight as to be one with the both of you!

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  117. I'm totally picking up some ice wine.

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  118. We can be all imbibe-illy connected, if that word exists.

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  119. Another Ice wine site to check out is:

    http://pellericewine.com/

    Yes, it is very sweet. But well worth the risk, if only for one single time.

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  120. You so just made it a word Rass.

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  121. We had a jeep called Gypsy in India. It was bad ass.

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  122. I'm surprised Betsy hasn't piped up to blame the hobos for everything yet.

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  123. Hobos don't get blamed; they get exalted.

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  124. Also, I think Betsey is busy delivering just desserts to her husband.

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  125. Dang. Stupid multiple blogger accounts. Where am I?

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  126. LB and I once successfully stalked and downed some reclusive ice wine. We were totally sneaky about it, though.

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  127. My nickname is Gypsy. We're trouble I tell you, trouble!

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  128. Random alert but the pot smokin' reminded me. Did you know Absynthe is legal again? Too bad it tastes like licorice.

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  129. Ohh, I like licorice. Never had absinthe though.

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  130. My nickname is Blue. I like Gypsy better.

    blog updated.
    Mia

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  131. I think you have to pour it over a sugar cube and light the cube or some shit.

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  132. Ah, sounds way to fucking complicated. I'll stick to beer.

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  133. Does Ask have a long queue going?

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  134. I believe it took a few months(ish) for them to get to my blog...I'm assuming a lot of people submit.

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  135. I don't remember when I signed up, but they did mine already.

    Fox-you're 22? Note previous comments.

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  136. Yes, yes I am. I'll be 23 in September. Maybe when I turn 23 I'll magickally stop whining all of the time. But I doubt it. I'll just be more intelligent about it, haha.

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  137. Fox-
    "Holy fuck me. The new Star Trek movie was fucking sexy. I mean, really sexy. I've watched the movie twice already and seeing Kirk and Spock made me cream myself. I would love to be in a spit roast with the two of them. Not quite sure who I would want where. I think I'd let Kirk take me from behind and have Spock front and center. Mmmm, Vulcan cock. I can feel my inner Trekkie tingling."

    You've definitely made the erotic commentary list. Haven't seen the movie but am now curious.

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  138. I think Mia is trying to say that she updated her blog's layout, again.

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  139. Omg, don't even get me started on the movie. If you have any love for Star Trek, this new movie will make you wet your panties. But I'm a nerd like that. It may not work for everyone. I do have a few racy posts on my blog, lol. Most of them pertaining to masturbation because I have nobody to fuck me right now. :D

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  140. Mia, I like the new layout. But I liked the last one you had to, the red one. I think either of them look really good. :D

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  141. Also, if you want to be a cheap bastard like me. You can watch Star Trek for free. Quality isn't that bad either.

    http://www.watch-movies-links.net/movies/star_trek/

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  142. Yep, posted that earlier, milf. Commentary list was figurative.

    Fox, thanks for the kudos. Now, any chance you read my post on piracy?

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  143. I have now, lol. I agree. Stealing is stealing. But in my defense, first I watch online, then I buy when it comes to DVD. But I only steal from the rich. Fuck those Hollywood celebrities and their big paychecks.

    I would never, ever steal from a writer. I buy books. The actual rectangular objects made of paper and ink. None of that online crap.

    Now I'm not too sure on how screenwriters get paid, I doubt it's a chunk of the sales. They probably get a flat rate for writing scripts. Because well, actors are money grubbing whores. That is all.

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  144. Thanx, I think? As I writer of that online crap that eventually goes to print, I still appreciate the purchase on behalf of my fellow writers.

    back to topic: Esoteric Bullshit? Makes me think of half-doped poetic types, leaning on a tree and spouting shit about the meaning of life being worthless. Oh fun.

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  145. It's awesome if you can make money from online books and stuff. I am just not a fan of technology. Having to read a book online would make my soul bleed and my eyes burn. I feel books should be printed on paper...especially if it's that environmentally friendly rainforest paper.

    I will forever and always buy books. I support authors and all of their hard work. I know it's not an easy industry. You don't make a lot of money unless you hit it big like Rowling or even those stupid Twilight books.

    I would go all vigilante on someone for stealing from authors.

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  146. I like holding books. Walking into a large library makes my heart flutter. I have books in living colour too. Now I do both. Too bad creativity doesn't pay better.

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  147. I too get a joy out of holding books. I love the smell of them. Especially my Pagan books, they always smell like incense. I like looking at the covers wondering what kind of wonderful world I'm going to get pulled into.

    Books have character and feeling. I just don't get that from reading books online.

    I like the way the pages start to fall out of the binding because you've read it so many times.

    They are also portable. You can sit under a tree and read. Sitting with a book is a lot more comfortable and satisfying than sitting with a laptop.

    Hmm, now I'm going to go blog about how much I like books.

    And yes, it would be nice if creative people got paid better...while they're are still alive at that. None of that Van Gogh shit. I want to reap the rewards while I'm breathing.

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  148. I'm honoured, Father Gene.

    Bless me, for I have sinned.

    Haha..sorry, I just couldn't resist with the whole confession gag.

    And kudos for the review. I was just so glad I wasn't ass-raped into oblivion.

    Cheerios
    Poet

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  149. Just do what you've been told boy.

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  150. @ Gene

    Bet you say that a lot at your workplace.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.