I Wish This Fucking Day Would End

This isn't his first time guest reviewing here at Ask. Ghost of Keywork, lovingly referred to as Gok around these parts, probably finished having any firsts about the time he was fifteen. According to his mom he's a whore, but whores of a feather flock together and somehow he crossed starry paths with our favorite hooker and they'll be heading down the aisle pretty soon to make it official. Sure he's gone private, but if you want to get a load of the goods, you might want to ask nice and bring lots of lube. - Miss Missives

Hello, I believe we all know who I am. I won't lie, this review is rather short and to the point. I don't know anyone like today's blogger, and after reading his blog, I'm glad. Really, it is that bad. Before I dig into my next victim, go here and have a laugh. Because there is absolutely no humor to be found anywhere at A Day In The Life. Monday's post was the closest that you came to making me contemplate laughter. Seriously, dude, you've been going at this since 2003. Obviously, blogging is not your thing, stick to graphic design. I have friends that work in your field, and they are, for the most part, funny. Entertaining even. I wish they would blog. Sadly, they don't, and you do. Thanks. Ok, let us get to your journal. Tell you what, let me show the good people why you should never post again.


Exhibit A: Enthralling!


Exhibit B: Captivating!


Exhibit C: Oh, Fuck, I Can't Fake It Anymore.


Look, I'd love to know what you did yesterday, but you can't be bothered to give me any fucking details. So, fuck you. No, really, fuck you. Your template is pathetic. So is mine, but my writing more than makes up for it. The only thing your writing does is make everyone feel better about their writing. Again, you have been getting away with this spineless shit for a few years now. Stop. If you want to put your spin on the news, then fucking put your spin on it. I don't want to waste any more time than I already have, so I'm going to lay it down right now:

If I were on fire, burning to death, and you had more than enough water(I'm likening your blog to life-giving water) to extinguish me, I would pay you to take your water(blog) and go fuck yourself. I would rather die in an entertaining fashion than run the risk of living after being exposed to your boring fucking water(blog). Seriously.

Oh, get rid of the ads, shorten up your blog roll, fix your goddamned archives, and hire someone else to write for you. Here are two things that I will now address, from your blog:

This. Yeah, God really has it in for you. Look, a funny raccoon post. What? My blog is being reviewed by a dead raccoon? Fuck. Yeah, you didn't do yourself any favors by posting that lolcoon. The post was fine without it.

And this. What, I didn't link anything? That's right, I didn't. On your blog, you have a link that I can click on to donate money for 'all the work you do around here'(referring to your blog, I assume). This was the icing on your boring cake of a blog.

Please, cut off all your fingers and stay away from the internet. Can we make that a new rating?