Friday, August 21, 2009

Way Way Bad



This review courtesy of guest reviewer, Lolita LeBruise.

Okay, kids, I had a kind of popular lesbian/parenting/middle-age miasma blog for a few years and just shut it down. Love Bites, who sadly is not a lesbian, but a slutty little man-magnet, apparently felt I’d have a little time on my hands. So, she handed me my first assignment: The Way Way Up Blog.

Okay, let me put on my best Salmonberries parka and get started. The template is boring blue Blogger. Anyone who has requested a blog review here ought to know better – I mean did you read the rules? Even I knew better when I was reviewed a few years ago. But, I failed miserably. The next day, I got down on my knees before LB offering her anything to look at my blog again only to find she is strictly a slutty little man-magnet and I could continue to kneel to no avail or just rebuild my damn blog. I did.

This blogger is a young man who has made his career teaching in the uppermost reaches of northern Canada in the newest territory, Nunavut, which is the least populated and geographically the largest. Thanks Wikipedia - because even after reading this for quite some time, I had no idea beyond the random ice berg photo, where he might be blogging from. We could chalk it up to my geographic ignorance of an obscure Canadian territory, or we could just blame the blogger who can’t be bothered to draw new readers by letting us know why we’d ever want to know where he is or who he is. I vote blame the blogger.

While reading this blog, I just kept shaking my head saying, “Has he actually met any of the people in his life?” What had the potential to be a poignant “To Sir, With Love” or “Stand and Deliver” kind of blog is merely a litany of questionably studied opinions and the mundane day-to-day tasks that are his life. What could have been an exciting National Geographic adventure is a bunch of lifeless photography. What could have been an adventure in discovering the Inuit people and the descendents of the original European settlers through their stories and lore is post after post of soulless, dry lessons in history and culture with no connection to the people who actually lived it. Even his stories about his family, whom I would assume he knows fairly well, come across with all the flavor of cardboard.

The only times I detected the faintest heartbeat was when he defends seal hunting. His rant against Sarah MacLachlan sure told her. Uh, huh – take that Sarah – and may your musical dry spell continue! Yeah! My personal favorite is his Nazi/seal hunt comparison – um, don’t know if he thought of this, but we might actually formulate the thought that some people might think both are bad. It’s a complicated issue, seal hunting by indigenous peoples, but his trite rants do nothing to advance his case. Logic and reason aren’t his strong suits. Hopefully, he doesn’t teach math.

I finally gratefully tumbled headlong down the iceberg into the hungry polar-bear filled waters after reading the most recent post on the need for social workers in the area. His solution? Parents need to do a better job. He opines that some parents suck and some children might be better off on the street. Alert the media. I wanted to pick him up and slap some emotion into him. We’ve all heard it, but why do you feel this way? What have you seen? Who have you met? Give it some soul to illustrate the point without the banal conclusion.

The Inuit have many sociological and economic challenges and a rich and vibrant history and hearing about them and the European descendants in the area could have made for fascinating reading.

Summary: Blog template sucks, stories have no life, blog has no direction. It’s not a travel blog, a study in culture, a look at education, or a place of personal introspection.

He wants to take his posts and write a book. Heh. Yeah, this is the next Julie & Julia. But, good news; he has a new blog and a new job posting in yet another place that he will totally miss. Oh, and he’s a new dad. It’s got the best of the worst of daddy blogging written all over it with his scintillating post on contemplating the greater unpleasantness of baby poop over baby pee.

I give him a big:

14 comments:

  1. Anyone that compares anything to a Nazi(other than a real Nazi) is retarded.

    Use your words.

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  2. Making comments on a blog about the retarded is probably something the Nazis would have done.

    Just kidding, Chris. I agree that he should try real hard to come up with something on his own. I don't have much hope though -- did you read his blog?

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  3. Lolita,

    I'd walk through the snow barefoot if you'd spank his new blog, too.

    Nice review!

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  4. Nope, didnt read, after lol said she was a lesbian I spent 20 mins imaging her and LB having a sexy tits fight that leads to scissoring.

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  5. That header just begs for a different photo. I googled Inuit and saw some amazing faces--faces that would want to make me read more. The current one just makes me glad I'm not there.

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  6. Everyone is always imagining that about LB... stupid heterosexual tendencies ruining all those fantasies.

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  7. You know those het lesbian fantasies you fellahs seem to have? Nowhere near as good as the real thing (LB are you listening?)

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  8. What's with the run on arctic bloggers? Does the endless daylight make them hungry for evaluation?

    And I'm just kind of sad that neither of them was more interesting. I know lots of people who lived up there, and they're all delightfully wacky. These dudes, not so much. Bummer.

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  9. We arctic bloggers are something of a community. I think they both submitted just after I linked to my review. It makes me wonder which other people from our little group might be in the queue.

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  10. Whenever someone really stupid wants to make a ridiculous comparison-- it's always about the Nazis.

    I'd rather hear about the potential lesbian wrestling...

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  11. Is it wrong that I like that the lesbians like me so much and have dirty thoughts about me?

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Grow a pair.