Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Manila vanilla

Remember way back when we had all those twee little emo kids from India or Manila or wherever submitting their blogs for evisceration? 'Member that? Of course you do. Who could forget? Well, we thought we had exhausted that particular resource, but no. There's more. Aren't we lucky? Or cursed. Whichever.

When the Excrement Hits the Ventilation

She has a terrible, horrible, really, really bad template. Bland, boring, soulless. The template actually makes me physically angry. I want to punch this template and then maybe pee on it, and I am normally a very docile, peaceful, live and let live kind of person, and I don't like to soil my hands with violence. Bad for the complexion, too. But this? I could happily run over this blog template, back up, do it again, then light it on fire and dance while it burns.

Roll up the categories 'cause they go on forever. She has like twelve zillion other blogs, too, which makes me think she's ADD. And as she's got eleventy-five hundred people on her blogroll (in coordinating categories, no less), I think it's about damn time she added a whole other page for those. There are also all kinds of linky whozits and stat counter things cluttering the sidebar up, which you know we hate, not to mention ads. Also, the navigation is for shit.

And you just know I'm going to hate the writing, don't you? Well, you're wrong. It's actually not bad. Pretty funny at times, in fact. Redjeulle's not a bad writer. Seriously. No, really, I'm not kidding. I surmise that she actually does it for a living. Ish. Maybe. Oh, there are too many memes, and there are times when she writes in Tagalog (I think), so to me it all looks like afjkd lsa jklfd uiks, and there are a lot of cultural differences that I can't wade through ("lolo" what?), but barring that, there are good things here. And she's been doing this a long, long time. Since September 2004, which is like 20 years in blog years.

Is it great writing? Is it lyrical and moving and engrossing and do I want to come back again for more, just to see what she's come up with next? No. But Redjeulle's got personality, she's keen and she writes fairly well and seems to enjoy herself. The blog is full of travelogues and details about her buddies and their jaunts to Starbucks and some place called Chocolate Kiss, and there are hangovers and small anxieties and wry observations and pretty pictures.

In her "About Me" she tells us what she hates, but hatred isn't the measure of a person (generally, unless you're Driz), so I'd be happy with more back story. As so often happens with blogs we review, there's a lot of surface, a lot of innocuous banter, but not a lot of exploration or depth or meat. And there's no sex, unless you count lusting after surfers and celebrities, which I don't, although hi hottie. She posts frequently, but meaninglessly. Little snippets of life, glimpses of vacations and nights out but never any real exposition. It's a bit like she's writing to keep friends up to date, and I'm not her friend so most of the time I don't much care, even though she makes me giggle. Also, the name is misleading: I never once saw any shit hitting fans.

All told, I was pleasantly surprised by Redjeuelle. I won't be back for more, but I didn't hate my foray into her world. I even enjoyed it a little bit, if you overlook the times I had to leave the room to refrain myself from garroting her template.

I give it





for the (surprisingly) pretty good writing,







for all the filler, memes, and lack of depth, and






for the template that made me want to kick you in the head. Hard.

23 comments:

  1. I love the idea that you would punch the template, hesitate as you thought it over, and then pee on it; it’s a deep kind of disgust that withstands that kind of scrutiny.

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  2. You're right about the template, even I hate it. I just don't know how or where to get one that isn't too frilly.

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  3. Look, Red, we did the work for you!

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  4. The only thing I can say about her template is that Jobber's review this week makes hers look good. At least it isn't shit brown. Secondly, I don't love her, and I don't hate her. I'm pretty meh on the whole deal. And, if Filipinos have to blog, they should talk a lot more about lumpia, pancet, and adobo.

    That is all.

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  5. Yeah, every blog this week has been a 'meh' for me. Just not enough to them to bring a love, hatred, or any other emotion.

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  6. merely one joke about the blog name? that is potentially the worst name I have ever encountered.

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  7. And here I was thinking you to be totally incapable os such emotions, Angel. Someone please take these two off their menstrual cycles, I fear they may be infected with 'give a fuck'.

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  8. Also, someone please hit me in the head with a keyboard. 'Os'? Fucking retarded, raccoon, fucking retarded.

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  9. I probably shouldn't have been so free wheeling with the stars, but she made me giggle, and it was so much better than I expected, and I'm just generally in a fandamntastic mood today, so stars are flying out my ass I guess. Stand clear.

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  10. Look at all my commas. My commas, look, there they are. I'll be standing clear of your ass, I don't want to be around when that Jack Nicholson Rating makes a come back.

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  11. awww. You were thinking I'm a figid bitch, Key? I get that a lot.

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  12. I'm not completely surprised by that.

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  13. What I'd like to know is how you got gigantic flaming gas balls IN your ass in the first place, Cal.

    And yes, worst name in bloghistory.

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  14. I haven't heard the phrase "frigid bitch" in, like, forever.

    Makes me imagine women holding champagne-flutes by the stem and making poisonous small-talk while smiling through gritted-teeth...Julio, where are those crab-cakes?

    Honestly, they say that Mexicans aren't actually lazy, but you'd never be able to tell from the way Julio loafs around the house. I swear, sometimes I think he'd just be happier living with his family back in Puerto Rico instead of picking up my dry-cleaning...

    Sorry - what were we talking about?

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  15. Dude, I'm sure they have house boys in Puerto Rico. What the fuck are we talking about?

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  16. Didn't you call me a frigid bitch, you Puerto Rican houseboy?

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  17. I heard that "bich" was latin for "generosity"...I also heard that "mitten" is a swear-word.

    I'm going to go away for a while.

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  18. "if Filipinos have to blog, they should talk a lot more about lumpia, pancet, and adobo."

    Wow. And I would have thought that there's more to our lives than that. I really don't care much about my template, but don't box me in.

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  19. Keywork, stop instulting me. It turns me on.

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  20. Red:

    I was married to a Filipino man (I use the term loosely) for 12 years. That was sarcasm.

    However, I would find a post about lumpia more interesting than most of your content. At least it would make me hungry.

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Grow a pair.