Monday, August 24, 2009

The Slackers Were Onto Something

A guest review from Allison Chains.
Do you ever get the feeling we’re going to look back on this as the Decade of the Geek? The ten year span in which the little brothers and sisters of the Grungers finally came into their own angst, but without the flannel? And that in another ten years, telling a girl that “I had a hard time in high school – I was a geek” will get you absolutely NO sympathy tail, because everyone was a fucking geek? I gotta level with you here – I may be suffering from geek burn-out.

Today’s reviewee is The Badass Geek. So, this should go well.

The first time I opened this guy’s blog, I fell a little in love. Because if I was basing this review on design alone, oh hells yeah, he’d get an “I Fucking Love You”, and I’d be out back with a ciggie. Clean, black on white, easy to navigate, not too many doodads in the sidebar. Archives, nicely laid out, ready for me to paw my way through. An About page with nearly the perfect amount of information. A “Best Of” list that intrigues. The only design downfall: I’m not a fan of the Twitter feeds that are popping up on everyone’s sidebars. Because if you want me to take you seriously, and I think this dude does, using this symbol ( <3 ) isn’t going to make me want to get to know you any better. (What in the crap is that, anyway? Makes me think of Peter Griffin’s chin. And I don’t want to think about Peter Griffin’s chin.)

Badass Geek, or BAG as he refers to himself, can write. Well. His grammar, punctuation and spelling leave absolutely nada to be desired. Dude should probably teach some lessons. At first, his posts felt a little longish. Like he was using 500 words, where someone else could have used 50. But once I got into the rhythm, let my brain go a little fuzzy, I realized he just really likes language. “Geeks” out over it, if you will. I’d still encourage him to find a middle ground – consider each word: is it essential? If not, sum it up and move along.

BAG writes a lot of humor. But for some reason, I’m not usually laughing. To quote the venerable Nelson Muntz, “It’s funny, but not ha-ha funny.” It’s like BAG’s big ‘ol brain gets in his way. He over thinks the shit out of something, overwrites it, and some of the funny leaks just sort of leaks away. For instance, in this case, do we really need all SEVEN dictionary definitions for awkward? (Answer: No.) This one is a funny story (For the love of god, there’s puke. Right there, insta-comedy.) And yet, by needing to include every single step, doing all the work for the reader, it loses what it could have had. Also, you’re a creative guy. Which is why there is NO REASON ON EARTH to do 7 (seven) separate posts in the space of one year on search terms people used to find your blog. Stop it.

Here’s what I’d like to see you do. The next time you’re getting ready to write a post, tell the story out loud. See what parts make people’s eyes glaze, see which parts make their eyes widen, where they get excited about what’s coming next. Write accordingly.

In the end, I think BAG is a writer. And this blog is a fun place for him, to come and talk about bodily functions, his wife, the day to day, and to build a community. You’re doing some good, solid work, here BAG. Just try not to work so hard. Stop being careful; let the posts happen. Borrow from the previous decade’s ethos, learn how to slack.

I’m giving you two bright, shiny stars. Do with them what you will.

14 comments:

  1. I read the first post and cried. Not because it was sad, or because it blew me away, but because shit about dogs makes me cry.

    So not cool.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't you just hate it when you get hives on your harms?

    I just hate that.

    Ok, maybe the world's worse typist shouldn't be bitching about a simple typo, but man, read your own stuff before you click publish.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Allison Chains is the best name ever. Christ, I wish I was half that clever.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That 'Quote of the week' has been around for a while now. Not that it's not nice (it's brilliant).

    ReplyDelete
  5. I vote for "Suck it geeks"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the review. I appreciate your input and your honesty, which is why I submitted for review here in the first place. I agree with your suggestions for improvement, and I will take them to heart.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Want to know how lazy I am? No? Oh well, deal with it 'cause I'm gonna tell you anyway. I adore BAG but am too lazy to put him into my reader. I just keep up with him via his comments on a blog we both read.
    See? Mother fuckin' lazy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Let me tell you how lazy I am. I need a new quote, and I'm too lazy to find one.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Suck it geeks, its so lame on many levels.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm leaning towards Rassle's first comment on this post.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I want to wear Rassles' ass as a hat

    ReplyDelete
  12. Chris, did you just watch City Slickers or something?

    ReplyDelete
  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I did not know that line is in there. I also want to cover you with buttered nickels.

    Just saying

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.