Wednesday, July 01, 2009

If You Don't Have a Hobby, You Always Have A Buzzy Buddy

Ten years ago, I spent the first year of my daughter's life slowly going insane. Part of it I spent shut in the house with my in-laws, who were suffering through all the ailments that come along with a diagnosis of cancer and the subsequent treatments. Yes, both of them. The other part, I spent feeling alone, in a place where I knew no one, had no friends and the best company I could scrape up was my infant daughter. It wasn't bad company, it just wasn't what I was in desperate need of.

The beauty of the blogosphere is that there is a little something out there for everyone. If I had access to something like Sleepless Nights, I would have been grateful, so very grateful. I might not have gone as crazy as I did, I might not have been as lonely as I was, and I would have had someone who understood. Someone to relate to that could share her experience.

Veronica has been through the wringer. She recently lost someone very close to her because of that beast, cancer. She's dealt with fertility issues and personal ailments. And through it all, she smiles, she laughs and she masturbates.

The girl talks about vibrators... a lot. Don't believe me? Look:

Here

Here
and
Here

She also talks about her boobs... a lot.

Here
Here
and
Here

Living in Tasmania and raising two children, has its share of hilarity and intriguing moments. Veronica is a SAHM who is not afraid to share anything. And, I do mean anything.

She holds nothing back and puts it all out there with a small nod to the fact that she may be providing too much information or offending the delicate sensibilities of people like...

Well like me.

Veronica's blog may have been my cup of tea ten years ago. Today? Eh, not so much. There were moments I found myself on the verge of gagging and literally cringing. Which is not an entirely bad thing, I'm just not big on the details of breastfeeding. But, there are so many out there that are.

The template is clean and neat. It's well organized, uncluttered and easy to navigate. I have no issues with it, but I'm not thrilled by it either. It's there, it's good. Whatever.

I have the feeling that Veronica is the kind of woman that I could sit and have hours of conversation with, all of it heavily laced with the word 'fuck'. My only real complaint about her writing is that she tends to go on. It's something we've said before and we'll keep saying it. Editing is key. Not just for errors but for content. I love the way she writes, matter of fact, yet conversational. She's funny and entertaining, but just a bit long.

Veronica will make you laugh and let you share in her sadness. She'll also make your belly button tweezle with discomfort. Yes, I'm making up words now. And, through it all, I found myself just loving her. She has a spirit that can't be broken.

Darling, I give you this with a hug and a pat on your back:






Just one more thing though. Who has this much time on their hands?

50 comments:

  1. That Jellybaby post is hilarious.

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  2. Viv, the third vibrator link is buggered.

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  3. Jellybaby porn? Funny shit. Reminds me of "furniture porn"

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  4. Have not read the blog, already have a boner.

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  5. so cool. I love posts about rubbin' one out. I love vibes too. Yay! thanks for the new blog to follow.

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  6. Vivian VonDoom7/01/2009 1:25 PM

    Alright, I'm on it. That's what she said.

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  7. Ditto. I'm totally going to be reading this one. Glad she has a 'best of' section that I'm going to go read...right now. Also, I love that she talks about vibrators and boobs a lot.

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  8. Fucking loved her from day one.

    The blog doesn't TRY to be anything, it's a 100% reflection of how she carries herself.

    Funny, happy, sad, coping, fighting, tearing while masturbating, dislocating, celebrating, helping, and just getting on with it all when the world has turned to shit.

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  9. Long-time reader/lurker. Had to come out now to say this:

    Editing is key.
    Yes, indeed. Especially when you're writing a review pointing out other people's mistakes. It's "wringer" not "ringer" (Veronica has been through the ringer)

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  10. Vivian VonDoom7/01/2009 2:07 PM

    Eh, good eye.

    I'll go with sorry.

    Editing is key. And, I'm typically half-crocked when I write.

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  11. Does anyone else find it hilarious that so many more lurkers are squeaking out just to point out editing mistakes in reviews, as if they're trying to knock down any credibility this site has earned and simultaneously be a little know-it-all?

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  12. Untill Jesus gets a blog I dont believe anyone out there hasnt made a spelling, syntax or getting a BJ from a tranny mistake.

    Can anyone hack css, Im gonna kill myself if I have to look at my header anymore.

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  13. Know-it-all's deserve to be keister punched.

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  14. If Jesus had a blog, I'd be all, "Hey Jesus, you made a mistake..."

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  15. BB: And I'd be all, 'Look, he REALLY is BLACK!'

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  16. Ghost: Right? And then I'd be all, ha, he better change his header picture then.

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  17. I'd get real sick of Jesus' "My old man always used to say" stories.

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  18. Or what about his stories where he's all, "This one time, I made water into wine..."

    So old.

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  19. For me it's not the typo's that bother me. Anyone can make a typo. It's the constant, one per sentence typos that get on my nerves and just distracts me to no end.

    Getting a BJ from a tranny. That's pretty damn funny Chris.

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  20. Seriously, Jesus, shut the fuck up.

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  21. Yeah, I don't know if I would add Jesus to my reader all. I don't know if i can go for that kind of fucking hyperbole.

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  22. See I just had a typo in my previous point. But Jesus forgives me.

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  23. Remember that one time when Jesus was multiplying fish, and we were all, "Bitch, where's my bacon" And he just gave us dirty looks?

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  24. Or remember how pissed off he was when I said, "You know, if you'd just teach the man to fish..."

    He went off on that rant about how was "fucking performing miracles over here" or some shit.

    Whatever, but my favorite was when he tried to heal all the zombies at the Halloween party because he thought they were lepers.

    Whew! Man, that Jesus can mix a drink though.

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  25. Jesus pwns Santa anyday.

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  26. Yeah, but the son of a bitch only makes Merlot.

    Mix it up, Christ.

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  27. True, but when having a dinner party, as long as you're serving beef, you wanna have him there in case you run out.

    Of course when you eat your bread, he makes that joke about "eat me!".

    So awkward.

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  28. You know who needs to start hanging out more? Judas. I liked that guy.

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  29. And you know every story will be interrupted with "that aint shit, I came back to life! Top that beetached!'

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  30. Yeah, but you know then he brings those other 11 guys and they want to have a big supper and you know, it gets to be a lot.

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  31. Especially with Jesus when he starts drinking and saying someone will betray him.

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  32. And then we've gotta start asking Jesus for favors, because it's late and all the pizza places stopped delivering and people are drunk and hungry.

    Fuck it. I don't want to hang out with any of those guys.

    I don't trust guys in flip flops anyway.

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  33. You know who might be fun? Satan. Doesn't give a shit about your grammar either.

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  34. Actually Satan's a bitch with those apostrophes. He didn't get to rule hell just like that.

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  35. Nicely reviewed, Viv. I think I'll be adding her to my reader. I mean, vibrators. She's a woman after my own heart.

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  36. Thanny, when you say "just like that" are you snapping your fingers? Because in my head you cant snap your fingers. Dont know why.

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  37. Can't
    Don't

    Damn you, Satan!

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  38. Satan can be kind of demanding though, what with his "sell me your soul" bullshit.

    Fucking needy bitches.

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  39. Right.

    I think we just have to agree, if your shit shows up in the Bible you are dead to us.

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  40. Into my reader she goes.
    And you, Mizz VDoom, want me to get my crow bar for the editing whiz?
    You know I'd back your ass up even in sub zero conditions. Well, as long as you offer me cigarettes and Diet Coke.

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  41. Vivian VonDoom7/01/2009 6:04 PM

    And that, MG? Is why I want to cuddle your little smoking, DC drinking self.

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  42. Thankyou so much, I had gotten my big girl panties ready and everything. (FYI big girl panties are not sexy. They just sort of hold my shit together for me)

    Editing. Yes. Not always my strong point, but I'll do better. And sorry for making your belly button tweezle.

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  43. Never run a Craigs List personal add, even as a goof. You get this.


    whats up? its big suprised ok i realy like your entrodaction and i want to mee you

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  44. Never run a Craigs List personal add, even as a goof. You get this.


    whats up? its big suprised ok i realy like your entrodaction and i want to mee you

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  45. I'm going to start writing about my vibrators more. I didn't realize how popular they were. Give the people what they want.

    I like this blog. A lot.

    Jesus hates me so I wouldn't read his blog. But hate sex with Jesus would be really hot. I have problems.

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  46. Rasso : Didn't know I could/had to snap fingers with "just like that". In any case, you're right, my finger snaps sound like a hiss.

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  47. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


    Margaret

    http://howtomakecompost.info

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  48. It agree, this amusing message

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Grow a pair.