I Finally Got Around to Reading the Dictionary, Turns Out the Zebra Did It

Let it be known that when Miss Missives loosens her librarian-tight bun, takes off her Tina Fey glasses and shakes her tresses free, she is a veritable side-splitting siren. Daniel, an Australian twenty-something characterizes Do I Hear Happiness as a humor blog, however, at least in Miss Missive's colossal book of rules, humor still means funny.

Sure, some people go for deadpan while others go for slapstick, but funny is funny and even if it doesn't tickle your fancy, you can still see it. Now, Miss Missives I hear you saying, humor is relative. That's like saying either Kiera Knightleyor Anne Ramsey* could be seen as a beauty depending on your aesthetic. A certain waist to hip ratio, physical symmetry, clear skin and large eyes is universal in the realm of female beauty even allowing for individual cultural norms and mores. Well, same thing with funny.

Yes, there are brief moments of quick flashes of mediocre brilliance) but much of it rings like Jack Handey, absent the irony. This could be funny if fleshed out, as it stands it's clever but uninteresting. Daniel employs far too many flaccid one liners and because he only posts an average of four times a month, churning out this blather and this chum, is simply unacceptable. Most of it is the written equivalent of video taping yourself masturbating so you can relive it later. Look at me, oh how clever am I, a master of phrase, a bona fide comic savant. Problem is, watching the tape later, you'll see that you didn't look as achingly handsome as you thought you did in flagrante delicto.

The template is clean, some might say boring but it strikes me as purposefully minimalist, but Daniel, get rid of the pixellated, low rent clipart. I don't know what you're going for but the images can be improved upon, regardless.

Daniel, you can put words together in a coherent fashion, however, you lack a discernible voice, even an affected one. If writing humor is something you really want to do, then put away Halo, get your hands out of your pants and get yourself an education son. I'm going to suggest an independent study. Go here and read it all. If you want to learn the craft of delivering deadpan, ironic, witty, deeply philosophical one liners, study this master, or check out this relatively new to the scene genius. Then get all three seasons of this.

I'm sure you've seen some of this before but you need to study it. Then study it again. Only then should you put pen to paper.

*Known best for her roles in the Goonies and Throw Mama From the Train.

I give you and