Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: cut that out, already

Hey kids! Ginny of Praying to Darwin here. Madame Bellicose asked me to fill in, do a review, post SOMETHING for the love of god. She sends her regrets, and will be back as soon as she can. I'm not at liberty to give any details; suffice it to say that when you are picking a "safe" word for the evening, maybe avoid citrus fruits, because in the heat of the moment, it's hard to remember whether it was "tangerine" or "clementine" that meant stop. And by the time you remember which was which, or even which one has seeds, enough time has elapsed for some really freaky shit to go down.

But I digress.

If you were to hack into my email, right now (don't though, please, because I am far too busy/lazy to change my passwords), you'd find a metric butt load of forwards. Forwards from well-meaning folks. Folks who think that by forwarding mildly racist jokes and kookily captioned pictures, they are making my day. And maybe making me think that they, by association, are funny. But they don't make me laugh. They make me sad. Sad that I wasted my time. Sad that although these (mostly semi-elderly) people have figured out the gull-durned interwebs, they're only using it to spam me with this crap.

I read blogs to get away from that.

And then I get to review Venom, Secrets, & Lies.

Uh oh.

Because Venom doesn't just let these high-LARIOUS forwards sit in her inbox. Nope. She turns 'em into posts. A lot. Of posts.

And when she's not posting tired email forwards, she's flogging the living shit out of something called To the point where I wonder what these people have on her. (In a post where she contemplates shutting the blog down, she second guesses herself based solely on the idea that changing her blog will get her punted by these people. That scares me.)

So it would be easy to dismiss her.

But I can't.

Because when she just lets loose and tells you what's going on in her life, tells you a bit about herself, or sets up her very own, original joke, she's easy to like. When she just talks to you, and stops trying so hard, she's all potential. Her writing style makes me feel like we're having a conversation at her kitchen table, over coffee laced with not-cream. And I like it.

So Venom, here's my two cents (and since we're both Canadian, there's no pesky exchange rate to get in the way): break free. This whole HumorBloggers thing you've gotten yourself into is hemming you in, restricting you, and not in a fun, S&M kind of way. I think there's someone in there, worth reading. When you get her out, on a regular basis, I'll want to read regularly.

The email forward/HumorBlogger stuff gets you a flaming finger.

But damned if I can't stop myself from giving you a star,

because I want to come to Manitoba and talk to you and not hear jokes my grandpa already forwarded me.

P.S.: Please don't think I'm hating on I understand the idea of community building as a reason to blog. I really do. I just don't like what it's doing to this particular blogger. So there.


  1. She talked about "losing her HumorBloggers badge" like her driver's license was about to be revoked or something.

    And she mentions the stress she feels about needing to come across as funny. No offense, but how stressed out could you have been?

    There's no flow to the writing. It's seldom personal. And anything that approaches passable is quickly negated by a link to or a forward.

    You were kind with the issuance of that star.

  2. Why light gray text on a white background? Is that a metaphor for the content?

  3. But...but...


    Sorry, lady, but this is just not funny. I didn't even crack a smile except for that one time when I saw that picture of bacon, and that wasn't because it was funny. It's because it was bacon.

  4. So Ginny, I agree with your flaming finger. Nicely done.

    It's hard to dish out flaming fingers as a guest reviewer, don't you think?

    But whatevs.

  5. I do really like that farm post you linked to. In spite of it all.

  6. So, I'm a spelling nazi: it's my job (they call it "professional deformation" here). And the first sentence of the first link has "idealic childhood". Sigh. It's hard for me to muster any enthusiasm after that. It feels like work.

  7. So a wise reviewer here once said "If you tell me you're funny, you already suck." That pretty sums up humor bloggers in my opinion.

  8. I actually really liked this blog! She has a way with words to express her feelings and really can paint a nice picture. Some posts of course are better than others... but her good ones.... they're REALLY good.

  9. There are good ones? I mean that farm was was decent, but the rest of it kind of annoyed me.

  10. You kind of annoy me. Heck, I kind of annoy myself. Everyone can be annoying at times, but I think she has some talent in there.

  11. Thanny, your FACE annoys me.

  12. Rasso, That's what she said!

    True story.

  13. I may be wrong here, but is this the first comment thread to ever devolve into "yo' momma"?

  14. My opinion of "humorbloggers" is unchanged. Flaming fingers all around yo.

  15. I'm with Miss M on the humorbloggers shit. If you have to tell people you're funny by being in their community, then you're not fucking funny.

    Oh, also? Your mom.

  16. Ginny - you are totally right with the flaming finger; I fucking deserve it. I really do promise never to fall back on those lame jokes for filler again.

    Thanks for reading far back enough to find some stuff that isn't so bad; that's the key to constructive criticism (stick, carrot, maybe some more stick).

    Warmchocmilk & Geo - thanks for your comments; it's nice to find people on here who don't just travel with the crowd (in spite of it all).

    Daddyfiles - no offence, yeah none taken. I read some of your blog too, that's 15 minutes of life I'll never get back.

    People in the sun - Really? Your template of light gray text on dark grey background? Stunning....

    Rassles - humour is personal. What's funny to me may not be funny to you, and that SHOULD be okay.
    I'm sure you based your very qualified judgement on more than just the linked posts though...

    Pueblo Girl - Holy shit, a spelling error, that's got to be the first instance of THAT on a blog!
    Thanks though for pointing out the error so I could fix it.

    Here in Franklin - I read a little of your site and found the writing tight and the stories interesting. The falling snow coming down the page is odd & distracting though.

    See, I try to form my own opinion and not just go along with what someone else has said.

    But the rest of you, you just go on being comfortable with your sweeping generalizations.
    I guess I really deserve to be put on a spit and roasted in hell for being associated with any online group; the vitriol here whenever HBDC comes up is just overwhelming!!

    Again, thank you Ginny for reviewing my blog and for encouraging me to do better. You've a standing invitation to drop by for coffee and not-cream.

  17. I guess I really deserve to be put on a spit and roasted in hell

    That's what your mom told me last night.

  18. Venom: I wouldn't worry about those 15 minutes. The time you wasted on my blog means you weren't polluting the Internet with another mindless contribution to And we're all thankful for that.

  19. Venom, to agree with you - fucking duh - humor is different for everyone, and that's the way I like it. I'm glad you're not funny. It makes the humor I like seem more honest.

    The problem with Humor Bloggers is that by nature of the name, the blogs on there should be humorous. It's horribly misleading. Some are funny. Most aren't.

    If you're going to introduce yourself as a funny blogger, you better not fucking disappoint.

    Some readers will automatically hold you to a higher standard because of the grand declaration you're making about yourself, and then when you fail to meet that they're angry and disappointed. They expect real humor, not laugh tracks and ellipses.

    And the humor bloggers badge doesn't remind those people of things that are funny. It reminds them of things that are definitely NOT funny. It's very frustrating.


    Also, your mama.

  21. Punjabi Bobby12/05/2009 10:57 AM

    Daddy Files - I'm sure glad you didn't join the group "overweight inane self absorbed daddy bloggers dot com" or your blog would suck.

    Oh wait.

    That site doesn't exist and you still suck.

  22. Punjabi Bobby: That's it? A fat "joke" and a "you suck?" Wow, you really showed me.

    Not to mention you either don't have an online sampling of your writing, or don't have the guts to post it because it's probably pitiful.

  23. Venom - Here you aren´t funny just because you have a badge on your blog. You came here for a critique (and the critique comes from the reviewer and the commenters, so I don´t see the need to insult other commenters that are giving you feedback). If you don´t like it, go back to humourblogs where they´ll convince you that you´re funny by association even if you suck dog balls.

  24. Punjabi Bobby12/05/2009 4:29 PM

    Daddy Files -

    That was not a joke, and the reference obviously went over your head.

    I'm truly sorry you are so completely stupid to miss the obvious.

    Go back to Daddy blogging, something even more retarded than mommy bloggers!



  25. Yeah. That's it PB. Your humor is so sophisticated I can't possibly comprehend it. You moron.

    Blogs, by their nature, are self indulgent you twit. It's an outlet, free to anyone with an Internet connection, for the sole purpose of expressing their own opinions. So of course writing about MY LIFE on a PERSONAL blog is self-indulgent. And if you bothered to read the "About Me" section you would've seen that within two seconds and you could've clicked away to something much more fitting to someone of your obviously towering intellect. You know, something like HumorBloggers or LolCats.

    I notice you only seem to be taking issue with me, even though 95 percent of those leaving comments agree that this particular blog is not funny. When Ask gets around to critiquing my blog feel free to chime in with your stupidity. But in the meantime, how about offering up your opinion of the blog in question, seeing as that is the whole point.

    In the meantime, I'm confident in my writing abilities and my self-indulgent blog. I'll gladly accept criticism from many of the intelligent and insightful people who frequent Ask, but you don't come close to that category.

  26. Punjabi Bobby12/07/2009 10:05 AM

    Daddy Files -

    I singled you out for your anger and name calling. I loved your little rant.

    And how you are still missing the point! And the point did have to do with Venom's blog.

    Perhaps you can use your towering intellect to again read my original comment and see if you can figure it out.

    I very much doubt it.



  27. You knew I'd show up defending the humor bloggers out there, didn't you?

    Actually, I thought the review was honest and pretty spot on. What I thought diminished it was the juvinile rantings in the comments. "Suck dog balls"? "You're mamma?" And these comments from the people that blast humor bloggers for being juvinile. Why not just leave it by saying you didn't find it funny personally and go on to tell us what your definition is for funny?'s different for everyone! It's about as stereotypical to say a humor blog sucks and isn't funny as it is for me to say that "Ask and Ye Shall Receive" is a bunch of angst-mongering writer wanna-bes with anger issues. Dumb, not true and not helpful.

  28. Your mom's dumb and not useful.


Grow a pair.