Wednesday, June 03, 2009

May I Soliloquise Whilst Kicking Your Shins?


Sigh.

I imagine that today's reviewee does that a lot. Sighs. Without an 'About Me' I had to wade through pages and pages to try to piece together who this person is. The very first post will have to do by way of explanation:

Recently, whilst speaking to a friend about being bored, she suggested that I should start an online journal where I could soliloquise about whatever subject I wanted without having to worry if anyone was interested. So here I am, writing the first entry in what will, no doubt, become an epic collection of my various ramblings and opinions.

For Christmas I was given a fridge magnet that read: ‘Everyone is entitled to my opinion’, which I took to be an indication that, at least in my family’s eyes, I am a highly opinionated person, with no interest in keeping my ideas to myself. So perhaps this journal will not only serve to alleviate my boredom, but also that of anyone who may otherwise have been at the end of one of my rants.

So, let us begin…


Well now, isn't that just dripping with sneering and pretentious use of the English language? Having a strong command of written language is something of a novelty these days, which after having it kicked into my front teeth by the combat boots I suspect this blog wears, I might just be okay with that. I don't know what kind of footwear the actual author wears, but I do know it is not high heels. She's made that clear.

The template is drab and dreary, which is actually suiting. The font is tiny and does not encourage a painstaking wading-through of the reviewee's seemingly self-important views on the world. All of which come across as if they were conceived while sitting in front of her computer, maybe even while looking out an open window. I just had a recurring feeling that this person prefers to sit and form opinions about life rather than going outside to actually live it. She studies the world rather than taking an active part in it.

While, it may be unfair for me to make such a sweeping generalization about this person, I don't feel badly for it, because I read page after page and I still feel like calling you 'this person'. I know all about every minute detail of how you feel about all things feminist, and your bantering conversation style, but I still don't feel like I know YOU. It all comes across as being cold and robotic. And yet, I think that might just be who you really are. I just hope that's not the case.

I do believe the friend that suggested you start a blog was right to do so, and probably had very good reason. However, asking us to review it is just mean. It's mean, because you see, I feel it's necessary to sit here and read rant after rant. Why? Because that is how I produce a fair review. Now, given that you realize that not everyone wants to be privy to your ramblings, why the hell did you do this to me? I suspect it's because you are selfish, egotistical, smug, inherently full of yourself and perhaps even a tad cheeky. That is how it all comes across to your reader. Did you really want someone else's opinion? It appears as if you only value your own.

You are writing for all the right reasons, but you might consider keeping it to yourself. After all, you probably ARE the only one intelligent enough to understand all the minutiae that composes your thoughts and opinions.








I wanted to award you the Abercombie Poser rating, but you mean it, you really mean all of it. You 'fun sucked' my day.

236 comments:

  1. It's an interesting blog because of the lack information about the blogger, at least to me.

    As an aside, definitely a study in gender dynamics. If the writer were a man, the first word that would spring to mind is douche.

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  2. I had to google the title. An About Page telling why she choose it would've been nice. Also, She might want to explore the concept of shorter paragraphs. Those long blocks of small type are not very inviting. And she's only 22--where's the lightheartedness and joy? She seems much older--which she admits, so at least there's a touch of self-awareness there. Meh.

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  3. I generally like smart people, but there is such a thing as too smart for your own good. Her blog is words, words, word -- and good words, at that -- but no personality.

    I've never had so much trouble figuring out the gender of a blogger. I'm not sure what that says about the writer let alone myself, but it was a little off-putting.

    And I had the same thought as Franklin: 22?? Hello, old (stuffy) soul.

    Great review, Viv. There's a fine line between smart cookie and insufferable know-it-all.

    Oh, and Siuil A Ruin? Check out your post on the Whitney vs. Dolly version of "I Will Always Love You." You say: "being technically accurate doesn’t mean you’re any good as an artist." Think about this when you write, and give us more artistry.

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  4. P.S. I've got Celtic Woman streaming through my head now, which is not a bad thing.

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  5. Yikes! Thanks for the review. *hangs herself*

    HIF - My second post was about the title... why I chose it, what it meant to me.

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  6. By the way, (badly as I'm sure this is going to go down) might I suggest that you change your site to say that it is taking four months rather than four weeks to get reviewed?

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  7. The word pretentious comes to mind.

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  8. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 9:56 AM

    Siuilaruin: You might think about putting some links on your sidebar that take you to particular posts like the one where you talk about the blog title and of course the first one where you discuss why you are blogging.

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  9. By the way great review Viv.

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  10. Actually, Siuilaruin, that's not a bad idea. Will see about updating that. Although really it's about 3 months, since you submitted at the end of February. Demand is high!

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  11. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 10:05 AM

    Thanks, Sarah. I'm glad it was seemingly taken well and with a toss of her criticism on timeliness.

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  12. I did consider having an 'About Me' page but (dickish as this will now sound) I liked the idea of people reading what I had to say without it being coloured by what they knew about me. I didn't want people to automatically know that I was a woman or that I was 22 because that changes the way they view the validity of my opinions.

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  13. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 10:27 AM

    I remember being a 22 year old girl and thinking no one valued my opinions.

    Here's the good news, you don't have to include those facts in your About Me. Also, that only matters to you and as you come closer to being a girl in your 30's you'll realize more and more that your opinions mean less and less and mostly to you.

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  14. Opinions... Hmm.

    I'm considering whether they mean all that much to me in the blogging world. I mean, yeah, we give our opinions here at Ask 'cause that's our schtick. But on my other blog, I don't think I care all that much if people validate my opinions. Do I?

    I'm conflicted.

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  15. I want them to validate my talent (hello, EGO!), but my opinions? Still mulling that one over.

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  16. I wasn't saying I wanted people to validate my opinions, I was saying that I frequently find that people dismiss what I have to say as what 22 year old females do think...and when I grow up to be a big girl I'll think differently, so shut up until then. If I'd been 40 and male would you have patronised me? You might have called me a 'douche' but you probably wouldn't have treated me like a sulky infant.

    I'm not having a go at you, I'm just demonstrating why I didn't want an 'About Me' page.

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  17. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 10:53 AM

    Nobody is treating you like a sulky infant. And the fact that you are female is not going to stop me from telling you that you are a douche and behaving like a sulky infant.

    Being a 22 year old girl doesn't make you any less valid. Your perception that it does is simply you taking yourself too seriously.

    And it's obvious you don't need anyone to validate your opinions, you're quite sure they are right.

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  18. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 10:59 AM

    Also? When I thought you were male, I was sure you were 18 and sulky, with an IQ too large for your own good.

    Your gender played absolutely no role in my dislike of your aggressive opinions. Your aggressive opinions were the cause of my dislike.

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  19. Oh, I'm pretty sure we'd patronize most people, regardless of age.

    But even considering the likelihood of your argument, your about page is yours, and you don't have to include anything you don't want to. Leave out your age and sex if you feel so inclined, if you feel sidelined or overlooked because of them.

    I suppose, too, it depends on what you want to get out of blogging, which isn't clear to me. Maybe your about page would explain it.

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  20. SciFi Dad said that if I were a man he'd call me a douche and you said that once I get into my 30s I'll realise my opinions aren't important.

    I have frequently had people who disagree with me say that I'm only young, so what do I know? And that's apparently a winning argument.

    My point was that people often disagree with my opinions, and I wanted people to disagree with my opinion of itself rather than disagree with me because of what they know about me. If people agree with me, great, but if they disagree, I'd like them to do it for the right reasons and present their counter-argument without referring to anything other than the argument and the facts.

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  21. Why do you care if or why people disagree with you?

    Presenting yourself as something you're not -- or obfuscating yourself -- doesn't make you any more or less believable or reliable. Does it?

    And trust me, when you get older you'll have people disagreeing with you because you're old and out of touch. There's no happy ground.

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  22. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:12 AM

    I didn't say when you hit your 30's they would be unimportant.

    What I was implying is that as you get older, you'll feel less of a need to shove them other people's throats.

    Opinions are like assholes. They say this for a reason. But feelings are too. Everyone has them.

    Sometimes spouting off about your opinions of things just isn't important. If people who are older than you are patting you on the head it's because your youthful and tenacious. Not because you aren't intelligent and bright.

    You're opinions are very well formed, but you are quite like a chihuahua in your need to tell the world how strong you are.

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  23. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:13 AM

    You're and Down.

    Place them where they need to go in my previous comment.

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  24. What kind of information would you like me to provide if I'm allowed to leave out everything personal?

    VVD, I also think the British deadpan humour kind of went over your head as you didn't get my high-heels post.

    And also, did you really read most of my posts? Because while I do rant a lot, I do also talk about myself, and my tastes, and my experiences, what I want to do with my life etc. Reading your comments here, it seems more and more like you hate me because I riled you with some of my opinions? (here we go...)

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  25. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:14 AM

    I evidently was having a moment with my yours and you'res.

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  26. If age and sex are the only things you can think to provide as personal information, you're beyond my help. But since you ask: likes, dislikes, reason for blogging, beliefs, disbeliefs, hopes, dreams, nightmares, favorites, foibles, fantasies, histories.

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  27. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:16 AM

    Oh goodness, your dry Brit humour was not lost on me. My humour is dry as well.

    I did read a good majority until I got to the point where I wanted to hang myself.

    I realize you like a good argument, so I'm not going to give you one.

    You are quite like my brother. And while I see that you want to set the world on fire, why don't you just shut up and do it already instead of telling the rest of us what is so fucked up about it.

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  28. If you think we're not understanding you, fair enough, we might not be.

    But consider, too, that if we're not understanding it might not be because we don't get you or aren't familiar with your brand of humor or aren't on your level in some way, it might be because of your execution.

    Or it could be both.

    But you asked for the criticism, and you've gotten some, I think, constructive advice. You might just consider taking it.

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  29. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:23 AM

    PS. Actually, none of your opinions riled me. I agreed with quite a lot of them. Your pretentious attitude is what was off putting.

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  30. Calamity, I wouldn't put those things in an 'About Me' page because that's what I blog about.

    VVD, I'm not itching for a fight, but you gave me a pretty harsh character assassination and I think it's fair that I challenge you on it. Your review didn't really talk about my blog very much, give examples or really suggest ways to improve it, you basically just called me a cunt. I'm not trying to argue with you, I'm trying to get a bit more info out of you so that I can understand why you disliked me so much.

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  31. Siul: First of all, I could tell you were a girl right away.

    And your opinions aren't offensive, or bad. You just present then like you're a fucking asshole. Perhaps, and bear with me here, when people reference your age and say your behavior will change, they mean that you'll stop acting like an asshole who knows everything.

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  32. I guess I just feel like you're preaching to the choir.

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  33. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:30 AM

    I clearly said, your template is drab and dreary, your font too tiny, you need an About Me page because if you want people to read, you need to hook them into reading.

    I also told you to keep this shit to yourself. Because if people want to sit and hear (read) about what is what, I'm guessing they can just hang out with the local drunk hobo who doesn't have any social graces either.

    Rassles was dead on, you present your shit like an asshole. Stop it! And you just keep doing it, over and over. How much of your diatribe did you want me to read?

    I read page after page after page, until I wanted to punch you in throat just to get you to shut up. I imagine I'm not alone in that.

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  34. By the way, Viv, you were seriously spot. fucking. on. with this review.

    I like Siuil, though, because she reminds me of my little sister. A lot.

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  35. I sort of love bloggers who aren't afraid to present strong opinions. At the same time, it's nice to see those strong opinions tempered with a little humility, or a sense of wonder about the world, and sometimes a verbal shrug of the shoulders as in: I don't know. I just read her post about religion. Wow. I grew up in an oppressive, fundie cult and yet I don't HATE religion as much as this girl.

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  36. Ok then.

    I'm fairly convinced now that nothing I or anyone else suggests for improvement will be viewed with anything but contempt or contrariness. Seems like you're happy with your blog how it is, don't want to change it, and don't really want to know what others think of it.

    You've been told, by the reviewer and the commenters (who often provide a helpful addendum to our reviews), to bump up your font size, provide links to pertinent information, cut your paragraph size, find some lightheartedness and joy, pay attention to artistry as well as technical accuracy, tell us why you're blogging, recognize that your opinions aren't enough to captivate an audience, etc.

    Go forth and blog.

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  37. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:35 AM

    Thanks Rass. She reminds me of my brother too. I just want to rub her stubby head and laugh.

    Because what she isn't getting from the older crowd is just what you said. And someday she'll stop acting like a know-it-all. When that happens, she'll be awesome to have a beer with.

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  38. I'm sorry, did someone say 'character assassination'? Look, lady, if you want a real thrashing based solely on you as a person, I'll be happy to oblige. See, I kinda have the corner on that market so I don't take kindly to allegations of slander that don't have my brand stapled to them.

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  40. There is nothing wrong with having strong opinions. Its all about how you present them though.

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  41. So advice is 'Change your template and stop blogging'...ok.

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  42. It's more of a polite request, if anything, Siul.

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  43. Oh, look, I left out an 'i'. Libellous.

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  44. Who said stop blogging? I dont think anyone said that. I'm certain, that wasnt the point. The point was, stop presenting yourself as a pretentious asshole. I think.

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  45. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:43 AM

    Let me just leave you with this Siuil, you are a brat. A rotten little brat.

    You behave like a brat. Out of all of that you took change your template and stop blogging.

    The only person whose indepth that you care to listen to is your own.

    You fucking know it all, so why ask for our opinion at all? Which is what I said in my review.

    I could have spouted off all day on what you need to do, in the end, it's clearly your own preference.

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  46. I think the point is stop blogging about what you're blogging about, or stop blogging about it the way you're blogging about it.

    Or, you know, disregard us entirely. Your call.

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  47. NO - don't stop blogging. Just stop writing as if you were the only person in the world who had an opinion, ever.

    Your audience isn't retarded. In fact, some of them might be smarter than you. Don't treat them like they're pissants. Treat them like equals.

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  48. I don't want her to disappear. I like her.

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  49. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:47 AM

    You know who I think COULD treat her audience like pissants? Rassles. But she doesn't.

    She's clearly brilliant but she has this way of pulling you into her world and making you WANT to hear her opinion.

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  50. Rassles isnt a pretentious douche though.

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  51. I'm with Sarah. There's nothing wrong with giving an opinion. We all have them. I don't mind strong opinions in blogs if there is also some humility thrown in there too. Her religion blog really intrigued me. It's an interesting perspective but I'm not sure how much value to place on it because there isn't any of her personal life experience referenced in that post. She throws out all these ideas but I want to know more about her and how she came to form those opinions. What happened to her? Did she know someone that had a bad experience with religion? That would more interesting to me.

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  52. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:49 AM

    No, Rassles is not a pretentious douche.

    She's someone who's opinion you deem valuable because she's real.

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  53. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:51 AM

    Just auto-correct all of my comments today. I'm obviously rushing.

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  54. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:53 AM

    And now she's protected her blog.

    Fine, if you don't like me, you can't play with my toys.

    Harrumph!

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  55. And look, we don't pick on the youngsters needlessly. I gave 3 stars to a 19yo a while back. Too bad her blog is gone because it was lovely and entertaining and smart and engaging and honest.

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  56. Oh, no way! Really? This surprises and disappoints me. I thought she had more gumption.

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  57. Um, I know this is gonna bring some hate my way, but why is it that so many WP bloggers behave like spineless bitches?

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  58. HATE! -----> Keywork

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  59. Bwahahahahaha! Seriously. You pegged it Viv, she is a little brat. A private blog now because someone didnt agree with her? I imagine she did some foot stomping and high pitched screeching as well.

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  60. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 11:59 AM

    She was all ready for her opinions to set us all aflame and rail against her.

    In the end, her opinions were fine, her asshole delivery was not. She wasn't prepared for that.

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  61. Oh, I am a pretentious douche, and don't you guys ever forget it.

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  62. Um, I dont think you're a pretentious douche.

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  63. And I'm spent.

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  64. COME BACK! I want her to come back. I really liked her.

    Seriously, Viv, all she's doing is validating everything you said. I really, really, really wanted to her to come out swinging.

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  65. Sarah, you are incredible for thinking such things.

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  66. That's a shame. I actually thinks she's a good writer. I was going to keep reading her blog. Oh well.

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  67. Yea, well...I am kinda incredible.

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  68. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:04 PM

    It feels weird to be so right. I'm not used to it yet.

    I thought she was more chihuahua and less ostrich.

    So I was wrong on that.

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  69. I guess some folks think we don't know what we're talking about. I can't imagine why. No really. I can't.

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  70. You're complaining because you told me to keep it to myself and I followed your advice?

    I'm not pretentious, that's actually me. I'm honest on my blog, and fine, you don't like me, I get that.

    I wasn't ignoring the advice about changing my font and template, but you didn't hate my blog because of the template, you hated what I was writing, so I focussed on that.

    Part of the reason I don't share all kinds of personal information in my blogposts is because my friends have the url, and the one time I did write a very personal blogpost they all freaked out and started calling me up to talk about it. So I wrote impersonally, and while you guys obviously hate that, it's what worked for me.

    Despite that, I did talk about the experience of having a disability in one post, and recently about some of the bad things that had happened to me in the past few months, I wrote several posts about my experiences of trying to write creatively, and quite frequently about love of music, culture, films, and even the weather. You must have missed those posts.

    I'm sorry you can't play with my blog anymore, but you hated it, so why are you moaning?

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  71. No, Cal I think the thing is, she KNOWS you're right. Thats why she had herself the little temper tantrum, and took her toys home.

    Temper temper little girl...

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  72. Well, now you're just ignoring everything I said.

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  73. Siuilaruin. Please. What was it you hoped to get out of this review? What was it you expected to hear? Maybe we can work from there.

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  74. Not you, Sarah. You're sharp. Like a really shiny ballistic knife.

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  75. Y'know for a hot second, I thought you were talking to me. I actually had to scroll up and see if I had missed something you said.

    I didnt. Damn I'm sharp.

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  76. We do not want people to suck. We do not (usually -- well, often) want people to give up blogging. We just want them to be better.

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  77. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:14 PM

    You are really coming across as being quite ignorant right now.

    NOBODY told you to stop.

    Are you just trying to road block the advice?

    I read about your disability and your constant pain. I wasn't moved. Sorry.

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  78. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:16 PM

    I'm not trying to be uncaring there, what I'm saying is it still came across cold and a tad whiny.

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  79. I was hoping for something more constructive than 'you're an asshole'. In the comments you have explained more fully what I should do, like providing a more personal aspect to my blog, but in the review there isn't really any of that except asking me for an 'About Me' page, and as I explained I don't like them (from reading your past reviews I knew you'd have issues with that).

    The reason I've protected my blog is because I feel a little embarrassed about it now and don't really want anyone to read it. I'm not throwing a tantrum.

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  80. Ok, so combine the review and the comments and you've got plenty of input about what you could do to improve. But you don't want to do any of it, do you?

    What blogs do you like?

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  81. If you stand by yourself and your opinions, why would you be embarrassed? Unless, thats not really you. Was it all a front? Were you being something you really arent just because you could?

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  82. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:20 PM

    The WHOLE experience here, as Calamity pointed out, is to help you improve. Comments and all.

    What I wanted my review to illustrate is that even when FORCED to read all of your crud, I was disinterested because it was COLD and ROBOTIC.

    Your voice is pretentious.

    I can't think you are really this obtuse.

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  83. Suiliruin - I understand your feeling of embarrassment about your blog. I felt that way, too, after my review. But the truth is that your writing isn't bad. You are coming off like an asshole (apparently - I haven't read enough of what you wrote to form an opinion on that). I don't think you actually are an asshole. If you are writing cold and impersonally because you aren't anonymous, maybe you should think about starting a new blog where you can write more personally. I think it would be more interesting and maybe come off less like pontificating. I hope that makes sense.

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  84. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:23 PM

    Okay, let's take a vote. Perhaps I was wrong.

    Who did NOT take away from the review that I was saying be more personable?

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  85. If I say don't take it personally will that be impossible? Because, really, don't take it personally.

    You wanted criticism, you wanted unvarnished opinions, you got them. Ok, so the reviewer gut punched you and that doesn't feel good. But know what? Viv herself was given some really good advice cloaked in attitude and humor when she was reviewed, she took it, and her blog is awesome(r) for it. And I was, too. And so were a lot of our commenters.

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  86. Ok, why don't we just leave it there then. In February when I submitted I probably would have been able to give you the fight you clearly want (you guys are clearly the ones who want the fight, not me), but right now I don't want to have people fling mud at me.

    I'm sorry for boring you VVD.

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  87. I guess I missed the humour in the review and just saw lots of this:

    "I suspect it's because you are selfish, egotistical, smug, inherently full of yourself and perhaps even a tad cheeky."

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  89. Fuck, she's good with words, we all agree. I don't think that can even be argued. Robotic and studious is kind of her style.

    Siuil: Haven't you gotten yet that we're not looking to fight with you? At least I'm not.

    Obviously, by submitting here, you're recognizing this site as somewhat of an authority. Instead of hiding from their advice, why don't you take it?

    Now I don't like you as much as I did two hours ago, and it saddens me.

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  90. Oh lord love a duck, we do not want a fight. We want you to be a better blogger. We want you to listen to us instead of shooting down every suggestion we give you. We want to read something out of that great big noggin of yours that's warmed up with your heart and hopes instead of clinically observed and distant.

    Please?

    I'm not asking you to be other than who you are. I'm just asking you to consider another way of communicating. Seriously! What you said about Dolly is what you should be doing on the screen.

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  91. I could be going out on a limb, here, but...doesn't she kind of remind any of you guys like yourself?

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  92. Because she totally reminds me of me.

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  93. Not me, man. I was never that smart. And I would have written about boys exclusively. Well, maybe my hair.

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  94. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:34 PM

    I think I'm done here, I was not the right reviewer for this, perhaps, Cal was.

    She needs a good smack bottom and to quit pouting.

    The point of this blog is to entertain as well as as give advice. I feel my review did both.

    I didn't criticize your writing one bit! Notice that? Your attitude is the criticism and you continue to be mopey.

    Try smiling while you write.

    And she does remind me of Rassles, I said that already. And pointed out that Rassles is personable and makes you want to hear her opinion

    Cripes, is this really happening?

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  95. No Viv, you were on target. You're not a coddler. Work it.

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  96. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:38 PM

    And this:

    "I suspect it's because you are selfish, egotistical, smug, inherently full of yourself and perhaps even a tad cheeky."

    Was in regards to her asking for a review when she clearly said in her first post that she was ranting there so that people who didn't want to hear it didn't have to.

    All of this, could have been summed up with a freaking ABOUT ME! To help us understand where the hell you are coming from.

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  97. Vivian - your review was great. This blogger is being too sensitive.

    Rassles - She does remind me of me. So much. I definitely threw a temper tantrum after my review. Woe is me. I suck. Wah, Wah, Wah. Hopefully, after the "wound" heals she'll actually think about what was said and improve her blog.

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  98. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:46 PM

    Also? Is it me, or is the "hard core feminists" who take criticism the worst?

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  99. Viv Von D, you are the mother fucking blog review pimp! You, my friend, rock the blog reviews. You were spot on in your review.

    As I read some of the comments after you seem to be second guessing yourself a bit.

    Stop it, it was a just review.

    Viva los Rassles

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  100. You'd think they'd be tough enough to stick it.

    But then again, feminism isn't about being tough, it's about being accepted for who you are...

    So we're like totally the anti-feminists, right now, due to our heavy misanthropy.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Dammit, I'm really pissed she blocked the blog.

    Because I'm quite certain that more than a few of the blogs I read are written by people that I might not get on too well with in real life, but for some reason or another, because of some human element or something in their writing, I want to go back for more. Who knows, maybe I see some of myself that I don't like in them. (Nobody here, yo, I'd totally have beers with all ya'lls).

    I don't understand the unswerving opinions on the blog combined with a blocked blog after a negative review (albeit a very helpful one). It's inconsistent. Decide who you are. Unshakable or not. Make up yo mind.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 12:55 PM

    Thanks, Chris.

    It just seems like she needs to be cuddled more and gently instructed.

    I think she should be really happy that Love Bites didn't review her.

    And as much as I hate to say it, age is playing part in her response.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Look, I didn't want this review. I wanted it in February when I thought it would be done in 'up to four weeks'. In February I would have been fine with it. Now, in June, I'm not. My life and my personality have changed quite significantly. I've taken enough kickings recently and a blog review that was full of personal insults rather than reviewing the blog was not what I needed.

    Yeah, in 2007 when I wrote my first post I was just writing out of boredom for a few friends to read when they were interested. A year and a half later I'm just writing what's on my mind for anyone who wants to read.

    If there had been an option to retract my blog from the list to be reviewed I would have done that.

    I took what you said personally because it was personal. My blog contains my true, heartfelt feelings and opinions. You didn't criticise my blog as much as you criticised me. I expected a grilling, but I thought it would be about my blog, not about me.

    Maybe I'm being oversensitive, I'm sure that's how I seem, but I didn't think your review was funny, I thought it was just cruel.

    ReplyDelete
  104. sometimes people just need to grow the fuck up.

    Oh, and not having an About Me page? I usually just close the window out of irritation. I want something that tells me why in the fuck I should dig through your blog to find out little clues about who you are. I don't care if gender and age are left out, , more power to ya if you think it will help people swallow your opinions by not telling them. On the other hand, any douche that would disregard my opinions because of my gender or age can fuck off and I don't care if they never read my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Oh man, seriously...it was just a review. Put your big girl panties on and take some of the advice. You dont have to take all of it, hell you dont have to take ANY of it if you dont want to.

    Here is a pointer, if you're an asshole, be an asshole. Commit to it. Do it with heart. Dont run away with your tail between your legs.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Cruel? Have some fucking cranberry juice. Jesus. You wouldn't know cruel if it stabbed you in your face. Now, I'm mad.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 1:04 PM

    Everyone chant with me:

    I am not my blog.

    I am not my Ikea coffee table.

    There is no way I could personally insult you. I don't know you. I know the voice you write in.

    It is pretentious. I'm not the only one who thinks so. If you are not pretentious then you are now aware of how you come across.

    Don't hate it, change it.

    You are smart! You write well. So us who you are! I said your blog was cold and robotic, and I hope that you aren't too.

    Goodness, Siuil. You need a hug.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 1:06 PM

    This is why I didn't hang out with 22 year olds when I was 22.

    So very sensitive. Like little baby ducklings.

    ReplyDelete
  109. SiuliRuin - you should just consider how you came across to the people that had the chance to have a look at your blog. Sometimes you need an objective point of view.

    For me it isn't that easy to distinguish the blog from the person. when you ask for a blog review, there are three things that can be reviewed, your template, your writing, and your content.

    If your template sucks, you'll still get a reader out of me (although if you don't have an about me page you might lose me instantly). If your writing blows, or your content tells the world you are a dick, you won't get a reader out of me.

    So in what way was your blog not reviewed?

    ReplyDelete
  110. I fucking love baby ducks! She is not a baby duck. I do not fucking love her. I dont hate her. But I really dont love her.

    ReplyDelete
  111. She will play the physical ailment card within the next three posts.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Oh for heaven's sake. It's a review from a stranger that you asked for. There are two things in particular that are obviously sticking in your craw: the fact that we took longer than we said we would (apologies), and that once sentence in the whole review and subsequent comments that was, ok, maybe a bit personal.

    But, yeah, you are being oversensitive, and I know it's easy to do because it's your words and your thoughts and your opinions and we didn't give you stars. That sucks. I didn't much like my own review at first.

    So, sorry for the delay -- that's our bad. But we can't be sure we dole out the reviews on good days, you know?

    And as much as I love us (and I DO!) and think we're awesome and helpful and funny and right most of the time, it is just a review from a stranger. If you love your blog, if you like what you're doing and it fulfills you in some way and your readers like it, too, then who the crap cares what we think? I shouldn't have to tell you that.

    But on the off chance you want to be a better blogger, then take a step back from it, try to be objective, ignore your pricked pride, and consider our suggestions.

    ReplyDelete
  113. I feel like Siuil is completely ignoring me here, and that frustrates me.

    ReplyDelete
  114. One, not once. Slippery.

    ReplyDelete
  115. She's completely ignoring everything except that Viv insulted her and we took forever to review her.

    ReplyDelete
  116. I think you're right Rass. You should tell her how you feel...oh wait, she wont listen. She'll stuff her fingers in her ears and go "lalalalala! I cant heeeeear youuuuu!"

    ReplyDelete
  117. I don't know about y'all but I'm fucking exhausted.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 1:14 PM

    I'm wiped out. This chick is high maintenance.

    Oops. There's that misogyny again.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Someone once told me that we all suffer from terminal uniqueness and we need to get outside our own heads.

    Good advice here, I think.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Don't feel bad, Rass, I'm being ignored all around today.

    ReplyDelete
  121. I try to ignore Rassles' coolness just to be reminded of her sweetness.

    Just as I think I can think of nothing else VVD throws out a review that rocks so hard the level that she rocks at can't be measured by human rock-measuring devices.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Rass - Ghost - You matter to ME, dammit!

    ReplyDelete
  123. I don't understand this lady. There are 2 ways to go about things

    1) Fuck you I don't care about anything you say
    2) Man, that's some criticism, there's a lot of ribbing that I can choose to ignore but good pointers I can use.

    By submitting here, you are going the way of approach #2.

    When I got my review I didn't agree with any of the opinions the reviewer had about "me". I reasoned I only had my writing to blame and took what advice I wanted out of it.

    By the way, reviewers, you do enter a site with preconceptions when you find out it's by someone under 25. The prevailing feeling seems to be "meh, he/she is 21, how much can he/she know?".

    ReplyDelete
  124. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 1:20 PM

    I honestly do not have that perception about age. I think you can rock hard at 22.

    ReplyDelete
  125. I'm not ignoring what you have to say.

    The reason I have mentioned that it took you longer than you said to review me, was to explain why I'm not as shouty and strong as you think my blog implies I should be. I wanted a review a few months ago and a few months ago I would have taken it very well. You're asking why I would submit if I take it personally, and I wouldn't submit my blog now. That was the point I was making. You were all asking why I wasn't consistent, that's why. My recent posts have been different from what I used to write.

    You upset me, not with just that one line, but it's not very nice being called an asshole or a cold robot either.

    It's not a case of me not wanting to take your advice. You want me to change the way I write because I alienate people. If I continue to write I will bear that in mind, but you didn't really express it like that in the review.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Oh, everyone matters! We should totally hug.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 1:25 PM

    Aww, Chris, I'm having a good hair day too.

    Siuil - honey? You are wound too tight and are obviously emotional.

    And of course, hugging is what we're all about.

    Don't mess up my hair.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Rassles, you little rascal, let's hug a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Oh, don't you fucking DARE stop blogging because of this lot.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 1:28 PM

    Okay, okay, you got me, I meant you are a cold robot and an asshole. I meant every single bit of that and I meant it all about YOU, who I don't even know.

    You asshole.

    This was totally written sarcastically. Let's be clear!

    Love,
    Vivi
    Cold Robot Knower of Everything

    ReplyDelete
  131. Cold Robot Knower of Everything

    - Is that like an...omnibot?

    ReplyDelete
  132. Vivian VonDoom6/03/2009 1:31 PM

    Rassles, you totally got me, it is an Omnibot.

    Siuil has been omnibotted!

    ReplyDelete
  133. We have a site with the URL "I will fucking tear you apart." Nice is not what we aim for. Just to be clear.

    And I'm the nice one.

    ReplyDelete
  134. I refuse to coddle her. She is being ridiculous. I'll hug you guys, but I'm not going to hold her hand and beg her to keep blogging. Seriously, if this review and the comments that followed force her to stop blogging, then she really is just a whiny little brat.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Aww, BB.

    Hug her!

    She will fight at first, then she will see how nice it feels.

    How different, how naughty and yet exciting. She will pull away at first and then melt into you ample chest.

    She looks up at you with a mix of anger tempered with surprise. Surprise at these new feelings that make her warm and a bit tingly.

    Hug her!

    Chrisrotica bitches

    ReplyDelete
  136. You might get some of us to defend you had you left your blog up. On second thought...

    if you don't like the way you were blogging initially, all the more reason to start an About Me page. Dude will someone shut me up about About Me pages? But if someone doesn't have one and I'm actually really interested in their blog, I tend to go to the first two posts too.

    I just don't think that three months has enough of an effect on someone for them to react differently to a review. On second thought, when you're 22, three months is a long fucking time. You guys are like in dog years.

    But we're all hugging right now, hu?

    ReplyDelete
  137. Cal - It's clear to everyone except those who get reviewed here, evidently.

    And you are the nice one!

    ReplyDelete
  138. She is kinda reminding me of my son when he gets wicked over tired. And he is fucking 8 years old!

    Maybe she just needs a nap and then some animal cracker and a juice box?

    ReplyDelete
  139. I think age does matter, Than, you're right. I have preconceived notions about damn near everything. But I think I can admit when I'm wrong. And I was wrong about you in some ways. And I freaking promise I'm going to re-review you. Really. Really really.

    Damn I'm slack.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Whatever, Cal, you were totally right about Thanny.

    "Mister The World Is A Vampire" sticks with me to this day.

    And I use it.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Im gonna marry the first girl that lets me call her juice box.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Bobby Finstock6/03/2009 1:37 PM

    She just needs a good ass kicking and a hair werewolf on her basketball team.

    Perhaps a good hand of poker.

    And a Keg.Of.Beer.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Of course, I liked Thanny right away, because I was able to see past his emo hair and the fact that he cuts himself, then salts the wounds with his tears.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Calamity, you really are the nice one.

    What I do like here is absolute treatment of writing. Stuff like "she writes great, for a 16 year old" is lame, and it's a good thing the reviewers don't do that. At the same time, you guys make the 30s and 40s sound so damn boring. Sigh.

    I'm a bit cranky because I'm hungry.

    ReplyDelete
  145. My brother tried to punch me in the face when I called him a hipster the other day.

    He didn't even know who Animal Collective was.

    ReplyDelete
  146. pssst, Thanny: You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Rass, he totally ignored you!

    ReplyDelete
  148. Rassles, you just described my typical Wednesday night.

    ReplyDelete
  149. what kind of self-respecting hipster doesn't know about Animal Collective?

    ReplyDelete
  150. Rass - Do you have on your cloak of invisibility?

    Your 30's and 40's aren't boring, it's just the point in your life where you finally relax and quit giving such a big shit about things like being cool and hip.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Than, do you really want me to re-review when you quite glaringly have THREE COLUMNS!?

    ReplyDelete
  152. Well that's just it, he wanted to punch me for calling him a hipster.

    I think he was just denying knowing who Animal Collective was at that point so he could still claim he wasn't a hipster.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Aww, Rassles I'd totally hit on you if you weren't so god damned smart.

    Sarah : hush now.

    ReplyDelete
  154. I have three columns. And? I have a new design sitting her waiting, but it only has two columns. It feels lonely.

    I like three columns, it's like a Betsey Booms sandwich.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Should I consider it a badge of honor that I don't know what Animal Collective is? Or should I be ashamed? Let me know, ok? I don't know what to feel otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Cal, I use 2 columns, it's an awfully wide page now. Must be your monitor resolution.

    ReplyDelete
  157. I totally had three columns once upon a time. It was hard to give up.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Cal,

    Animal Collective was the drummer on the Muppet show.

    ReplyDelete
  159. I see three columns, Than. The one with the posts, the one with the blogroll, and then another one.

    Also, there is no link to Ask. How dare you!

    ReplyDelete
  160. Animal Collective is the latest band that hipsters name-drop when they try to be cool. Like, before? The It Hipster band was TV on the Radio, and then they played on the Colbert Report and everyone had to stop liking them because they were too mainstream.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Nuh-uh.

    I'm kind of gullible.

    ReplyDelete
  162. What about Arcade Fire, they had the spot for a minute too.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Thank god I have you to translate for me, Rass. I'm all, "Don't you just love Steve Miller?"

    ReplyDelete
  164. Keep on a-rockin' me, babe.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Yeah, Arcade Fire was up there too, and then they got nominated for a grammy, and the hipsters were all like, "Fuck it, losers, we're going to find another shitty/but not shitty band to be obsessed with."

    ReplyDelete
  166. Oh! Newest hipster obsession in Chicago: Company of Thieves.

    They're going to be huge. Tell your friends so they can be on top of things.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Dude. I thought you just meant Chicago. Like, "You're the Inspiration," and I was so pleased.

    ReplyDelete
  168. WTF is the deal with 311 putting out another album.

    Just proof that all of the Mid-west does NOT like 311.

    Omaha freaks.

    Oh, I hate Omaha.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Huh. That's not good. It's supposed to look like this

    Yeah, my bad about the pic. I'll get in when I get home.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Nevermind, Than. I was looking at the wrong blog. Tee-hee!

    ReplyDelete
  171. Oh yeah, 311 still exists? What's that about?

    ReplyDelete
  172. Whee. I can breathe again!

    ReplyDelete
  173. Rass - I know, blew my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  174. AND: When the fuck did Omaha become like, this cool place?

    ReplyDelete
  175. "OMG, Conor Oberst is a genius, blahgitty fucking blah."

    ReplyDelete
  176. I think Rassles is pissed.

    ReplyDelete
  177. I really, really, really need to work now.

    ReplyDelete
  178. I have known too many people from Omaha, all of them were super cool, but they all left Omaha, for a reason.

    It sucks there.

    ReplyDelete
  179. I thought Omaha was a myth.

    ReplyDelete
  180. I like my pretentious bloggers unrepentant.

    I miss Driz.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Every single time someone mentions Driz, a single tear drifts down my cheek.

    Now there was a verbal warrior.

    I mean, Gok is a better warrior than Driz because he's more fun.

    But Driz? He had that "I'm so brilliant, no one understands me due to the massive size of my ego and brain, I'm just trying to make the world better by being abusive" quality that you just don't find that often in people.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Deadliest Warrior - GoK VS. Driz

    ReplyDelete
  183. Yeah, not like Shaka Zulu VS. Willliam Wallace

    ReplyDelete
  184. Um, how hot was the Scottish William Wallace expert, by the way?

    ReplyDelete
  185. Oh, yeah. GoK. Driz would just roll his eyes, which is completely ineffectual in fisticuffs.

    ReplyDelete
  186. Thank you for the ego boost. Ghost, in the brothel, with the axe, wearing the technicolor jock.

    ReplyDelete
  187. Oh, Rassles, there are no words. The second he opened his mouth... Sigh

    It became my new favorite show.

    ReplyDelete
  188. The breaking point for me was Yakuza vs. Mafia.

    Because that Mafia weapons specialist? Yeah. He blows my mind with his face.

    ReplyDelete
  189. Again leaving the review alone because there's already been more than enough said (and because I have absolutely nothing to add due to the fact that I spent all this time reading the comments and now her blog's shut down so I can't look at it either). How's that for a long ass sentence!

    Anyway, the mere mention of hot Deadliest Warrior weapons geeks has me commenting post haste. Those William Wallace guys - wow. Which one are you referring to, Rassles? The older guy with the glasses or the bearded guy with the way hot accent? Both were way hot in my horny middle aged woman opinion.

    Also, I find myself wanting to shout ZULU! whenever I have to drive aggressively on the freeway.

    ReplyDelete
  190. But it was horseshit when they didn't get any hot Irish IRA experts on there. Michael Collins' nephew is cool and all, but I wanted, you know. Colin Farrell. Or Daniel Day Lewis like In the Name of the Father.

    ReplyDelete
  191. ZULU

    (and I'm talking about Kieran Whateverhisfaceis. Scottish hotness.)

    ReplyDelete
  192. Were any of these people gingers? Because my imagination needs them to be.

    ReplyDelete
  193. There is one semi-ginger. He's the shows token dorky techno-geek.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.