You can never have enough hats, gloves, and shoes

I'm kind of obsessed with What Not to Wear. Clinton Kelly is one of my favorite people ever, and I want him to be my new gay best friend and tell me what to wear and that I look chic. And I want Stacy London to do that whole Cher-like face thing she does and tell me to shut up! because I look so fabulous. Sure, it's an embarrassing fantasy and I'm revealing a deeply insecure and superficial (not to mention girly) side of myself, but we're all friends here (except Driz), so I'm willing to let you all laugh at me. Probably because you have this fantasy, too. Don't lie, Nutjobber. You know you do.

So, when I clicked on over to Fashion Paramedic, I was all prepared for a new fashion guru. I was ready to see dramatic transformations with the help of artful makeup and flat-front pants and layered pieces. Possibly a kitten heel or two. Or at the very least some fashion CPR. I was disappointed, however, because this blog really isn't about reviving wardrobes. It's a total misnomer. Hello, fake out.

But I wasn't disappointed long because what the Paramedic lacks in actual fashion bloggage she makes up for with a breezy, conversational, and entertaining blog.

I might actually like the blog design if it weren't for that whole three-column thing. Otherwise, I like the blue and white, and I don't mind the header too terribly much. There's just way too much going on. Get rid of all the excess crap. Or at the very least dial it down to a two-column blog and put all that crap on a different page. Also, who cares what visitor I am? Why is that at the top of the dang page? Kudos, though, for having some nice organization across the top. You have some broken links, though, like this one and this one. And jesus damn hell, that's a lot of categories. You might consider pruning those.

It's kind of a mommy blog, but the good kind, the kind with a healthy dose of snark. She's ballsy, and funny, delightfully inappropriate, and she has some great stories to tell. I am, though, extremely upset that the one post about shoes contains the word "Payless." I forgive her, though, because her husband has fashion nonsense similar to my fiance's. We all have our crosses to bear. Also, she champions the most worthwhile causes.

I liked this blog, misleading as it was. It's fun, unpretentious, and light. There's not a lot of introspection or inner wounds bared or depths explored, but that's ok. It's good, (mostly) clean, rollicking fun, and I enjoyed the ride. The writing is easy and effortless and (mostly) well-constructed, if not particularly literary or lyrical. I am going to dock you, though, for pay-for-posts, you naughty, naughty paramedic. Just change that particular tag to "sell out."

Chances are I'll read this blog again. If she promises to tell me which porn stars she met.






*My title is stolen from style icon, Patsy Stone, who might need a paramedic to revive her in a pool of her own sick, but never for fashion advice.