Thursday, November 06, 2008

Solid sevens

With trembling fingers, and a mind terrified that I would be faced with more terrible shit, I opened the gilded envelope and removed the gold coloured card from inside.

"The blog to be reviewed this week is....

...muskrat!"

I have no idea what the fuck 'Muskrat' is supposed to mean. Yeah man, make me feel stupid, that's a good start.

Luckily your about page cleared that up, and just left me lonesome for my earlier ignorance.

Muskrat has an out of the box wordpress template, which is 'meh', it's not butchered, and it's clean and white which gives me hope that there's good content.

The header image is okay too, gives a bit of identity, but you need to do some photoshoppy shit to it and make it fit properly and not stretched.

I like the way this guy writes, I really, really do. Technically to a good standard which makes the simple act of reading past entries no great chore.

He picks interesting topics for his entries, it's not the usual filler from personal bloggers with no imagination.

He is pushing a stroller in his header so he can't have a problem with being called a 'daddy blogger' even though I think he's a bit more to boot. The variation in topics shows that, along with the fact he's not overly nice.

There is plenty of 'fuck you m'am' in his latest post, and no small amount of attitude to found dotted around elsewhere, a nice blend with his daddyness.

I did get hit with the occasional 'why fucking bother' moment, but they were few and far between.

All of this is good, quite good indeed, but there was one gut feeling I got from almost all your posts.

They seemed to be building up for a punchline, or a significant finish, but rarely delivered.

You can build a story or anecdote pretty well, but your delivery of the snark, the poignancy, the humour, or whatever, just doesn't materialise.

As I said, there are good ideas in your entries, self deprecation that's welcomingly written, but you just seem to miss out when it comes to finishing.

Maybe have a read of some blogs that make you hold your breath as you read a post, and see how they deliver a climax. It's a matter of practice.

Easily the best I've had to review now, which on reflection is not necessarily a compliment, but a real tasty cake of a blog, just no cherry.

25 comments:

  1. Thanks for the tips, Father Gene!

    I hope to be "live" next week with a new, redesigned template, header, and URL at www.fathermuskrat.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't go fucking it all up and making me look like a cock now.

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  3. some people don't need to be made to look like anything.

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  4. We've had Joe 'Sixpack', Joe 'the plumber' and now Joe 'the fucked up the arse in a previous review bitter blogger'.

    You should hook up with Joe Le Taxi and fuck right off.

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  5. Ah well, we've had Gene the padre with the KKK schmocks, Gene the wind up pastor and now Gene the insecure padre with an identity crisis.

    Must be the halloween hangover. Defrocked priests and ghouls just don't quite mix n match.

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  6. I'll give you an identity crisis you whiney wank stain, bend over and I'll make you believe you're your own mother.

    Any other tandoori chickens for me?

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  7. Thanks but no thanks, oh boneheaded man of the frock.

    As for the bending, I'm Joe, not Tammy, the altar boy. Nor tammy's mammy.

    Fuck tandoori chicken, try some vatican pork chops for size.

    :)

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  8. Yeah, he ain't bad for a lawyer and a 'Bama fan.

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  9. Do we have a new troll? Sweet. Can we dismember him, Father?

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  10. I think he's an old troll. It's nice to see exchanges like this with different characters though. Go buy a calendar.

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  11. LB, you can diss my member anytime. Correction, you can try. The good padre's already taken an almighty cleaver at junior. With mixed success, might I say!

    GoK, I may have been quiet, but i've not been entirely bereft of your calender obsession. Still on detox mode, eh? :)

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  12. No, the detox ended a few weeks ago, joe.

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  13. You lucky stiff.

    Figured you were raging against the coke machines for lack of alcohol.

    My bad.

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  14. No, Joe, turns out that I'm just an angry person. Booze or no booze. I'm lots of fun to be around.

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  15. Sure you are. Remind me to look you up when my definition of fun evolves chainsaws and raccoon meat :)

    Until then, i'll stick to aggravating them pastors.. there's nothing like being banished to the sin bin to gain perspective.

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  16. I am suddenly reminded of my favorite bumper sticker: Sorry I missed church, I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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  17. My current favourite is:

    Their eyes were watching God.

    Their hands were on little boys.

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  18. 'God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts'

    I think God wants to be a homosexual.

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  19. He's an OLD troll in fact, but not as old as some of his 'one liners'.

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  20. Which rock did Joe climb out from under, can someone remind me?

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  21. Idk, LB, but I do remember said rock didn't receive a glowing review.

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  22. Ah well, why dredge up the past? Said rock didn't recieve too kindly cause the resident pastor was feeling unnaturally sickly towards emo kids.

    I served my time. Now if you can stay in the present, that would be quite nice, thank you.

    Gene, after you spewed the word 'cuntblister', it's hard for any one liners to match it. Now, can you please stop gloating already?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Le sigh...

    For what it's worth, you didn't have an unfavourable review, you just had one with animated and vocal constructive criticism.

    Which, it must be said, you took on that double chin of yours and applied well.

    Your blog may have improved 100 fold thanks to our charitable services here, but you're still a prick.

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  24. Holy fuck,

    I think a statue of Jesus somewhere in Italy just shed a tear of blood at your comment Gene. Do i take it you had a successful day behind the altar?

    Takes one to know one eh? And yes, im a prick. And a darn good one at that.

    Now, if you're done yanking my chain, im headin back to my rock. (L.B, I believe its in Gibraltar)

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  25. And, the move is complete. If I'm lucky enough to be added to the list of favorites, please make the URL www.fathermuskrat.com.

    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.