Nonsense indeed

Oh joy. A "humour" blog.

All the Indian emos must be busy queuing up for my chemical romance tickets.

Anyway, Mr VE with your fantastical nonsense, I sense you are sitting there, buttocks clenched, waiting to be told how wonderful you are.

So here goes: You're not really. You could be, but we’ll come back to that.

Humour bloggers are starting to become the bane of my existence. This one is more or less the same as all the rest. Post after post of nothingness surrounding yet another quirky picture stolen from the internet, that a thousand other gormless humour bloggers are copy/pasting into another thousand worthless posts in the name of entertainment somewhere else on the planet.

That’s the bulk of your stuff I'm sorry to say. But, there are glimpses of hope, all is not lost. You are, if nothing else, occasionally original. You manage to squeeze out entries on a regular basis where there should be no fodder.

You show that you can write up a storm from almost nothing. This is what I see as your redeeming feature. You are a writer. Unfortunately you are a writer wasting your time on a "LOL" and "I think I threw up a little in my mouth" audience.

Write about yourself, about what you do, about the shit you put up with daily, the ins and outs of the ordinary, the mundane, and the reality. Turn your language skills and fluid vocabulary to that instead of today's Yahoo wacky news headline.

You do the haggard old humour blog "well", and that's as objective as I'm going to get about it, considering I hate everything about it at this stage. What you could do is endless. You have a nice turn of phrase, a purposefulness when you write, and an interesting dark humour that deserves a more substantial subject matter.

I think you are wasting your time doing what you do now, but of course that's personal opinion. I ask you are you proud of what you produce? all of it?

I spent hours reading through you last week and I couldn't come up with anything more than major 'meh'. So in an attempt to not be completely guided by my prejudices, I came back to it this week.

You do a neat humour blog, which to me is akin to performing a tidy home abortion, but each to their own. Two stars through my gritted teeth, with endless possibilities if you changed your focus.

= = = = =

An aside. Lest I be accused of hating an entire sub-continent, I must refer to an earlier review of the cynic's bar. A shit load of potential, but Joe had a tendancy to never shut the fuck up. It was almost unreadable without huge effort.

Fast forward 5 or 6 months and have a look at an infinitely improved template, and posts that actually read like they were edited with being read by another human in mind. You can now see the black humour in almost every entry, the alternating touches of self deprecation and obnoxiousness, and a sinister grumpiness that I enjoy.

It's different, in written pace and origins, and although the comments tend to spiral into incomprehensible screeches and grunts, overall it's no real bad thing.

You are not a cynic, you're just a grumpy fucker, but one who wanted critique, took it on the chin, and acted. A pretty fucking unique effort and I think it deserves a few of these.

I havent got a fucking clue why there are a billion stars in this post, and I can't be arsed trying to fix it any more. To clarify, 2 for funny man and 3 for the slumdog millionaire.