Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Don't cry for me Ask And Ye Shall Receive

My reviewee for this week stood me up. Because of our little troll problem, I contacted the author of Ration Reality to make sure that the submission was legit. Apparently it was, but The Bagel of Everything sent along a sick note and asked to be reviewed in "a month or so". Well, honey, it's not the fourth grade and I'm not your mom. I nearly went ahead and reviewed it anyway, in the recent spirit of things. Instead, I decided that I shan't review your site because I can't be bothered to waste the time writing another unwelcome review. I do have a little something for you, however, for making bullshit excuses:

The ironic thing is that I had already decided that this was to be my last review. Now it is my last non-review. The Professor is lucky enough to be going back to professing. This will leave little time for the minor things in life (family and dogs and such) nevermind the major things like blog reviewing. So, I'd like to wish all you little Askers a fond fare thee well. I've enjoyed my abbreviated career as a critic but will happily join the rest of the plebs in the comment stream. Godspeed internet peoples.


  1. Ah shit.

    You'll be missed, you scared me.

  2. You can come sit in on my class if you like. But don't be absent without a proper excuse.

  3. All my buddies are sciency folk, and no offence intended, but I'd rather impale myself than sit in a science lecture.

    Any decent arty/hippy classes going?

  4. Enjoy . . . um . . . Booty.

    (Days later, and that STILL doesn't feel right!)

    It's been our sick pleasure having you around . . .

  5. Oh no! I understand the whole real life thing, the need to support your family and such, but this sucks ass. I really enjoyed each and every review. I'm very rarely tempted to use emoticons because I hate them, but if you could only see the frown on my face.

    I am glad that you're going to hang around, still.

    Not to mention I'm seriously pissed that your last review was a whiney suckbaby who bailed last minute! Along with my frown I'm using my middle finger, too.

  6. Hey, cool. We can all review the blog in the comments then, right? ;)

    (That was a gratuitous emoticon for Angel. hehe)

    We'll miss you here, Professor... but congrats on the job!

    (I withheld the emoticon there, but it was tough)

    As for the non-reviewed blog... I hated it immediately because it has those half posts that make me click to read the rest.

    So here is MY review:

    I'm lazy. Unless you are REALLY damn good I am NOT going to click. So get over yourself already and give me the entire post. Because nothing you said inspired me enough to make me click to read more.

    There. I feel better now.

  7. Why do I feel like I've been dumped unceremoniously on my keester? Dammit.

  8. Dammit, dammit, dammit!!

    You can't leave us! You just caaaaan't!


    Ok. Fine. Enjoy the new job and all.


  9. I have to say that I freaking love that blog. It hasn't been on it's game lately, but when it's good, it is so damn sickly wrong and funny that I routinely spew coffee when I see what Bagel has posted.

    That is all.

  10. Pleb. Pleb. Pleb.

    I love you even more for using that word. Makes me feel like a Muppet. Beaker, probably.


    Well... it's a loss to this site, but I know where to find you (of course) so I won't cry for you, as requested.


  11. Thanks for the "fuck you", prof. I needed that.

    Love Bites: I'm back, damnit. I still get dizzy when I stand up, but I'm going to get back into it. First time in a year we've been more than 2 days without a post.

  12. Damn, damn, damn.

    Ach, ye shall be missed, Herr Professor...remember, it was YOU holding the estrogen at bay around here, not me.


Grow a pair.