Tuesday, April 08, 2008

"I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?"

There were these guys I used to hang out with in high school and college. They were rough and rowdy and hilarious and completely inappropriate. These boys were gentle giants with foul mouths and no sense of style. They held keg parties in fields, played practical jokes constantly, made bongs out of two liter soda bottles, drank truly terrible beer by the truckloads, and lit their farts on fire.

And I loved them.

Today's blog reminds me of those boys of my youth. Bagwine Ruminations is a big, goofy, dirty kid with terrible design sense and a completely inappropriate sense of humor. And, like those guys I mention above, I just can't help but like him.

The blog is ugly. There's this huge honking banner at the top that I can barely read. There are two sidebars full of clutter and trash. He should most definitely switch to two columns and get rid of the excess mess. The bolded maroon (and black, and blue, and green) text makes my teeth itch, and I hate the ads. Include an "about page" and add years to your archives (No, I can't just count back. Sorry.). You might consider adding a category drop down, too.

Here is proof that I can be loosey-goosey (kinda) when it comes to grammar, spelling, and punctuation, because Matt-Man is a frequent mistake-maker but I still like his writing. How can I not like a guy who mentions the dance genius of Kevin Bacon (Although I think he actually had a stand-in for that movie, didn't he? Never mind. I like to suspend my disbelief about Ren.)? He's completely inappropriate. I'm embarrassed that I laughed. A lot. Like, a lot. There might be a pee stain.

I like Matt. He's goofy, he's not afraid to make fun of himself, he talks about sex a lot, he loves his kid, he drinks, he swears, he doesn't take life too seriously, and I like his politics. I'd sit down and have a beer or twelve with him and in a matter of minutes suffer the agony of perma-grin. I'm pretty sure I'd say things like, "Stop! Stop, dammit! Oh, God. My cheeks hurt from laaauuughing! Fuck... I gotta go pee."

So, it's a pretty bad blog design, and the writing isn't terribly accomplished, but goddammit he makes me laugh, and I needed that very, very much today.

21 comments:

  1. Right you are, Calamity....surprised indeed. But then, I only read the first few posts, which I didn't find funny. Lola and Larry was a riot

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  2. Ha. Other than "the writing isn't terribly accomplished", I write as if I am talking to people rather that a formal style, I agree with everything else.

    Thanks for the review, and if you are ever near Bagwine, Ohio, stop by, and we'll toss back more than a few and laugh our asses off. Cheers!!

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  3. Oddly enough, Mattman reminds me of your significant other, Calamity. ;)

    Matt: Your writing isn't bad, but could greatly benefit from being more polished. You need to write your posts, then edit and clean them up. It would be funnier if I weren't so distracted and/or having to figure out what you are trying to say.

    But I like it, just like I like Cal's man.

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  4. p.s. bond is just jealous of your manly rod.

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  5. Ha. Ya think he is? I have someone who looks over my posts now. I type faster than my typing skills allow sometimes.

    She's very good and has big boobs, so it's win-win.

    And listen Calamity, I have to use maroon type, it so...um...Wild Irish Rose colored. Cheers!!

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  6. Suggestion: Use a maroon border, white background, and black text. Problem solved. And NO BOLD! Unless it's for a heading. Or unless you are emphatic about something. Like boobs.

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  7. I have a white background, I use black for quotes...and a border? Ha ha, that would require me knowing what the hell I am doing beyond basic Blogger crap. Silly Girl. ; )

    As for the previous different color fonts in older posts...

    I went through several periods...My blue period, my Christmas green period, and prior to my sex change, my menstrual period. I have settled on the maroon.

    But I appreciate your suggestions. Cheers!!

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  8. One thing I will say, Matt's template deserves to be nominated for hideous templates of doom. UGH.

    The maroon font doesn't help.

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  9. Eh.

    S'not bad.

    Like the guy, not lovin' the blog...ESPECIALLY after I got smacked in the mouth by one of those pop-up ads.

    Fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck do I fucking hate fucking ads.

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  10. Three Cheers for Matt-man and Bagwine Ruminations!

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  11. Calm titty (sorry, just can't get that George out of my head). Calm titty, I really wanted to hate this blog because of how butt ugly it is. I've run across it once or twice and just cringed. But, based on your review I read a few of his posts and your right - not bad. Not bad at all.

    I'm with Nutjobber, lose the fucking ads. It's just annoying and it makes me want to revert to my original opinion.

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  12. Holy shit I love Matt-Man and I haven't even clicked over to the apparently hideous-looking blog yet.

    In case he's not used to reading non-bold typeface:

    Holy shit I love Matt-Man and I haven't even clicked over to the apparently hideous-looking blog yet.

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  13. To me this is like dealing with Monty Python sort of humor. - just isn't my thing, though I know it appeals to many. So that, on top of the really annoying pop-up ads... make for a big NO WAY from me.

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  14. What pop-up ads? I only have one that pop-ups and only if you visit more than 5 times in a 24 hour period. WTF?

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  15. At the end of the day its all about money...keep the ads.

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  16. First look - BAM! Ad directly in my eye. I don't know why, I just know that an ad in the peeper smarts.

    How right you are about the money, George; you now owe us a pantload for the overexposure you received...pay up!

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  17. Yeah, George, pony up the dinero. The Professor needs new elbow patches for his tweed jacket.

    Hey - did you win the Hottest Dude in Indonesia contest? I can't be assed to go back to your turd of a site and find out.

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  18. Oh, Lara. I had such high hopes for you. But knowing you don't like Monty Python has just ruined it. Blast.

    ;)

    And Matt, I got a pop-up after about 5 minutes, too. That sounds dirty, doesn't it?

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  19. I got a pop-up on Monday night. But I don't know if it is the same pop-up you're referring to here.

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  20. There is no such thing as bad publicity after all....

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Grow a pair.